To think this is too much to expect with a 4 week old baby?!

[MotherofKitties]

I just want to see whether people think this is reasonable at this stage and what they did/would expect at this age?

I've had my first baby and she's 4 weeks old. I've had a countless number of people telling me I need to get her to baby classes (baby sensory, massage etc) and get myself out and about to the gym and fitness classes but I think that at 4 weeks that's far too early, or is it not?!

Also with my DH back at work and my DD constantly feeding, all I seem to be able to do all day is feed and change her, I just about managing to keep on top of the house work but I don't even make it out of the house most days!

She's a happy baby, sleeps as you would expect a 4 week old to but is alert and so far doesn't suffer from colic (fingers crossed this continues!) and I'm slim and getting back into some sort of shape purely through Breastfeeding, so I don't know why there's so much expectation to be taking her to classes or hitting the gym so soon, unless this is the norm?

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes? What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?

I didn't take my daughter to any classes when she was a baby. Why? Because babies don't need classes, they just need their Mums. However, meeting up with other Mums would be good for you but do it when you are ready, and do whatever you want to do. Good luck

Classes for a 4 week old? Has the world gone mad?

I think kids are just about really ready for activities at four years old.

Instead of classes go out for coffee/cake with your friend. Enjoy yourself for a while rather than having to sit and follow baby massage/swimming instructions!

My walks into town to meet friends kept me sane. If I'd had to follow instructions in a boring class instead, it would have tipped me over the edge.

MotherofKitties do whatever you feel ready for - ignore advice. By way of example:
I quite like getting out of house & found it helped. Combi-feeding helped here from 3 days in, but not for everyone. I would take DS out to local shops & cafes 10 mins down road & meet NCT mum friends from Antenatal class for coffee mornings / picnicd (i lived in Windsor at time, so things to do & tyke was born in April, so ideal for getting out).
Started postnatal class at 8 weeks & our group of mum friends became even bigger - we were so lucky & postnatal trainer really helped us feel confident (she even ran a baby sign class for us as a one-off at one of the mums houses, as the provision in Berks was 0 at the time). Started hartbeeps (bit like baby sensory) round 3/4 months old, swimming round 6 months (very pricey, did only a term - now we take tyke swimming ourselves) & actually baby sensory class round 6 months too - still have couple friends from there & swimming. No longer local - now in Chepstow, Monmouthshire Wales, working f/t & don't drive so is pants by comparison. Moved here a year ago & tyke will be 2.5 years in Oct.
Really i mostly baked, did coffee & did classes i liked best, when affordable. And i never worried bout housework - did what i could when i could & that was enough. Even worse now - need to hire a cleaner, now hubby finally has f/t work again starting this month (he is more parent/carer than house-husband ☺)!!
Don't let anyone pressure you, be yourself mummy & congratulations! Its the most fab "job" there is. Mat leave the best - mine lasted 9 months (too short IMO 😉)

2 caveats :

1. I signed up as volunteers social sec for NCT down here - early this year. Bit of commitment, as live all over (Monmouth, Tintern, etc.) but i have made some new friends & everything not just work.
2. Baby sign language was pushed for by one of the mums as she was keen to take the course & become a childminder or similar (now she works in pallative care after another private course & loves life - she used to be in admin), DS / tyke can still sign: bottle, change nappy & plane (lived under heathrow nearly 1.5, so he loves planes); even though he can talk now, is dropping bottles & hates having nappy changed. So was useful when he couldn't talk & will be great when we're out while he's potty training (I hope).

From someone with an 8 week old you can do whatever you want! Personally i've been going to a 0-6 months group at the childrens' centre since three weeks and i'm starting baby swimming next week. I also meet up with a friend who has a 10 month old every week or so for a coffee or a walk with the buggies. Pushing myself to be places at certain times and get us both out of the house has made me much more confident in myself. It's also nice to speak to other women going through similar.

I also wanted to go early as i would find it easier meeting brand new mums with similar aged babies, than waiting until he was older and trying to make friends with people who had already been friends for a while iyswim. A bit like being the new kid at school rather than being there from the start!

I started going to Baby and toddler groups when my baby was four weeks - would have gone earlier but everything was closed for Christmas! They were a lifesaver for me as I had PND and hated being at home with my baby. But all they involved was turning up at a church hall, putting baby in a sling (most groups have a buggy park) and then sitting with other mums whilst people brought me cups of tea!

I thought baby classes were an expensive waste of time. They were around £10 a session and only an hour, whereas baby/toddler groups were £1.50 for at least two hours and still did the same things as the classes?!

Do what works for you and don't feel pressurised into doing something you're not ready for or don't need.

And still very close with Windsor NCT mum crew & many from my jobs round Berks & Bucks b4 we moved (worked for Connexions, Two FE colleges & Royal Holloway b4 moving here - probably outing myself there, but hy ho).

Oh yes & I havd never "done" the gym. More of a swimming, yoga type myself. Didn't start b4, not starting now i have tyke. So what if i'm 10 stone, instead of 8 stone i was - I'm 41 wiv a 2 year old, I'll be fit enough.

I hardly went out with my babies apart from popping to the shops and back. Have never been to any classes with any of mine. Never went to the gym either. Went to toddler groups when they started walking though.
Don't feel guilty about staying in!

You don't need to do anything at all. Stay home, go out, it's whatever suits you. I personally would go stir crazy so was out walking the dog the next day and we started sensory massage ect around 3weeks but that's me. It's not everyones cup of tea and that's fine. My motto is happy mum happy baby

In my experience, the people who offer such "advice" or tell you what you "should" be doing are really looking for validation on the decisions they made as parents.

What really matters is how you feel right now. It sounds like what you are doing is working for you. I was the same at 4 weeks and maybe ventured out on small errands (a 10 min walk to the post office was a win!).

I thought I'd hate baby classes, but I loved them. Started as soon as I got him home.
I remember complaining that they wouldn't let me do the baby massage classes until his 6 week jabs were done. Bearing in mind the child was 7 weeks EARLY, WTAF was I doing taking him to baby massage!

With DD1 we didn't go to any actual classes etc until she was about 6months old. With DD2 we stared going to hartbeeps (baby sensory) at 6 weeks and loved it. I wish I'd taken my eldest when they were younger as they enjoy it so much now. Having said that I absolutely loved all the time DD1 and I had just the two of us when she was that age as well.

Do what ever feels right for you.

I was doing pretty similar to you when my LO was 4 weeks old.

Took them to baby swimming classes when they were around 4 or 5 months old but otherwise didn't really bother with 'baby classes', it just wasn't my thing and I preferred to go for walks in the park or meet up for lunch with various friends/work colleagues etc.

But just do what feels right for you, there are no rules about when you should be doing what.

I did waterbabies with my DS when he was 8 weeks old but nothing else till he was 6 months old.

If you are happy just ignore everyone suggesting you have to get out.. The baby market is a massive and it is about making money.

I run playgroups and they are as much for the mum as they are for the children. It can be lonely! But, if you are happy, keep doing what you are doing.

Congratulations on your baby! X

I thought I should get out everyday and put myself under so much pressure to do baby sensory, swimming, etc. classes in the first few months. I was exhausted! In the past 6 months I've only been going to other mums' house from my NHS antenatal group (we didn't talk to eachother during the classes but set up a Whatsapp after). I'm much more relaxed and don't feel my baby is missing out at all. My MIL is really worried about me being isolated but I'm much happier! Some Mums need to do the classes but some of us genuinely prefer their own company.