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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)

236 replies

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 16:13

Afternoon peeps.

Went on a bit of a date last night with someone I met about a week ago. We met when I did a fairly large job for her (I'm a tree surgeon and she had a large leylandii she needed removing) - did the job, had a bit of a laugh with her on the day and her 4 year old daughter.

Anyway she had my mobile number and later that night she text me to say great job etc etc and we just ended up texting and the odd phone call for about a week after the job, eventually she got around to the "fancy a drink one night" kinda thing. I said sure why not.

So off we go on our "date"- we only went to a nice quiet pub I know for some food, I drove so she could have a drink (she only had 2 glasses of wine though) and we had a really nice time, lots of laughing and getting to know each other, seemed to be going well.

On the drive home (as in to take her home about 9pm) my GPS piped up with "Turn Left in 100 yards" because it thought I was going home and "home" appeared on the screen. She said "oh you live up there? Can I see your house?" I thought ok sure. So we head up my road, I point and say "that one there" - she said "So aren't you going to invite me in for coffee?" (yes, she did say exactly that)

So, sure thing. Into the house we go (and NO I wasn't taking coffee to mean anything other than coffee but it wouldn't matter anyway as you will soon see) - she FLIPPED HER LID. I had a chainsaw on the floor in the hallway and a very (very) large chainsaw on the floor in the kitchen. She wen't completely bonkers and started with "OMG what if my daughter was here she could cut her self"
"You shouldn't leave things like that lying around it's dangerous" and so on.

My response was "well your daughter isn't here, is she?! If she was they wouldn't be there"

She said "Take me home, I can't deal with this"

So I did. I made attempts to reason with her on the 20 min drive back to hers, no joy. She just got out and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm not bothered that I haven't heard from her, I just want to know what others make of this.

The only reason they were there is because I was running slightly late for our "date" because a job ran over a bit and instead of messing around unlocking the garage etc I just grabbed them from the trailer, dumped them where I dumped them and got straight in the shower so I could pick her up on time. It's not like I normally keep them there and I wasn't at all expecting us to end up at my place (for any reason)

Was she being unreasonable?

OP posts:

BlackStars · 06/09/2017 18:08

OMG what if my daughter was here she could cut her self

Think a chain saw would probably do a lot more than cut her!

sheldonesque · 06/09/2017 18:08

Pack up your very large chainsaw and run for the hills with the trees on

She sounds right off her cotoneaster...

kmc1111 · 06/09/2017 18:09

I think a previous poster has it. She spent the whole date playing out a little happily ever after fantasy, to the point that she was so attached to it she got pissed off at you for doing something that wouldn't have been safe if you all lived together.

rwalker · 06/09/2017 18:10

nutter unless there was a chair ,rope and loads of plastic sheeting there totally unjustiedfied .

Boatmistress17 · 06/09/2017 18:14

Be very glad you weren't an accountant with a very safe book on a table in the hall. .

PetalHead · 06/09/2017 18:17

I'd have got a fright, so I understand her shock. She probably just found the idea of getting it on with you didn't feel right with piles of chainsaws lying around, it would make you feel vulnerable. But she couldn't say that so brought her DD into it.

But I'd have just said "BLOODY HELL chainsaws! Oh yes you're a tree surgeon - but they're a bit scary, could you put them away before we bonk have coffee."

Charolais · 06/09/2017 18:19

I have a feeling if your chainsaws had been next to your massive in-door swimming pool she’d have been okay with it. You dodged a bullet.

Brittbugs80 · 06/09/2017 18:22

I can't help but imagen her version

"Went on a date with this bloke and be gave me a lift home. We drove past his house and he asked me in for coffee and he had chainsaws all over the place, I was lucky to get out alive!!!!

Sorry op, but you definitely had a lucky escape. It sounds like she had been planning your future, however you didn't consider her daughter when you left the chainsaws out

Original poster

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 18:27

Ha boat yeah I guess!

petal - I don't think bonkage was on her mind, it wasn't on mine anyway. I just thought maybe she wanted to chat a bit longer etc.

My house is hardly lavish, it's just a 3 bed semi, she hadn't even asked where I live the whole evening. I've done a lot of work on it including the gardens but it's definitely not "striking" in any way. You wouldn't drive along and think "holy shit the owner of that one must be amazing and I must somehow get inside"

OP posts:

SisyphusHadItEasy · 06/09/2017 18:28

She was being crackers, unless you have several children of your own running around. I think you dodged a bullet there. You went for ONE drink and she starts fretting about her daughter in your house?

Run. Do not look back.

And for the record, I currently have a chainsaw sitting in my entry. It is in its carrying case, though

Geepee71 · 06/09/2017 18:39

Run away.........

WorknameJimEllis · 06/09/2017 18:40

Gotta love a nice Stihl. My favourite Chainsaw manufacturer.

I think you dodged a bullet there OP.

She probably wouldn't have been prepared for the wear on tear on the washing machine either if you'd have got together. Chainsaw dust destroys pumps and filters in my experience.

donquixotedelamancha · 06/09/2017 18:46

This must be the best reception a post from a bloke has ever received on MN.

I feel obliged to insist that you apologise for The Patriarchy, OP :-)

demirose87 · 06/09/2017 18:48

She is being unreasonable about her daughter hurting herself on them as she wasn't even there. However, I'd say she realised she felt uneasy in your company and shouldn't have gone back to your house, and the chainsaws reinforced this. It's probably freaked her out and she's thought "he could be anyone, do anything". But it does sound irrational as you're a tree surgeon and part of your work equipment.

dollydaydream114 · 06/09/2017 18:57

I have to say I don't think tools like that belong in the house, I'd be a bit put off. Sure that's what the garage or work van is for?

LOL. It is his house. He is a tree surgeon. He lives alone. He left it there as a one-off because he didn't have time to put it away unless he was late for the date. He had no intention of inviting her round until she asked to see his house and then also asked to be invited in.

Also, a normal reaction to being 'put off' by that situation is to drink your coffee up, go home and decline a second date. It isn't to start shouting 'my daughter could cut herself' when her daughter isn't and has never been in the bloody house and then to say she 'can't deal with this'. RTFT.

LakieLady · 06/09/2017 19:04

Imagine how shocked she'd have been if your harness and ropes had been there as well!

Partypolitics99 · 06/09/2017 19:05

Can I suggest on all future dates you leave the chainsaws out, could be a brill way of sorting out the batshit from the not batshit (don't like the word normal)

Lilmisskittykat · 06/09/2017 19:06

Absolutely nuts... close miss there I think !

Willow2017 · 06/09/2017 19:08

Yep dodged a bullet there, what a loon.

Definitely no severed limbs from exes, I keep those in the freezer

OOOh its nearly Halloween, can I borrow them?

Willow2017 · 06/09/2017 19:12

I have to say I don't think tools like that belong in the house, I'd be a bit put off. Sure that's what the garage or work van is for?

I know its common for people to not bother themselves to read the whole thread or even all the op's posts but to not even finish the very first post then comment something totaly inappropriate is a first for me.

Its his house, surely he can put whatever he likes wherever he likes anytime he likes without having to explain it to random strangers?

Original poster

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 19:39

Thank you so much to everyone for the replies, I'm surprised at the volume!

Workname with regards the washing machines you are spot on, it really does knock them for a sixer! I'm more of a Husqvarna guy my self though, but it's hard to get large models from our main dealer so I went with Stihl years ago.

Donq - thank you so much, I was wondering how it would go down, but thankfully most people have their heads screwed on! I was seriously questioning my self, probably wasted a good bit of time on that between last night and today!

Lakie Oh don't get me started on the climbing gear! One kit can cost more than the price of a new saw! And that's without rigging kit! I do think I dodged a bullet. I mean it was only one date but I had no idea they could go so spectacularly wrong without a major blunder!

OP posts:

FizzyGreenWater · 06/09/2017 19:54

I love the word Husqvarna. You don't see it often enough these days.

I should hang out with more tree surgeons.

HUSQVARNA

Original poster

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 20:00

I should hang out with more tree surgeons

Absolutely! And all of my PPE is branded Husqvarna, even my T-Shirts. Although I do have some branded "POSCH LEIBNITZ" (firewood processing) too. Nothing I wear is branded Stihl but I do use their larger saws as Husky are harder to get in this neck of the woods.

Anyway I won't bore you further with my branding :)

OP posts:

MycatsaPirate · 06/09/2017 20:03

You should be grateful really.

I mean, she could have gone to use your bathroom and ended up lodged out the window trying to retrieve a poo.

gunsandbanjos · 06/09/2017 20:11

She's a fucking lunatic! I do think you're lucky though, you only had to have one date to find out what a loon she is.

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