Or should my dd be capable of buying sanitary towels?

[goodeggsarehardtocatch]

I didn't think I was BU however I now have dd1&2 and DH all in a strop with me.
Dd1 has had periods for 3 years and every month I buy the towels, tampax etc until she complained there were too many so I now check, every month and tonight dd2 has started her period. I went into dd1 and requested some towels for her sister and she informs me she is also on her period and is using her last towel, no biggy I gave each dd a carry pack with spare pads etc so they have enough but will need to buy some tomorrow.
This is where the trouble started, I am working tomorrow and told dd1 she would need to nip to the shops for pads etc, at which point she and dd2. Claimed they can't and would rather die than be seen buying ' that stuff' I said that was ridiculous and it's an every day item to purchase when DH started saying of course they shouldn't have to buy it, as a mum it's my job

So I asked him to think about what he was saying and now no one is talking to me, am I deluded ? Will buying their own sanitary products with my money obviously scare them for life ?

I'm far too late to this but aw, your poor girls. They're embarrassed - they'll get over it but this is a time you can do them a kindness, they're teenagers and they're not going to be needing you much longer.

I'm glad dh has gone.

My 12 year old son isnt embarrassed to buy them for me. Maybe because they obviously aren't for him it makes it easier?

Rubbish, it's something anybody should buy!

My DH volunteers to get what I/the teen needs. He isn't a bit weird about it.

You can not compare men buying them to teenagers, it's pretty obvious that it's not for men and they are adults. I volunteer for a local food bank, we provide two schools in a poverty area with pads. Some families cannot afford them, some girls are just to embarrassed to ask their parents. It is common for them to use socks, toilet rolls and paper towels. My DD takes a packet a month for her friend who is too embarrassed to go the shop with the money her mum leaves her.

My daughter won't discuss the issue at all. She texts me when she needs pads. From the same room.

I will reiterate DH has no issue buying them and is in the car now, he just felt I was BU asking the girls to buy them it sounds like I need to take them to buy some and ease them into it
, teenage drama is best avoided if possible. I am now looking at reusable pads, any advice recommendations ?

If desperate and there is something weird about the village shop specifically then Amazon deliver next day (also deliver condoms).

They do need to practice buying their own and get past the embarrassment. As PPs say, they need to be comfortable buying condoms, discussion contraception with unfamiliar HCPs and discussing consent and sex with future partners when the time comes. Simple things like buying their own sanitary towels can help in a small way with feeling more comfortable talking about their bodies, buying for their bodies and generally being more matter of fact about themselves.

LOL at the whole cooked chicken!!

I love reusable pads myself but DD will only get them (if shewants them) when she is prepared to rinse them and change the water herself. Some people don't bother with wet pailing but I prefer to rinse before washing with other clothes.

Re your OP, I was at boarding school so there was never any choice but to go and ask for tampon in front of a queue of classmates, then carry them back to your dorm. It seems very precious to me for your DH to think your eldest shouldn't be expected to buy them.

I love the Cheeky Mama bamboo pads made by Cheeky Wipes. I bought them prior to my periods returning after DS2 a couple of years ago and haven't bought any disposable products since (also use mooncups). I don't know if it's mainly that my flows have changed since having DCs, but I have found reusable products much less icky than my pre-DC periods with disposables.

I was embarrassed about buying pads in the early days of buying periods at 14. I remember "accidentally knocking" them off the supermarket shelf into the trolley of food shopping rather than just picking them up. I did get over it well in time for university. A less personal place like a supermarket is less embarrassing than a smaller, more familiar setting. These days I'm used to being gatecrashed by small children mid-mooncup procedure and don't bat an eyelid. There is hope for them

Give them the cash and tell them you are not buying. They can either grow up or bleed through their pants.

I have quite a lot of sympathy for DD2 if she's just started her very first period. That's a lot to deal with even without the stress of going shopping for pads on her own. I'd go with her a couple of times and help her navigate the vast array of products to find what she wants.

DD1, however, probably needs to get over herself and start taking responsibility.

I highly recommend they both watch Bree, who knows EVERYTHING about periods and sanitary protection and talks about it all without any embarrassment: www.youtube.com/user/preciousstarspads

I was happy to buy my own tampons at 13 straight after I started but point blank refused to buy the mammoth maxi pads that my mum insisted on getting for herself. This was at our small village shop.

Ahh yes we know about prrecioustarpads as dd2 has been looking into the whole period Eco/disposable issue prior to starting. She ultimately wants a moon up but needs to wait and work out her flow but we haven't really looked at reusable pads.
Dd1 however won't even discuss reusable sanitary pads so I guess it's just different characters, DH has returned a hero in dd1's eyes but I've informed them all we are going to be sanitary shopping together to get past this. It's a basic female function fgs and she will struggle with embarrassment over far worse in the future.

There are some gorgeous pads here, even your dd1 may be converted once she feels how soft they are!
www.honouryourflow.co.uk/

My mum used to send me to get hers but she's 80 and back then you could only get them in a chemist and they discretely slipped them over the counter in a paper bag! They were great big long things with loops which she wore on a belt.

,

Did DH buy the right ones?

I didn't buy any until I left home for university.

There wasn't a shop anywhere near.

It was always my responsibility to put on the list what/when I needed.

Both my parents were happy to buy for me.

Just a look at that website mentioned above. I knew reusable pads were a thing, but not reusable tampons. I have just watched the video on this page: www.honouryourflow.co.uk/maxi-organic-cotton-tampon-2904-p.asp

The woman seems perfectly lovely but not way in hell would I do that every month! Life is short enough without washing and restuffing many tampons. We really do get a rough deal biology wise, compared to men!

Similar here Jaques and no choice in the village shop so Dad would get them in a chemists (they weren't called pharmacies back then lol!!) near his workplace.

It's clear who bothers to read a thread & who doesn't

GoodEgg. Re DH, don't do either. He's been both a twat & a decent bloke tonight, they cancel each other out. Ignore it now.

Tomorrow, tell both girls they need to tell you if they're runnng low in time to get them with the shopping, otherwise they will be sorting it out themselves at the corner shop as neither you or DH are wasting the time or petrol to do what he's done tonight. Tell DD2 she's right, it's not a big deal.

However, I say that as a woman in her 40's who still hates buying them & who would go well out of her way not to buy them on their own or in the corner shop. It's not surprising I have periods like most other women, I'm fine with that, I just don't want every man & his dog knowing I've got one right now.

However, in my defence I have no issue with discussing periods, sex or anything else with the kids. I think people knowing I have my period right now is an issue deep rooted in my first ever period & years at Senior School.

I can totally understand DD1 not wanting to buy them at the corner shop, but if she wants to avoid that she needs to let whoever is doing the shopping know.

As your dd2 is having her period for the first time l wouldnt have got into all that today. You dont want her associating periods with hassle. Maybe get your dd1 to go with dd2 to buy them next week saying you need her to look after her younger dsis and show her the ropes.But l feel if she is embarrassed she is embarrassed so listen to her.

I think this is a sad thread, with some posters having an almost congratulatory air that they made their teenage DDs buy their own sanpro. I remember my mum struggling round to the Co-op and filling a trolley with sanitary towels (1970s, we had to use safety pins!) when I was 13, because she was dying. She wanted to make sure I was ok for the next few months until I was able to cope on my own.

Is the village shop the only practical option? Can they get them somewhere else on their way back from school, for instance?

I always bought mine as a teenager, I found it infinitely less embarrassing than asking my mother to get them.

Can't believe that the only person in your household who is practical and kind has been put in the doghouse!

I'd leave the money on the bench with a note that reads: I'm sure that two bright young adults and one fully grown one will manage this simple household task between them. If nobody does, I guess it'll be a good exercise in considering that most women in the world don't even have access to sanitary products. I guess they have to figure things out too. Love mum.