to not understand how my friend can afford to send her daughter to private school?

[user1494078639]

Hi there ladies,

My first post here, but have been a member for a few months.

My friend went down the sperm donation route at 29. She had her daughter at 34. Her daughter is now 6... What I don't understand is she is at a private prep school, she also paid nursery fees, etc. without ever moaning to me, which is something a lot of us to talk about.

She did do a biology degree, but she has stayed in a lab role, so is only on around 30k.

She lives in a really nice newly built 2 bed flat (SE) and has a nice car :( recently gone on a Disney cruise! None of her family are about, I just don't get it.

We are on 56k joint income and really struggle, I know we have 2, but they are in state school, we struggle to go on a 'holiday of a lifetime' and it's always cornwall. maybe spain every few years.

I sound so jealous don't I!?

Honestly though, AIBU to not understand how she does it?

If she's your friend why don't you just ask her?

You can't save money for a private education on £30k a year.
Inheritance is the most likely. I know people who have inherited from rich Aunties for example. And I can see why someone who has inherited might earmark the money for a private education.

But you do live comfortably! You holiday at home and sometimes abroad, plenty of people never have a holiday. You have a car. I assume you're never cold or hungry? What exactly is wrong with state school, 93% of kids in uk are at them.
I am pleased for my friends that have nice things, but mature enough to know it's only window dressing and, once you're over the poverty line, life really is about what you make it. Rich or just comfortable, shit happens to all of us and we have more in common than we realise.

If her family aren't around, then I would think most likely your friend has inherited money

And a 40 year old is not making a lot of money from camwork. Few make a lot of money from this, and the ones that do are not 40.

Are her parents paying for their grandchild's education? Inheritance?

And I do understand any jealousy you might have about large inheritances.

we earn more than her

Are you sure? And she may have an inheritance.

And ffs to those suggesting she's a whore. What the hell is wrong with you? Would you suggest it about a man?

How do you know you earn more than she does?

A largish inheritance, well invested, can make a big difference when comparing 56k to whatever her income may be.

5% of 300k would pay a large proportion of school fees without having to dip into salary.

I reckon people wonder this about me and OH and our 'nice life.' My dad died when I was a teenager and it has benefitted my mum and I financially. Quit being so nosy, it's got nothing to do with you. Sometimes a comfortable life comes at great expense. I'd happily trade and have my dad back/my dad get the opportunity to meet his grandkids

She sounds like the type that's very budget savvy... budgets for everything.. lives within her means and only buys what she can afford... allowing her to save for amazing trips..

I know more than one person who started saving for their children's education well before they'd even met the other parent of their DC.

I would happily have my mum back too. No inheritance though. Instead we are paying for my FIL to have more than 2 15 minutes visits a day from carers.

And if you work in certain jobs, you know what other people earn. It is easy to know roughly what people in certain jobs earn.

Maybe her daughter got a bursary. I think inheritance is the most likely, maybe years ago. She might have bought her house outright and then mortgaged it for the school fees.

Ah well. As a friend with 2 at private school said to me, really her disposable income is the same as mine your friend is either much richer than she let's on or is living on a tightrope.

We sent two children to private school on a joint income of Around £58k The big thing is our mortgage is small. We bought our first house a terrace for £23k sold it for 35k & our current house cost £90k.

Can i ask are private prep schools even worth it?

Perhaps her daughter has a bursary/scholarship?
Perhaps the school run a scheme to help kids from poorer backgrounds?
Perhaps your friend hasn't told you exactly what she earns/what her job is because she didn't like you being so nosey

Hmmm yes definitely ask her....in the nicest way possible. I actually want to know, and I don't mind admitting I'm jealous of her too!!!

Bluntness is right. Suggesting that some random woman that none of us have met is a sex worker isn't really on, is it?

And for what? On the basis of OP's jealous, speculative, nosey posts. Bizarre.

Would being an arms dealer really pay enough to fund a private education?

...asking for a friend.

I don't understand why it is sad for you to see. There will always be others who have more money than you. So your friend can afford private school fees for her daughter and your can't, I don't see why it would bother you.

One of the private schools near me has special schemes for some kids, you don't need to be deprived as such, but eg not having one parent might be one of the criteria that would get you into the school on very reduced fees.

As for the rest, it sounds like she has other money tucked away, or thousands on credit cards. Or both!