to not understand how my friend can afford to send her daughter to private school?

[user1494078639]

Hi there ladies,

My first post here, but have been a member for a few months.

My friend went down the sperm donation route at 29. She had her daughter at 34. Her daughter is now 6... What I don't understand is she is at a private prep school, she also paid nursery fees, etc. without ever moaning to me, which is something a lot of us to talk about.

She did do a biology degree, but she has stayed in a lab role, so is only on around 30k.

She lives in a really nice newly built 2 bed flat (SE) and has a nice car :( recently gone on a Disney cruise! None of her family are about, I just don't get it.

We are on 56k joint income and really struggle, I know we have 2, but they are in state school, we struggle to go on a 'holiday of a lifetime' and it's always cornwall. maybe spain every few years.

I sound so jealous don't I!?

Honestly though, AIBU to not understand how she does it?

IME a lot of people I know have been left an inheritance and this is how they fund things I can only dream of.

Maybe she won the lottery and never told anyone, maybe she has an inheritance. At the end of the day, her financial situation is her private business and you shouldn't waste another second thinking about it or being envious.

We're not going to be able to tell you though, are we?
You'd have to either ask her or let it go.

She probably earns more than you think.

Omg why is it any of your concern?

OK, I am going to ask the obvious - why does it bother you so much that you have worked out her finances and mused on her family situation? She might have money, such as an inheritance or trust fund that you know nothing about. Unless you suspect criminal activity, then her child going to private school doesn't affect you and you need to keep your nose out of her business. As for her not moaning about money to you - you do realise some people don't like to talk about money and that is OK too?

Either she has some money she has inherited/saved or she earns more than you think.

She might've been saving for this for a long time? Wealthy relatives who left her an inheritance? Might be part of her overall remuneration package? She could earn a lot more than you think... ask her if you're that bothered?!?

Inheritance, savings, earns more than you think, lottery win.

Who knows. None of your business I'm afraid.

Trust fund/inheritance, lottery, credit card, paid better than letting on, very thrifty. Who knows!

I know it isn't any of my business, it's just a bit sad to see. I don't get why we can't live comfortably like that!

Maybe she is just a good manager, shops in aldi, careful with the pennies and enjoys the bigger things? Maybe she saved to have money in the bank before she had her DD. Or maybe she just won the
lottery.

Or maybe she has a sugar daddy?

You'd be amazed at what people do to pay school fees. Honestly, it's like crack.

A decade ago, I had to tell a family that their child couldn't attend due to arrears. They had remortgaged their significant property twice to pay school fees.

I tend to stay off of the state vs indy threads but can state categorically that once in the independent system, parents will make stupid (long term) decisions to keep their children at these schools.

it's just a bit sad to see

eh, not really. You can't live like that because you don't earn enough or have any money as back up. What is hard to understand about why you personally can't afford it?

But @hibertMcSchlibert she hasn't cut back on anything, she lives a nicer life if anything!

Or is on the game.

I know of at least one mother who was funding a child's school place this way.

Truth. I know

But @Bluntness100 we earn more than her

You don't need to understand. It's not your business.

My sister owns a large four bed detached house goes out When ever she feels like her and her dh have a decent car each they go on nice holidays when I was working we were in jobs that paid similar and we had one car had a two bed flat just about managed a holiday n England every year they got a large inheritance however about 12 years ago.

know it isn't any of my business, it's just a bit sad to see. I don't get why we can't live comfortably like that!

So jealousy then - best advice I could give it to get over it. Things are often not as they seem. Money isn't the be all and end all.

Keep your beak out & focus on your own affairs. Otherwise you are not a friend.

Who can blame her wanting the best for her wee girl? She might be foregoing lots on herself.

None of your business.

Does she "see" men for money on a PT basis?

high class call girl ?
drug runner ?
arms dealer ?

maybe get a second job from list above OP then you too can have a disney cruise...:0

i understand why you are curious, when my dds were at school i used to spend hours discussing ( bitching) with my then DH about how on earth other families afforded all that they did...

Maybe she works in the evening doing online "dances" for money? Those wonen can earn a lot from that and it isn't something she would discuss with you at coffee really.