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Original poster

To think this is too much to expect with a 4 week old baby?!

192 replies

MotherofKitties · 03/09/2017 08:39

I just want to see whether people think this is reasonable at this stage and what they did/would expect at this age?

I've had my first baby and she's 4 weeks old. I've had a countless number of people telling me I need to get her to baby classes (baby sensory, massage etc) and get myself out and about to the gym and fitness classes but I think that at 4 weeks that's far too early, or is it not?!

Also with my DH back at work and my DD constantly feeding, all I seem to be able to do all day is feed and change her, I just about managing to keep on top of the house work but I don't even make it out of the house most days!

She's a happy baby, sleeps as you would expect a 4 week old to but is alert and so far doesn't suffer from colic (fingers crossed this continues!) and I'm slim and getting back into some sort of shape purely through Breastfeeding, so I don't know why there's so much expectation to be taking her to classes or hitting the gym so soon, unless this is the norm?

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes? What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?

OP posts:
museumum · 03/09/2017 13:51

Do what suits you. I'd have gone mad in the house alone for weeks on end. I chose baby swimming, post natal Pilates and buggy fit but that was purely as it's what I enjoy doing. I'm not even very slim but I like being active and had an easy recovery after birth.

Other people I know did non-active classes or baby/mum coffee morning type hang-outs.

If you're happy in your own company your baby really doesn't care.

Batteriesallgone · 03/09/2017 13:54

4 weeks! Shock

With my first this kind of pressure from other people pushed me into PND. My relationships with some individuals never recovered from the ceaseless pressure to fit into their expectations of motherhood. I can't say this empathically enough - FUCK THAT.

You have just made a baby. Do whatever the fuck YOU want to do. All baby wants is to be close to a happy mum. Looking after yourself can mean fitness it can mean Netflix, just do whatever you want to do as long as baby is fed and changed you are winning Grin

Queenofthestress · 03/09/2017 14:35

Groups won't let you in without vaccines either way!

FelicityFucknickle · 03/09/2017 14:38

Groups won't let you in without vaccines either way!
Not so

kaytee87 · 03/09/2017 14:57

Groups won't let you in without vaccines either way!

Well that's just untrue, I've never once been asked if my son is vaccinated (he is) and I've gone to lots of things with him.

Tensecondrule · 03/09/2017 15:01

Bloody hell I hardly left the house for weeks let alone went to the gym 😂 It was as much as I could do to get showered, put on clean clothes and keep the baby fed. Just carry on with what you're doing and do what you want, when you want to!

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/09/2017 15:16

everyone is different

i made sure i got dressed and showered every day, at 3w i attended an 'easter party, and 4w an 80th party

went to m&t around 6w for my sanity, dd slept there but i met mums and one who lives near me which is nice so we meet regularly

baby massage (free course) and music (free) at local childrems centre around 8w

dd is now 5mths and we do/see someone/something every day

but as i said we are all different, no one is right or wrong, its what is wrong fr mum and baby

but never go to the gym

hibbledobble · 03/09/2017 15:29

I was out and about from the get go, but I have had easy babies and labours. Going out is mainly for your benefit, as being stuck inside alone all day can be lonely.

Entirely up to you what you want to do. If you want to mooch around in pj's all day then go for it!

Original poster
MotherofKitties · 03/09/2017 17:07

Some of these have really made me laugh; thank you!!

Today I managed to do my hair and makeup for the first time since our little one arrived, mainly because we had lots of visitors round this afternoon, and I'm counting that (i.e. doing something other than shoving my unbrushed hair in a bun) as a win!

I have been firmly in the 'sofa, pjs and Netflix' camp for the last week after initially pushing myself too far in the first couple of weeks which made my stitches and various other things a lot worse, so seeing everyone's replies makes me feel a lot more relaxed about not feeling like I'm being lazy by not doing more!

Thank you for sharing all your experiences and for all your good wishes SmileFlowers

OP posts:
Sashkin · 03/09/2017 17:44

I did find it helpful to get out of the house every day. DS also slept much better after a trip out - but that meant "quick walk up to the shops/park with DS in a sling, at a time of my choosing", not a packed schedule of classes.

I did do a weekly country walk with him from about week 4, but that was for myself. I'd been on bedrest for two months and I wanted to get my stamina back. It wasn't for weight loss, I just didn't like feeling wobbly and weak. DS spent most of the walks asleep in the sling.

I started postnatal pilates at 12 weeks - DS slept through it but it was nice for me to socialise with other mums. I found it really hard to get out of the house on time though! It gets easier.

Started swimming at about 20 weeks - I would have started earlier because I love swimming myself, but when I tried at 12 weeks he got cold really quickly and cried, so I left it for a bit.

Starting baby sensory at six months because he's only recently started to take a real interest in inanimate objects - last term he would just look at me baffled, like "why are you waving that thing in my face?".

Do stuff for yourself though - DH takes DS every Saturday morning so I can go for a run and get a coffee on my own. I adore DS but having two hours completely to myself is bliss.

twinklestar2 · 03/09/2017 18:35

Went back to the gym at 9 weeks but very sporadically. First baby class was baby massage at 4 months.

Imaginosity · 03/09/2017 18:38

The purpose of those classes is really to give you a chamce to socialise with other people who are in the same boat while on maternity leave. You can go from a few weeks old or a few months - or not bother at all if its not your thing. Your baby won't care either way.

BigBerta · 03/09/2017 18:44

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes?
Never took my DD to classes, dont know anyone that did.

What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?
Whatever you feel comfortable/up to doing. Little walks outside perhaps. Dont let anyone dictate to you.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 03/09/2017 19:12

My first couple of months were spent recovering from birth and SPD. First time I didn't drive until 8 weeks partly because I hadn't driven in the final weeks of pregnancy so wanted to feel pretty human first. Even after the VBAC, it was a month before I felt physically capable of sitting in a driver's seat and not on a special cushion and frozen sweetcorn, so my early social life revolved mainly around medical check-ups.

I started a buggy fit class at 10 weeks as it got me out of the house and for a sociable walk. Baby was happy napping in the pram.
Other groups and classes were around about 4 months onwards as he became more alert.

Classes/groups certainly aren't compulsory, but they can be stimulating to babies as they get more conscious of their surroundings, and they can give structure to your week which can be handy at varying the feed/ play/ sleep loop each day. They can also be useful for plugging a social gap. I suspect that people with a busy diary of baby activities after a month are the minority though!

MagicMoneyTree · 03/09/2017 19:18

I signed up to every class going at about 8 weeks. Baby didn't give a crap, I just wanted to make sure I had plenty to do. Soon found myself pissed off with so many obligations and eventually we settled at the occasional parent and baby group type thing whenever I felt like it. The people telling you you "need" to attend baby classes are either the ones trying to sell them or the ones who've been brainwashed into thinking they're essential. By all means go if you think it'll help you get out and about (many offer free taster sessions) but your tiny newborn isn't going to miss out because you didn't sign them up to classes at 4 weeks old. Strapping in for the frequent feeding sounds about right to me. Keep up the good work! :)

JemmyBloocher · 03/09/2017 19:23

I've had five babies and before six weeks I did nothing but boobing and changing nappies. After this I'd go for a short jog a few times a week just to get myself moving. Don't feel like you need to do anything. You and baby come first. Rest. Breathe deeply. This is a short time. Before you know it baby will be an obstreperous toddler and you'll be desperate for different entertainment!

Whippetmamma · 03/09/2017 19:36

I still haven't been to any classes/groups with my 4mo, and probably won't, he has lots of cousins and some of our friends are just starting families too so he will still get interaction from other kids once he starts toddling. didn't go to the gym beforehand but was a keen runner and just starting that again now in the evenings once DH is home. I didn't leave the house much to begin with as seemed to be feeding constantly and DS is a bit of a Velcro baby lol, but the past month we have been out most days, whether it's to the shops, walking the dog or going to see family. Horses for courses and Rach to their own :-)

Whippetmamma · 03/09/2017 19:36

*each to their own

howthelightgetsin · 03/09/2017 19:39

If you want to do classes, do look for them now. Not because a 4 week old should be at classes - God no - but because most of them have terms, so you will start September or Jan for instance, not in between. You can then decide if you want to start going early or later.
For what it's worth, I didn't leave the house just me and baby for the first six months. Looking back, I'm glad I had that time to establish breastfeeding and things on the comfort of my own sofa.

howthelightgetsin · 03/09/2017 19:40

Six weeks!!! I didn't stay in for six months.

Ttbb · 03/09/2017 19:41

That's ridiculous. At this age these class only serve to socialise parents.

Idontevencareanymore · 03/09/2017 19:46

Imo classes are a personal preference.
I didnt bother with either of mine because that's not my thing but I know mums that enrolled in everything going from birth.

They may be concerned you're shutting yourself away? It's important for me in these early days to get out at least once a day because of cabin fever and isolation, others prefer no visitors and nesting indoors.
Whatever works for you op.

ijustwannadance · 03/09/2017 19:47

I didn't go to any classes with DD1 and don't intend to this time. Not arsed about sitting around talking about nothing but babies thanks.

Go of and when you want. It is purely optional. Babies don't NEED any of it.

EmmaJR1 · 03/09/2017 19:53

I went to baby sensory at 5 weeks and he slept through the whole thing but the coffee and chat afterwards was nice!

As for the gym and exercise- F&%# that! Have these people who are suggesting this actually had a baby?

Overworrier · 03/09/2017 21:26

Congratulations, OP!

I did everything (swimming, sensory, massage etc etc) with DD when she was teenytiny & now that she almost 3, I am really regretting all of that.

I should have just sat, cuddled and enjoyed her. On my own. The 2 of us. I don't get that now & it feels like I have missed the boat.

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