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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make an official complaint about colleague?

792 replies

Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 15:12

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 03/09/2017 16:13

This would piss me off so much even if it didnt affect me.

I would have a word with her boss. Say that it is unprofessional the way that she is behaving. If nothing changes and you are brave enough start taking time out here and there.

Mouikey · 03/09/2017 16:13

I would tread carefully here, formal complaints generally have consequences and often these are unintended or unexpected - sometimes on the person making the complaint. Sad but true.

If you have a good relationship with someone in HR go sound them out informally and ask what the options are, but I'd say you would be best off out of it, especially as you have no direct responsibility over this person.

Additionally by complaining you will only be highlighting the persons line managers faults - that won't go down well.

And you may not be aware of any arrangements that this person has put in place with her flexible working - some people in my place of work only do term time, it is a thing, although not common.

Many aspects of life are unfair and we deal with them, I would place this issue in that pile otherwise it will affect you detrimentally for no real reason

WhoresDoeuvres · 03/09/2017 16:19

It's not really anything to do with you. It's down to her manager to sort it out. If she's taking the piss, it's wasting company time, but it's not wasting your time.

I know you're jealous because of the unfairness, but it's so not worth getting involved in. As for not wanting to go into work, that sounds a bit immature. The fact the rest of the office gossips about this woman also seems quite inappropriate.

Maryhadalittlelamb12 · 03/09/2017 16:19

So you are going to complain that it's unfair that she gets away with stuff which you don't? I think you'll find that there will be a reason for this ( which you won't be told) and that nothing will change. If it was going to change it would have done by now. But there's no reason why you can't complain and see what happens

Neutrogena · 03/09/2017 16:21

Stay out of this.
Her manager will deal with this.

Guavaf1sh · 03/09/2017 16:25

I understand why you're pissed. You work hard and she takes the Mickey all the time, devaluing all that you do. It's annoying but there isn't really anything you can do. There are too many people like that around now unfortunately

chinam · 03/09/2017 16:28

Another vote for you staying out of it.
Maybe focus on your own work rather than obsessing about what other people are up to.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 16:29

Thanks for all your input. It's genuinely appreciated.

I get your points about it not affecting me and being company time she is wasting, not mine but that doesn't make it OK so I'm going to speak to our boss tomorrow.

There is no agreement in place around flexible working for her - She just takes the piss because she can.

Thanks again for your replies Smile

OP posts:
dinosaurkisses · 03/09/2017 16:30

I don't understand why people are saying that OP should stay out of it and that her manager will resolve it- if they haven't addresssed it successfully in the last four years why would they do it now?

I'd definitely complain, regardless of whether or not her behaviour was impacting on my work load. Her expectation that she can carry on like this because of her position as a parent is unfair on everyone else in the office. It might even have an impact of future reasonable requests for flexible working for other staff because they've seen how easily abused it can be.

happypoobum · 03/09/2017 16:34

There is no agreement in place around flexible working for her Do you work in HR? Otherwise how can you know?

I think you are going to make yourself just as unpopular as she is, but with the managers.

Glittertwins · 03/09/2017 16:36

If we work flexi/part-time, any appointments that can be made on the non working days should be made for non working days. If this is not possible, then we are expected to switch our days around. Obviously emergency appointments are different.

Myamya · 03/09/2017 16:36

This could really backfire and she could make a complaint about you. It annoys you, understandably, but it doesn't affect your work. Her arrangements with her manager don't need to be shared with you. I would personally leave the whole thing well alone.

MainFlamingo · 03/09/2017 16:37

Unfortunately every workplace has a favoured employee who takes the piss and gets away with it. Complaining about them never usually resolves anything as managers are always quick to leap to their defence (usually the employee kisses their arse). This type of workplace unfairness is partly why I now work for myself.

scarletpopapil · 03/09/2017 16:39

If it doesn't directly impact on you, I wouldn't complain. Not because her behaviour is OK, but because you risk looking petty to senior staff. I know it's unfair. She's being a twat. But there will always be twats about - you can't let them get to you like this or you'll do more harm to yourself than you will to them.

Wolfiefan · 03/09/2017 16:40

If you're not her manager then I wouldn't make a complaint. It's not your place. You say yourself that it doesn't affect you. So why complain? Spite? Sour grapes? Let the manager deal with it.

ElizabethShaw · 03/09/2017 16:42

Essentially the complaint will be about her manager though - "you are managing her badly/I don't think you are doing your job properly".

What is the outcome the OP wants/expects - and is that realistic?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/09/2017 16:44

I don't see how you can make an official complaint without sounding totally petty, as it doesn't have a direct impact on you or your work.

The people who could and maybe should make the complaint are her colleagues who have to pick up the slack for her - but if they don't feel the need to do so, then you really don't have a leg to stand on.

You absolutely can't try and get them to do it either or you'll be setting up a witch-hunt scenario.

I get that it's bloody annoying - I'd find it bloody annoying too! - but it's not up to you to complain about it unless and until it affects you directly.

AskBasil · 03/09/2017 16:45

Oh please OP, stay out of it.

You have no work grounds for interfering in how someone else does their work and as others have said, all you are doing by complaining, is bringing attention the woeful line management that she's receiving.

Everyone has at least one colleague who they would like to throttle because of the lack of work, commitment etc. I have one myself, who strolls in, chats, goes to the loo, chats more, works his way round the office stopping off at desks and having a 20 minute chat each time, occasionally does a bit of work, then complains when he has a deadline (once a year) that he's too busy. He's an absolute wanker and he really annoys me, but if I complain about him, I am in effect, complaining about his director not bothering to manage him properly. It would be professional suicide. Which is what you are considering. Don't do it!

tiggytape · 03/09/2017 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jay55 · 03/09/2017 16:49

Your complaint is with her manager really. Although ducking out of meetings to call home when it isn't an emergency probably impacts you all, especially if it means she gets out of being assigned tasks.

Nuttynoo · 03/09/2017 16:50

It's possible there's a lot you don't know and you'll never know. Maybe one of her kids has special needs or severe allergies, maybe she has depression, maybe her manager has authorized everything because she actually does a good job when she's in. Maybe she has a secret work from home arrangement or has taken unpaid leave.

Sashkin · 03/09/2017 16:52

DM had a boss like this - actually falsifying his time sheets to get extra flexi time (saying his hours were 00:00-23:59 - and no, that wasn't the default setting, the default was 9-5).

She complained and complained, to his boss, to HR, to payroll. Absolutely nothing happened except she was marked as a troublemaker and insubordinate. And she made herself even more annoyed by the fact nobody was taking any action and the managers were just closing ranks.

Honestly not worth it.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 16:52

Happy I know there are no arrangements in place because when I've discussed it with our boss previously he's said that he knows she does it and will speak to her about it. She then says "of course I'll make the time up when I'm out" but never does.

I realise some of you think I'm being petty but over the last 3 weeks she has had 5 things she had to leave the office for - all non emergencies - so has had one day without personal stuff to do. She has 3 days a week to arrange these appointments but chooses to have them organised for her working days.

So maybe I'm being petty but it's an absolute piss take.

OP posts:
WhoresDoeuvres · 03/09/2017 16:55

She has 3 days a week to arrange these appointments but chooses to have them organised for her working days.

Again, you are not her manager, and this is nothing to do with you at all as it doesn't impact your work. I'd advise you to stop monitoring your colleague so much as it's just going to make you unhappy. This is not a situation you can control.

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 03/09/2017 16:57

We had a very, very similar situation at work and it really backfired on the person making the complaint - (s)he was accused of bullying. Both sides had a good point. Years on the situation hasn't been resolved and many working days have been wasted to work-related stress, depression etc. Horrible car crash to watch and I was so glad it didn't affect me. Thread carefully OP. Good working relationships are worth their weight in gold.