To think this is too much to expect with a 4 week old baby?!

[MotherofKitties]

I just want to see whether people think this is reasonable at this stage and what they did/would expect at this age?

I've had my first baby and she's 4 weeks old. I've had a countless number of people telling me I need to get her to baby classes (baby sensory, massage etc) and get myself out and about to the gym and fitness classes but I think that at 4 weeks that's far too early, or is it not?!

Also with my DH back at work and my DD constantly feeding, all I seem to be able to do all day is feed and change her, I just about managing to keep on top of the house work but I don't even make it out of the house most days!

She's a happy baby, sleeps as you would expect a 4 week old to but is alert and so far doesn't suffer from colic (fingers crossed this continues!) and I'm slim and getting back into some sort of shape purely through Breastfeeding, so I don't know why there's so much expectation to be taking her to classes or hitting the gym so soon, unless this is the norm?

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes? What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?

Don't feel coerced into doing things you don't want to. Just because you've got a baby doesn't mean you now have to do x, y, z. Do what you want to do.

If you want to do some classes great! If you don't, it doesn't matter. Same with the gym.

Fwiw, I've still not been to a class with DD 9 months or the gym and I don't intend to do either. When she's old enough to benefit from the social aspect then we'll be off to play group etc. But until then we're happy just pottering along with our day to day routine .

Do what suits you OP not what others think should suit you and congratulations on your baby! I'm in no way jealous that they're a good sleeper

Who are these people?

See less of them. They sound like weirdos and the last thing you want for the next 3 years is a bunch of competitive mothers all eager to claim their baby is the best at gymnastics, Mandarin and doing the downward dog.

Just stay happy.

Classes aren't even for the babies, they're for the mothers. Many seem to forget this. The babies are not 'socialising' (they don't even notice other kids exist til much later, and care about them much later still) and couldn't care less what movements their parents are moving their arms into. The classes are for mothers to socialise. Many don't even enjoy them. I didn't. Mostly because of the aforementioned WankerParents who babbled on about the brain-boosting power of kale and how they left them in from of 'educational' apps all day so they'd 'pick up technology' (such a badge of honor) and... ugh. Cringe.

You sound like you're doing great :)

When my son was born, I was running on adrenaline for the early weeks. During my pregnancy, I was naively expecting baby to sleep constantly with images of me having an immaculate house and home cooked meals every day. It was a bit of a shock to the system when he had to spend a week in SCBU, had colic and breastfed constantly. I also had pressure and expectation from family members (not DP) to keep it together which I think kind of conditioned me to have the same expectations for myself. Although i had support, I expected far to much of myself. I developed OCD tendencies in regards to cleaning and orderliness in the house. I was even painting the decking at 4 weeks PP. All of this while severly aneamic and other minor health quibbles (asthma etc) I was so proud of myself for keeping it together. Like I said, it was adrenaline and shock. Within a few months, I completely broke down one day and realised I actually had PND and the early weeks had actually been my using my energy to fight to keep things together. I needed to give the impression to the outside world that I could keep it together and was superwoman. I'm still dealing with those health quibbles as I didn't give me body a chance to recover at the start.

I took my son to baby classes at 9 weeks. Honestly, looking back, there wasn't much point as he wasn't doing anything. Other mums were there with older babies who were more interactive. The only one i have enjoyed (but haven't been able to go much) is baby yoga. It's only now has that he's 6 months old that I'm even contemplating going to a baby group with him. There's some days where we just chill in the house and don't get dressed until lunch time. We eat and play, he'll nap and I'll watch TV. It's bliss. Just wish I'd enjoyed more days like this more in the early weeks.

What I'm trying to say is, don't overdo it. Try and enjoy it. Go for a stroll if you're feeling up to it, if not enjoy some cuddles on the sofa and watch TV. Go for coffee with a friend. But at 4 weeks old, they just need you, lots of cuddles, food and sleep.

Congrats on your baby OP.

Aev Your first paragraph gave me a good chuckle! Shouldn't all baby's be fluent in Mandarin and be able to play flawless Mozart on the piano whilst painting a rival to the Mona Lisa with their toes by 18 months?

The baby classes are for the mums. I loved them though . Didn't go til DS was about 3 months though.

Go to baby cinema OP. It's fab.

You don't have to do anything, trust your own instincts as a mum. You have enough to deal with right now.

I have four kids - with my first I did go to baby massage classes when she was about six weeks... loved it. Also went to other baby things. Maternity flies by so quickly and when you have more kids it's very hard to get to those sorts of thing. They grow so quickly - enjoy your baby!

Baby classes are for the mum not the baby because it can be isolating having a new born.
If you don't want to go to any you ring have to, 4 weeks old is too early to be doing anything much for either of you.
You need 6-8 weeks to recover from the birth so give yourself a break and don't do anything

Next one who suggests it laugh and say 'that sounds great, I'll drop the sick and poo covered clothes round yours to be done when I'm on the way so they'll get done'.
My MIL couldn't figure out why I wasn't doing driving lessons right after I had mine (as in asked when I was in hospital had I booked them for the next week).

I second baby cinema, so relaxing as baby will probably just feed or sleep the whole time. We had to stop when ds was about 8 months as he just wouldn't sit through it anymore, it was good while it lasted.

You're not ready for.
Exercising too early will do more harm than good if you do it too early.

Nothing OP, Babies don't 'need' these classes and I doubt it makes any difference.
As for your own gym/fitness, just take it easy. You will lose whatever you need to through BF and baby keeping you active.
Just make sure you don't get isolated or lonely and you will be absolutely fine.

I did baby massage at about 6/7 weeks. Nothing until then. A couple of people I met there I have stayed friends with however. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with?

I'm with you. I actually think all these classes are stimulation overload and the only time my lo would be hard work was when he was overstimulated and so I never bothered with any classes. Plus they cost money and then you feel under pressure not to miss any which causes you stress. Just follow your gut and enjoy your time with your newborn. Honestly, it goes so quick and when they get older (near toddler age) you're forced to go out anyway because they get restless stuck indoors all day! Plenty of time for outings then lol!

Mine all started classes at aged 3-4 years (preschool). They turned out fine and didn't need to be educated on relaxation or alertness.

I went out for at least a walk everyday from when mine was 3 days old. I had a c-section. Didn't go to a single baby class.

I started things like baby massage group at 3 weeks. I didn't have pnd, just an overwhelming need to get out of the house and it was mid-winter. Certainly ds1 was totally oblivious.

It's good to get out of the house for a bit every day even if it's just for a walk or to meet a friend for coffee.
Restart exercise if you wish after your 6 week check or possibly later if you had a more complicated delivery. Keep up with your pelvic floor exercises.
Enjoy those early baby days and don't feel too pressured by anyone.

do what you want, when you want. don't allow yourself to be pressured into anything. i did all those baby classes and wotnot because everyone insisted i should. it would do me good. i actually think trying to keep everyone else happy contributed to my pnd! so whenever someone says 'you should' and it's not in response to a question you've asked, switch off. they're not doing you any favours.

I never went to fitness classes (lost all my pregnancy weight and more through breastfeeding and walking). I did start going to a small number of baby groups fairly early on (started with one free baby rhyme time per week) just because it got me out of the house and gave me a chance to meet other mums. I enjoyed local baby groups but never paid for expensive massage/sensory courses etc

At 4 weeks a lot of baby classes won't let you attend. I think the minimum for baby sensory was 6 weeks.

I do think getting out of the house is important but not here there and everywhere. If you're sat in the house day after day, week after week then that is definitely not healthy.

I tried to get out 4 days a week for at least at hour or so. It's bloody hard going though at first! I did find that if I didn't go out then i would start to feel a bit crappy in myself so for me it was essential.

Classes at such a young age are definitely more for you! I joined baby sensory when my little girl was 8 weeks old and tbh it was a waste for her as she slept through most of the sessions. But it was good for me to get out, and once you're out it's easier to stay out for a while.

I went to a few then just gave up , he was constantly feeding... so I got my self a few box sets on Netflix and then my comfy spot on my rocking chair and relaxed for the first 4 months... I am glad I did as now he is 7 months he is sooo tiring wanting to be into everything 😂

Sorry, I missed the gym and fitness classes. At 4 weeks? Tell them to bugger off! And it's sad that you felt you had to reassure us that you are slim-as if they would have a point if you weren't.