Or should my dd be capable of buying sanitary towels?

[goodeggsarehardtocatch]

I didn't think I was BU however I now have dd1&2 and DH all in a strop with me.
Dd1 has had periods for 3 years and every month I buy the towels, tampax etc until she complained there were too many so I now check, every month and tonight dd2 has started her period. I went into dd1 and requested some towels for her sister and she informs me she is also on her period and is using her last towel, no biggy I gave each dd a carry pack with spare pads etc so they have enough but will need to buy some tomorrow.
This is where the trouble started, I am working tomorrow and told dd1 she would need to nip to the shops for pads etc, at which point she and dd2. Claimed they can't and would rather die than be seen buying ' that stuff' I said that was ridiculous and it's an every day item to purchase when DH started saying of course they shouldn't have to buy it, as a mum it's my job

So I asked him to think about what he was saying and now no one is talking to me, am I deluded ? Will buying their own sanitary products with my money obviously scare them for life ?

Morning all, yes she returned with correct pads.
No there are not 3 menstruating females in the house, I haven't had a period since 2008
Hence not knowing what stock there is.
Dd1 is partly embarrassed and partly being a teen drama llama
Dd2 is the no fuss just do it kind
I've ordered reusable towels from amazon for dd2 to try and set up subscription on prime for dd1's stock .

*he not she ffs

OP is it so hard to remember to buy them?

I buy loads of stuff for my family that I don't use personally.

My dd 12 has been having periods for two years now.
I just pick up day and night pads for her every other week when we are food shopping.
If dh goes up that isle with me he will grab them and on more than one occasion he's done emergency stops for me if I have ran out.

When we were teens my sis and I would go to the shop if need be and buy them as mum worked as well as dad but dad would also pick them up if needed
Never been a big deal and it's not a big deal now although dd does get embarrassed still but she's young.
My 7 yr old dd always asks if we need pads when we walk passed that aisle

Cali no as I have stated more than once, I have no problem getting sanitary products but dd1 complained they were too many ( she keeps them in her room) so I just ask now every single week !

I hated buying them until late teens (even now I hide them under a bag of carrots or loaf of bread in the trolley and tend to avoid a check out with a young male serving - ridiculous I know).
When I was 14, I used to buy them from the small local chemist as it meant not being in a queue at the supermarket or Boots with them in my basket!!
Nobody is being totally unreasonable (apart from your DP really).

I think of my dad, now a very elderly man, and frankly I think he would have died before he would have been willing to buy sanitary towels for us. Although in fairness, I don't think he ever set foot in a supermarket when I was a child/teenager either (although that wasn't so much laziness as the fact that he was always at work). After the initial 'you're not dying, this is what is happening to you' talk from my mum when I was 12, it was made very clear to me that the word period was never to be mentioned again.

I hated buying them until late teens (even now I hide them under a bag of carrots or loaf of bread in the trolley and tend to avoid a check out with a young male serving - ridiculous I know)

I'm the same, I tend to go to a self-service till when I can. That's the best solution for an embarrassed teen, but they need to make sure they're utterly au fait with the system first and won't trigger an "unexpected item in the bagging area" alert or similar, which means a staff member will come over which defeats the object.

shop assistants are deeply disinterested in your purchases

except in Sainsburys where they are told to make conversation and comment on your purchases. I'd hope they wouldn't start a conversation about the merits of un/perfumed sanitary towels with a teenager though :)

Its not about the mother not buying them it's about the girls getting a grip and learning how to do it.
My daughter has bought them matter of fact my since aged 12 and she's literally embarrassed just by walking down the road
They just have to get in and do some of the shit things in life, it can't all be fluffy unicorns.

Yanbu, tell them all to get a grip I have never known or heard of anyone of any age being embarrassed about buying tampons! Tena lady's a different matter😱

it's about the girls getting a grip and learning how to do it

What is there to learn though? You select an item. You make a purchase.

I don't get the idea that buying tampons is some big life lesson. I didn't do it until I left home. I was still perfectly able to purchase them at that point because I knew how shops worked

My DD (nearly 20) has issues with buying them but will if she has to. It doesn't bother me as she does a lot when she is home from university - all the cleaning, any ironing, lots of the cooking, all the washing etc. We stock up before she goes back to university - we all have a couple of areas that we're not comfortable with for whatever reason.

Where has the embarrassment come from? I'm the only female in my household but have always discussed periods openly. DH will regularly get pads if he is doing the shopping and DS1 has even gone and got them for me in an emergency.

They really need to get over it.

A 12 year old boy who can navigate themselves around that selection is to be applauded

It's not rocket science - get the cheapest packet with wings etc

What brassbrass said. Or the 12 year old boy has been text a screenshot of the product on boots website so he knows exactly what to buy, this is what I do with DH when I need him to get some for me. It's not rocket science.

I'm sure my 13 year old wouldn't be bothered about buying them, she never has too as I stock pile (house of 3 females, I like to be over prepared).

Really she should be checking if she is low on san pro, and telling you, or give her money to buy it.

I was the same as Ceto and bought my own as it was much more embarrassing to ask DM to buy them! Plus whenever she did, she always bought the normal flow ones without wings which were never enough for me.

Generally, whoever is doing a shop picks them up-as long as daughter has put them on the list!

To be fair, she has never forgotten.

My husband certainly wouldn't think that it is my job as I'm her mum & even though he works & I don't would probably go to save her embarrassment if I couldn't/wouldn't.

As a teen I was hideously embarrassed every time I went into the shops to get stuff because it was a small town and i felt that everyone was looking. Even though it's nothing to be ashamed of, I think it's a teen thing to be a bit self conscious so I always buy my daughter's sanpro and put it in the drawer for her. When she's older she can buy her own, but I just remember how cringey I found it at the same age. I do think she would be happy to buy her own if she needed to though.

I've lost count of the amount of times either myself or DD have asked DP to grab sanitary stuff from the shops!

He wouldn't bat an eyelid. Whoever is closest to the shop grabs what the family needs regardless if its a pint of milk or a box of tampons.

They should go themselves. The only place to get them round here is Sainsbury's, so I'll just put them in with the shopping.

Can totally understand how they felt, when I was younger I would have been mortified to buy them myself, it was hard enough looking the till lady in the eyes buying a bra my friends and I got our pads from our mums. I'm quite glad because I was so awkward at that age that I can imagine myself doing something stupid if she hadn't bought them,like just using loo paper to avoid having to get the proper products.

If I'm honest, I was embarrassed at that age to. The only thing that got me over it was a Saturday job in Woolies at 16, when I realised I was only interested in the price and not the purchase.

It still took me a year or two before i was able to ask for them.

Having said that, this was in the 80s and there wasn't any ads on the telly for them as they were to be kept quiet.

Normal for DD to be embarrassed.

Normal to ask her to do it anyway.

The sooner she gets over her embarrassment the better, so I think you did absolutely the right thing OP. No need to make a big deal of it, and of course it should be included in the household shopping usually, but as a one-off she should be capable of buying her own sanitary products.

Also, dare I say it, one day she might need to buy condoms and I seem to remember even more bravery is needed then!