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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make an official complaint about colleague?

792 replies

Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 15:12

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

OP posts:
Rachel0Greep · 19/10/2017 13:22

This thread is potentially very outing OP, in my opinion. I say that out of genuine concern, and not trying to get at you in any way.

LucieLucie · 19/10/2017 13:35

Wow, I’ve read the entire thread and can’t believe this woman’s sense of entitlement!

Her request to you for a reference is pushy and extremely telling.

I’d definitely let BIL know verbally about her, put nothing in writing though.

Employers still do often pick up the phone and call an applicants previous workplace. I know of at least twice where this has resulted in a person not being offered the position.

I think I’d let her believe that you will comply. I wouldn’t reply to her email though.

Obviously you’d be committing fraud if you were to provide a misleading reference but she deserves all she gets.

BitOfANameChange · 19/10/2017 13:46

I'd absolutely tell your BIL, but verbally, not in writing.

And forward the email to HR. Perhaps chat to any colleagues and suggest they do the same if they receive any requests.

OldEnglishSheepDog · 19/10/2017 13:47

Well that's an hour of my day gone! With regards your BIL, I would tell him she requested a reference but you were not her line manager so you weren't able to help. All true and leaves him the opportunity to fill in the blanks.

FinallyDecidedOnUserName · 19/10/2017 14:19

Shameless placemarking

BlueSapp · 19/10/2017 14:49

I'd be surprised if she actually gets an interview, I mean if she spent so much time skiving she probably hasn't a clue how to describe the skills shes supposed to have for these jobs.

BlueSapp · 19/10/2017 14:50

yes tell us what happens when you tel your BIL.

Gingernaut · 19/10/2017 14:53

Please forward the email to HR.

If she gives you as a referee, you could face some sort of disciplinary action.

Blimey, she's hard work isn't she?

FarceFace · 19/10/2017 15:25

Asking a colleague to change their job title is brazen lies. I would forward to HR and ignore.

Cagliostro · 19/10/2017 18:11

Nowt wrong with telling BIL, you can do it totally separately from your/his job roles. "OMG this total FTCF at work casually mention full name did XYZ can you believe it? Apparently she's applying for lots of other jobs hahaha..."

Subtle eh? :o

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 19/10/2017 18:42

Emailed the following today:

Hi FTCF
I'm sure you know I can't provide a reference for you or pretend I was your line manager.

Her:
LOL!
Did you mean to attach them. They're not attached Smile

Me:
I'm sure you know I can't provide a reference for you or pretend I was your line manager.

Her:
Really??????

Me:
Really. Do you want me to forward your email to personnel.

Her:
No

BIL called me today Smile asking why I'd kept my promotion quiet as he didn't know I was managing a "proactive and solution focused team".

I laughed (a bit uncomfortably) and kept quiet.

BIL: Say no more

I think we are done folks

OP posts:
ToadsforJustice · 19/10/2017 18:49

Good result. 👏🏻

Cagliostro · 19/10/2017 18:50

Good lord 😱 Shameless doesn't cover it

IncyWincyGrownUp · 19/10/2017 19:41

Beautifully done!

BakedBeans47 · 19/10/2017 20:20

Heheheh

Karma!

KeepItAsItIs · 19/10/2017 21:02

"Hi FTCF
I'm sure you know I can't provide a reference for you or pretend I was your line manager.

Her:
LOL!
Did you mean to attach them. They're not attached smile"

No! No way OP! You are yanking our chain now, she did not say this. Wink

Fucking hell, this was the CF that really did keep on giving!

Did you forward the email to your BIL? I'm just confused about the promotion to "managing a "proactive and solution focused team".
or is this something she said?

RandomMess · 19/10/2017 21:08

She truly does live in some alternate universe...

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 19/10/2017 21:18

Keep

It was on her application form that she was an integral part of a proactive and solution focused team. BIL read this and then saw me named as her manager. That's why he called me and mentioned keeping the promotion quiet. He knows I don't line manage anyone.
And I am 100% not yanking your chain. That was the email, word for word.

Blows your mind doesn't it.

OP posts:
Jux · 19/10/2017 21:20

I like your BIL, About Grin

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 19/10/2017 21:23

He's amazing Jux. Don't even know why I worried whether to tell him or not. He'd see straight through her Grin

OP posts:
TheDailyWail · 19/10/2017 22:19

I’m completely stunned!

EvilDemonRaspberryOverlord · 20/10/2017 08:28

I am so glad I've never had to manage someone that bad. She's so convinced she's in the right she won't see all that's wrong.

FarceFace · 20/10/2017 08:57

A happy ending!

KeepItAsItIs · 20/10/2017 14:29

Ah I get it now.

You read about fuckwits and pisstakers every day on here but I think reading your reply about how you can't do that and her then just asking why it wasn't attached is truely astounding. It never fails to amaze me how much people have a real lack of self awareness.

bluetongue · 21/10/2017 01:21

This has been therapeutic to read for me. I had a FCCF in my workplace as well. Management put it in the too hard basket as she is leaving for another job. Problem is I'm the person who is going to doing the pile of work she has left behind Sad

She had leaving drinks last night and I just couldn't bring myself to go and be all 'congrats on your new job I'll miss you so much' when she's left me in the shit.

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