Or should my dd be capable of buying sanitary towels?

[goodeggsarehardtocatch]

I didn't think I was BU however I now have dd1&2 and DH all in a strop with me.
Dd1 has had periods for 3 years and every month I buy the towels, tampax etc until she complained there were too many so I now check, every month and tonight dd2 has started her period. I went into dd1 and requested some towels for her sister and she informs me she is also on her period and is using her last towel, no biggy I gave each dd a carry pack with spare pads etc so they have enough but will need to buy some tomorrow.
This is where the trouble started, I am working tomorrow and told dd1 she would need to nip to the shops for pads etc, at which point she and dd2. Claimed they can't and would rather die than be seen buying ' that stuff' I said that was ridiculous and it's an every day item to purchase when DH started saying of course they shouldn't have to buy it, as a mum it's my job

So I asked him to think about what he was saying and now no one is talking to me, am I deluded ? Will buying their own sanitary products with my money obviously scare them for life ?

Exactly Dixie
Although dd2 gets a pass this time

It does not matter how confident everyone else was as a teenager, if your children feel embarrassed then that is how they feel. There is huge difference between 13 and 16 when they begin to have their own money.

Good grief, my teenage son has had to buy me lil lets when I was in need once. He didn't complain. YANBU. Tell them to get a grip or get their dad to do it.

If they're happy to discuss the heaviness of their flow with their dad and telling him it looks like 'a massacre in my pants' I think they're just being typical teen drama queens rather than being genuinely embarrassed to buy towels at the corner shop. They're saying you have to get them because they think you will give in and sort it out for them, not because they actually can't cope with the thought of buying them.

I bet if they were out on a big shopping trip with their mates all day or going swimming or something and suddenly realised they'd come on, they would buy something rather than risk leaking or have to go home.

Mine wouldn't care now but a few years back and in local shop would have mortified them. I don't see any harm in a mother continuing to put supplies in with the weekly shop alongside other toiletries.

Just seen your update. They're v young and buying them in a small village shop where they may see people they know, including boys, would be pretty embarrassing at that age.

I wasn't keen on buying them at that age. But these days they can use a self service till and not have to be served by Kevin from school.

We'll if they can't warn you they are running low then they'll have to buy them themselves. Tough shit. It's that or bleed everywhere. You can't take time off work to buy pads for a fucking teenager. They're perfectly capable, I did it at their age and they'll just have to grow up a bit.

As I'm typing DH has now set off to tesco's garage 40min round trip. He's still huffing about my cruel behaviour but it does seem more about the village shop than anything

It does not matter how confident everyone else was as a teenager, if your children feel embarrassed then that is how they feel. There is huge difference between 13 and 16 when they begin to have their own money

It only became such an "embarrassment" Anna "big deal" because they didn't even sat they needed some and someone then had to go make a special trip despite having so little time with work.

How long are people supposed to-do everyone's thinking for them. Bloody exhausting

I was embarrassed at that age and used to get bus to the next town lol. My dad saw it as very taboo and it wasn't to be mentioned in his presence, being the bolshy feminist I was I used to Take any chance to bring it up.

It's the sort of thing that's hugely embarrassing when you're a teenager.

But if you can't get them then they need to get a grip and get their own.

If DH is so bothered, he should get them. Real men can buy sanitary products for the women in their lives without worrying that someone thinks they have a uterus.

Polly hit the nail on the head. They are happy to discuss in more detail than even I can handle moon cups and blood food with DH and I but won't go the shop ?

Dd used to squirm about buying them, despite a very open upbringing, wouldn't buy her own. Bit of a sharp shock on school trip to Belgium being caught unawares, having to get her own and in French.

• flow not food ffs

Yes they need to be on the way to buying this kind of stuff. I know it's icky for them but if they can't buy tampons, are they going to be able to get other vital stuff like condoms?

Basic stuff like this and learning to use the washing machine, assemble furniture, make a meal or three and much more needs to be checked off the list before age 18.

Now do I reward him for being a loving DH or point out they won't learn to let me know when they need them now ?

Even now I get anxious buying them and I sent my mum for them when I was a teen.

Mind you, I also won't buy toilet rolls as my only item, lest people think I've run out at home and come out just to replenish them (although this is usually the case).

Hmm I don't think its unreasonable to expect them to be able to buy their own, but it can be embarrassing as a younger teen, I got to 16 and suddenly didn't give a shit but at 13 I would have been mortified!
However if DH thinks they shouldn't have to do it he should step in! My dad was an old fashioned man of few words didn't want to know any of his girls girly stuff but he still picked up pads at grocery shop. And I once my DH had to ask for some at petrol station night window Was mich younger and not been together long at the time and had been caught out by early period in light jeans so didn't want to get out of car, he hopped out went strolling up to the window not remotely embarrassed, and loudly asked for a large pack of always-no the ones with wings and started giving the guy directions to which isle they were in

I felt embarrassed, age 11, when told to buy my own a couple of months after I had started my periods. I was told firmly I needed to get on with is and crack on, there was no drama, I was just told. I went to the equivalent of village shop and bought some and felt ok after that. It was good for me.

So, to your DDs, Toughen up buttercup!! It will not kill you, you do not die of embarrassment. You will feel liberated once you have done it and noone has taken any notice.

Speaking as a mum with 3 daughters, I think they're being a bit twee. And if it has to be a parent, why does it have to be you? Could your DH not step up?

If they're considering a mooncup and hate buying pads in person, have they considered reusable pads? You can buy them once online and then use them for years. I started using them after having DS when tampons become uncomfortable, and am now positively evangelical about them . they are much more comfortable to use, more absorbent and actually LESS 'icky' (not that I care but as a 14 year old I might have!) than disposables - mine have a black inner lining so you can't really even see blood. you just pop them in a lidded bin full of cold water after use and then machine wash. Out and about, you just need a small waterproof washbag in your handbag. Honestly, I am the least hippy, lentil weaving person known to humanity and I love them.
Here endeth the public service announcement

Teach them not to be embarrassed about menstruating?

Well ye, ps, I do remember how embarrassing it all was, but it has to be done!
I expect you probably pick them up for your girls at the supermarket, but hell, they're going to have to get over it sooner or later, and your DH, should understand that.....and butt out

Oh dear! Tbh it seems like your eldest DD needs to get a grip really, especially if she has been having them for 3 years. She has kind of caused this by failing to tell you she was running low and your youngest dd starting hers at the same time. I presume its her first in absence of saying she's been having them for X length of time.

Or the other DD could go with DH, and if they can discuss blood flow and moon cups, no one should be worrying about a natural bodily function. Would they all be too embarrassed to got to the village shop and buy toilet roll in case anyone thought they might have a poo?