To think this is too much to expect with a 4 week old baby?!

[MotherofKitties]

I just want to see whether people think this is reasonable at this stage and what they did/would expect at this age?

I've had my first baby and she's 4 weeks old. I've had a countless number of people telling me I need to get her to baby classes (baby sensory, massage etc) and get myself out and about to the gym and fitness classes but I think that at 4 weeks that's far too early, or is it not?!

Also with my DH back at work and my DD constantly feeding, all I seem to be able to do all day is feed and change her, I just about managing to keep on top of the house work but I don't even make it out of the house most days!

She's a happy baby, sleeps as you would expect a 4 week old to but is alert and so far doesn't suffer from colic (fingers crossed this continues!) and I'm slim and getting back into some sort of shape purely through Breastfeeding, so I don't know why there's so much expectation to be taking her to classes or hitting the gym so soon, unless this is the norm?

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes? What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?

Just do whatever you want to do.
In my baby days, we'd go out pram pushing, and just go home and coo over our baby.
Tell those sticking their unwanted oar in, that she is too busy, as she is having swimming and ballet lessons ! 😄
You can't ever get these first precious weeks back, just relax, find your feet, and enjoy basking in the love light with your daughter.
Expect to be asked, when is the next one coming along.😂

It does seem like a never ending treadmill in the early days of feed, change, repeat. But I do think it's really important for your mental wellbeing to get out and about and not just stay in all day - that doesn't mean doing organised classes if you don't want to, but I always tried to fit in 20 minutes walk around the park in the fresh air or a trip to a coffee shop which was child-friendly.

If you're spending a lot of time at home just you and baby then it does get isolating. People are just looking out for you.

Too early.
Four weeks was a wretched time with my first dc. Still couldn't having problems with bf, still in pain from my emcs. Just horrible. A really dark period of not knowing what the hell I was doing. Second dc was easier.

I went to the gym at 12 weeks and baby clinic at 2 months then baby groups from month 5.

As others have said, do what suits you! With dc1 I did a class at approx 4 weeks, for 2 months, then no-one until about six months. Never did exercise classes.
Dc2 was 3 days old, but was just tagging along to dc1s class.

The only thing I would say is if you intend to exclusively bf and are at all self conscious about it, you might find classes a "safe" place to start feeding in public. I know a few friends who felt it helped.

at 4 weeks first time around I barely got dressed.

If you want to get out and meet other parents then find a social parent/baby group where you can focus on adult interaction rather than anything which calls itself a class.

I would try to get out a bit each day just for a walk and do your pelvic floor exercises!

At 4 weeks, I considered it a major achievement if I got dressed! A shower was a bonus.

I recall going to a parent and child group with one of them but I think it was dd and she was at least 4 months old. With ds1 I went for a walk if I could but nothing organised.

Don't put yourself under pressure to go to classes. If you do want to go to something, choose a drop-in option rather than something you need to sign up for and pay by the term. That way if you're having a smooth day you can go, if not you don't. Babies don't need classes. The only reason to go would be to meet people and have a bit of support from people at the same stage as you.

I tried going to Tesco during the first few weeks after I'd had DC. First half I was fine as baby slept then I accidentally bumped the pram against a pillar and she woke...& screamed the shop down.

I was so upset and trying to calm her and she wanted to be held which I did which ended up with my pram tipping over as I was putting shopping on the pram handles as I shopped.

I ended up really self conscious and upset and sweating and trying to hurry out of tesco. Then a lovely lady came up to me put the pram upright had a friendly conversation with me told me baby was beautiful and I was doing amazing and how she was utterly delighted hers were all grown up 😂

After that I didn't bother going out alone again. Unless in car with DP or with older DC to help.

The point, do exactly what you want, when you want. Ignore everyone else, do what works for you.

I think a good goal with a 4 week old baby, is a bra on most days.

I started going to a latch on group from 6 weeks which i recommend if you plan to breastfeed long term. You'll realise quite soon how few people breastfeed past 3 months which means you tend to get comments that dont apply to you such as ''he should only be feeding every 4 hours'' ''he needs to learn to hold his own bottle so he cant then feed himself''

I found by 6-8 weeks i had hit a groove and could get myself out of the house for a few hours buts its totally your call on when you do this.

Seb don't pressure OP, we need realistic suggestions for us lazy comfy buggers bras are just an unachievable goal! Haha

I started at about 10 weeks because I was going stir crazy at home! I will say just go when you are ready

They definitely don't need classes at that age unless you want to! I did a baby massage one from around 2 months, then a few drop in bits and pieces as didn't want to commit, and only just signing up for baby sensory now at 8 months. Once they're crawling and awake a lot more then classes can give them a nice change of scene but at 4 weeks I'd embrace the chance to sit snuggle feed and watch box sets!

At 4 weeks postartum with DC1 I was pleased to get showered by 3pm.
Loved baby massage though, but never went to anything else.

With a small baby my favourite activity was going out for breakfast with my sister. I dropped my son off at nursery and then we went for a full english with a cup of tea once a month. I had to be dressed and out anyway but didn't have time for breakfast. The short walk in the pram sent the baby off to sleep again and I usually just had enough time eat my food before him waking to feed again.

Took my ds to a sensory class at 6 wks, he got nothing out of it. Started taking him to a music/sensory type class when he was 3.5 months, he's 4.5 months and actually seems to get something out of it, seems to enjoy seeing other babies and likes the music. However, my hv went on and on at me to go swimming, to buggy walks, baby massage etc I couldn't manage it to start with 1. As I had had an emcs and 2. I was breast feeding and just could not seem to get the time. 4 weeks is early for people to be pressuring you. I have lost most of my pregnancy weight through healthy eating and walking with ds in pram. Take it at your own pace. Plus you're not supposed to exercise til after your post natal check at 6wks. Or at least, that's the advice given up here. Congratulations on your baby!!

I started classes early because OH was working loads and I wanted to meet other mums. Those classes are purely for mums, if you feel you don't need that just yet that's fine. Classes specifically for DS, we started tumble tots at 10 months which he loved and really got something out of, until then it was all for me. TBH though I found all the groups really cliquey and didn't make any friends anyway till I started doing classes for DS like tumble tots and forest school. Right as I was going back to work ironically.

As for the gym, haha chance would be a fine thing, early on DS wouldn't be left with anyone without screaming and later in I just didn't have time.

I never did. Could think of anything I'd rather do less.

You sound exactly where I was at 4 weeks with my first.

When I had the first one, we lived in a fairly remote farmhouse. DH worked a decent drive away, we had one car. I was basically stuck along a farm track from 7am-7pm with no means to even go to get a pint of milk unless I fancied togging me and baby up and trudging up a hill and along a road with no proper pavement for about 40 mins. We also had very few driving friends etc at the time and hardly any visitors!

IT WAS BLISS.

I did make it over to baby weighing in the next village and that was about it, once a fortnight or so

I'm very sociable. But it bothered me not a jot, the time flew past anyway and I basically spent six months pretty much on the sofa, alone in the days with the baby and cats in blissful silence with the laptop. Generally with the baby attached.

OP I reckon one of the most important bits of getting to grips with the life change a baby brings is realising that it works TOTALLY DIFFERENTLY for everyone - and also, it won't matter a jot what you did in those first months/year to anyone but you. Certainly won't make a blind bit of difference to the baby. The only golden rule is do what genuinely makes YOU happy. Then you'll feel better and brighter and generally more relaxed. Sounds like you've found your groove, stick with it.

It all changes so fast anyway!

Motherofkitties my baby is also four weeks and I'm getting nothing done except feeding him and changing him 🙈 so I feel your pain.

I never saw the point of sensory classes unless they were for children with special needs.

Why would a healthy child with no sn need their senses stimulating.

The only thing i can think of that id do is mum and baby yoga. But that's more to help mum get back in shape and baby comes along with you.

Just do what you want to do when you're ready.

I went to NCT new mums group but that was for my benefit.

baby classes were for me not the baby. I was getting cabin fever and needed company.

If you are enjoying being at home with your baby that is lovely keep doing it. Baby is definitely not missing out.

A 4 week old baby needs cuddling and feeding. Personally I stayed home with mine and did just that.

Do what's right for you. There's no rule about it being too early. For some that's okay.

For me it would have been too early though.

I never did baby classes with any of mine as we couldn't afford it. I did one toddler group that was more for a chat and a cuppa that cost me 50p.

Otherwise it was nice walks etc