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Original poster

To think this is too much to expect with a 4 week old baby?!

192 replies

MotherofKitties · 03/09/2017 08:39

I just want to see whether people think this is reasonable at this stage and what they did/would expect at this age?

I've had my first baby and she's 4 weeks old. I've had a countless number of people telling me I need to get her to baby classes (baby sensory, massage etc) and get myself out and about to the gym and fitness classes but I think that at 4 weeks that's far too early, or is it not?!

Also with my DH back at work and my DD constantly feeding, all I seem to be able to do all day is feed and change her, I just about managing to keep on top of the house work but I don't even make it out of the house most days!

She's a happy baby, sleeps as you would expect a 4 week old to but is alert and so far doesn't suffer from colic (fingers crossed this continues!) and I'm slim and getting back into some sort of shape purely through Breastfeeding, so I don't know why there's so much expectation to be taking her to classes or hitting the gym so soon, unless this is the norm?

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes? What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 03/09/2017 08:41

Didn't bother for the first 6 months tbh, if you want to go then go, if you don't then don't!

IMO they're more for the mum than the baby!

Scaredycat2016 · 03/09/2017 08:43

Hey, I have a 4 week old too ☺️ my advice would be do whatever you feel capable of doing and try not to feel too pressured by what others are telling you you should or shouldn't be doing. For me, I found it absolutely necessary to be getting out of the house ASAP as I'm really really really not good at being at home all day, whether that's shopping or just taking baby for a nice walk, but as for classes we haven't done any. Congrats btw ☺️

Bitlost · 03/09/2017 08:44

I waited for 6 weeks to start exercising with a trainer specialised in post partum fitness.

MiniMaxi · 03/09/2017 08:44

Just ignore them! You'll know when you feel ready to do that stuff. I took DS to a baby sensory class at 6 months old ish and he enjoyed it but also cried sometimes! The smaller babies slept through it.

ScarletBegonia1234 · 03/09/2017 08:45

When you start to feel a bit like it's groundhog day/cabin fever then going to a class is a good way to meet other mums and break up the day. That might be now or in 5 months!

FenceSitter01 · 03/09/2017 08:45

In their own way people are trying to make sure you don't become isolated and fall victim to PND or 'baby blues'. One person making a helpful suggestion doesnt know 50 other people have also made a similar suggestion.

FWIW all mother and baby classes are to be avoided like the plague unless you have a desire to feel like crap about your self watching competitive parenting within cliques.

BluePheasant · 03/09/2017 08:45

Didn't do any baby classes until about 4 months.
Also lost weight through breastfeeding, not a gym person anyway.
They're talking nonsense. You don't NEED to do anything if you don't fancy it.
Some new mums liked to be seen to be out doing something everyday I found, seemed like a competition for some of them on who was doing the most activities.

CecilyP · 03/09/2017 08:46

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes?

I didn't; babies do not need to go to classes! It is an opportunity to go out and meet other mums. It is moot, however, compulsory.

Copperbeech33 · 03/09/2017 08:46

do whatever you want to do. people are maybe concerned that you appear isolated, and some women can feel lonely and miserable, thats ll, but if you are happy, fine.

As long as you are getting out a bit, it doesn't matter where or what, park, shops, friends, etc, it doesn't have to be classes.

DonkeyOaty · 03/09/2017 08:46

Congratulations!

Whoever is pushing you to classes or groups needs to give their heads a wobble.

Try to get out every day for fresh air even if its just sitting in your garden.

PieceOfTheMoon · 03/09/2017 08:47

There is no benefit to getting out and about for a 4 week old, all they want is to be close to you. The main reason people say to start going out more is to make sure you don't feel isolated, it can help prevent PND etc.

Sounds like you're doing a brilliant job. Go with you instincts and do what makes you happy.

Once you start climbing the walls with boredom and craving adult company maybe think about some baby groups.

WhamBarsArentAsFizzyAsTheyWere · 03/09/2017 08:47

I wasn't even out of pyjamas at 4 weeks, let alone out if the house.

Do what you need to and everyone else can fuck off with their opinions.

FlipperSkipper · 03/09/2017 08:47

I started a class and a mum and baby group when DS was 5 weeks old as I was going a bit mental with loneliness. I now do a class or group 4 days a week, but that is for me as much as him. He's 7 months and I've not done a fitness class yet as I'm waiting for pelvic floor physio. I do lots of walking with him and I'm 1.5 stone lighter than pre pregnancy. So what's right for you.

WhooooAmI24601 · 03/09/2017 08:47

It's different for everyone but with DS1 I stayed at home for much longer purely because I could; we could work to one another's routine and needs so we'd go out to see Grandparents and family and friends once or twice a week, take the dog out for a walk with him in a sling each morning but generally we weren't out and about often.

With DS2 we had DS1 to get to school each morning (there's 5 years age gap) so we'd be up, dressed and out of the house by 8.30. We'd walk to school with the dog (and DS2 in the sling) and I'd spend a lot more time with other Mums purely because my social circle was wider and more local.

You sound as though you're doing things at your own pace which is the only thing that matters. I will say though that by 6 months we would go to playgroups and a couple of the women that I met there were genuinely amazing. Through good weeks and bad those women became genuine friends and DS1 is 12 soon and I still see two of the ones from his baby group.

user1493759849 · 03/09/2017 08:48

It is unreasonable to expect all that! I never did it with any of mine! Never heard anything like it.

You just enjoy baby and keep doing what you're doing.

Celticlassie · 03/09/2017 08:48

My baby's 5 months and I'm only just taking her to groups now. Partly because a lot of stuff was off for the school holidays but you should take your time and don't rush into doing things with a tiny baby. They get very little from them when they're young anyway.
As for the gym, I'm giving myself 9 months to lose all the weight - as that's how long it took me to put it on.

AnnaT45 · 03/09/2017 08:48

I mainly sat at my bum watching box sets feeding for the first three months. I found the baby groups stressful to get to and also some mums are very competitive so you end up feeling worse rather than better!

I think once they're mobile is when you need to get out or they just pull the house apart!

I wouldn't be exercising till at least 6 weeks after. I just did walks with the pram to Costa where I got a cake! Breastfeeding is fab for weight loss but shouldn't be a priority!

WineIsMyMainVice · 03/09/2017 08:48

Congratulations.
You should just do things when you are ready. Don't listen to anyone else. I did baby massage and didn't find it very useful at all really! But (much) later on at nearly a year old I did baby sensory and both my children and I really enjoyed it!
People love to stick their noses in and give advice when you've had a baby as it makes them feel useful. Just take the bits that you want from it and enjoy your baby.

FlipperSkipper · 03/09/2017 08:49

Oh and not all classes and groups are competitive cliqueyness, I've made some really good friends through mine who have helped me through PND.

HumpHumpWhale · 03/09/2017 08:49

At 4 weeks with the first baby, I was feeding him for 11ty billion hours a day, changing him as needed, showering some days, getting out of the house for a walk some days, and eating the sandwiches and drinking the smoothie my DH was making for me before leaving for work in the morning. He did all cooking and cleaning up to about 3 months, I think. At least for 2 months anyway. I didn't exercise other than walking until a year with either kid.

Me264 · 03/09/2017 08:50

With my DS I was just starting to get out and about when he was 4/5 weeks old, but it was short trips to the supermarket or for coffee at that stage. I think we started baby sensory classes at 8 weeks and another baby class run by the children's centre. By that time I was ready to have some structure to my week and liked having classes to go to on set days but some people don't like that. Do what's right for you!

SuperRainbows · 03/09/2017 08:50

I never went to baby classes.
Enjoy this special time with your new baby.

People are so interfering.

LIZS · 03/09/2017 08:51

You sound fine, congratulations! Just bear in mind that some popular baby classes have waiting lists so if you might want to do them it would be worth booking soon.

NapQueen · 03/09/2017 08:51

I didnt do any classes. A nice walk in the mornings and a cuppa with a friend or family member in the afternoon was the most I ever achieved in a day on Mat Leave.

Do what you want, OP.

MrsDustyBusty · 03/09/2017 08:51

Don't push yourself to do things before you're ready - I did, and it added to the sense of feeling stressed and inadequate. You'll know when the time is right, and I would suggest four weeks is probably too early. You've been hit by a bus, you need to take some time to recover.

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