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Original poster

To think this is too much to expect with a 4 week old baby?!

192 replies

MotherofKitties · 03/09/2017 08:39

I just want to see whether people think this is reasonable at this stage and what they did/would expect at this age?

I've had my first baby and she's 4 weeks old. I've had a countless number of people telling me I need to get her to baby classes (baby sensory, massage etc) and get myself out and about to the gym and fitness classes but I think that at 4 weeks that's far too early, or is it not?!

Also with my DH back at work and my DD constantly feeding, all I seem to be able to do all day is feed and change her, I just about managing to keep on top of the house work but I don't even make it out of the house most days!

She's a happy baby, sleeps as you would expect a 4 week old to but is alert and so far doesn't suffer from colic (fingers crossed this continues!) and I'm slim and getting back into some sort of shape purely through Breastfeeding, so I don't know why there's so much expectation to be taking her to classes or hitting the gym so soon, unless this is the norm?

At what age did you start taking your baby to classes? What should I be aiming to do/achieve at 4 weeks other than feeding her, changing her etc?

OP posts:
Daydreamerbynight · 03/09/2017 21:30

I went to my first baby group when LO was four weeks, but mainly because there was a breastfeeding counsellor there and I needed help and advice.

BackforGood · 03/09/2017 21:31

I didn't go to any classes with any of my 3 either. They all seem to have survived this deprivation and turned out as fine, upstanding, friendly, articulate, sociable and funny young adults.

Sayyouwill · 03/09/2017 21:47

Now isn't a bad time to start looking at classes with a view to start in a few months. Figure out when term times are, what's required of the baby eg do they need to be able to sit etc and whether there will be classes up until your return to work (if you are).
I got into classes too late and then all my local classes stopped over the summer which left he high and dry for my last month or so before returning to work.

I also found classes that were very local, and helped me with future things like weaning (messy play was fab for this).

As I say, now is probably a good time to start thinking about it, but no rush!

londonrach · 03/09/2017 22:11

Congratulations. You do as much or as little are you want and just enjoy these weeks. I personally found baby groups amazing due to support you get. Everyone is tried etc so we all supported each other with ideas how to cope, things to do and sometimes a shoulder to cry on. I really think these groups are the reason i didnt get pnd when due to family history i should have. But going to groups or classes is a personal thing.

Sashkin · 03/09/2017 22:17

Some people do genuinely enjoy exercise... I was ecstatically happy to get back to swimming and running again. It wasn't for weight loss.

YellowFlower201 · 03/09/2017 22:20

I could barely walk let alone hit the gym at 4 weeks! Confused
We started doing baby massage when my lo was 7 weeks or so. Never did sensory classes. He's turning out just fine... just do what you're comfortable with. It took me a while to adjust to everyone's 'helpful' advice. You'll soon learn to ignore it.

Louiselouie0890 · 03/09/2017 22:21

I went back to work when my l.o turned 5 weeks old I decided to walk back and to too save time at the gym loose some weight (I am overweight) but I was ready it was nobody else's decision but mine. There's no right or wrong do what fits best with you and your family and tell the others to mind there own business. At 4 weeks old just sitting in your living room is amazing to a 4 week old. There's a hell of a lot of interesting things for them. There's no rush x

oldlaundbooth · 03/09/2017 22:29

At four weeks I was out and about to shops etc. Cabin fever otherwise.

Haven't done baby groups with second DC as I CBA. Did them with first DS when I had more time.

bookclubbaby · 03/09/2017 22:37

I have a non sleeper so i didn't feel able to commit to any groups till he was one !
I would say a good time is when and if YOU are ready. In the first year I struggled with bf on demand and getting him down for naps in between school drop offs and picks ups and cooking for my other children - there was no way I could have committed to a group on top of all that and the relentless night shifts with him . with two easier going dds before him , I enjoyed taking them starting around 7-9 months .

upaladderagain · 03/09/2017 22:47

The only thing you 'should' do with a four week old baby is keep it fed, warm, safe and loved. Anything outside of that is for you to decide suits you and your family, not fit others to prescribe. Be kind to yourself, it's a strange SMS bewildering time

welshbutenglish · 04/09/2017 17:31

Do whatever you feel like doing OP. This is the time to devote to you and your new baby - congratulations by the way! There can be quite a lot of pressure to 'get out and about' and go to all the baby classes, but its really not necessary - sounds like you're doing absolutely fine and I promise your baby isn't going to be missing out on anything. Enjoy these first few months, they go very quickly. Good luck Smile

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2017 17:35

I started baby groups at 3 weeks (rhyme time at the library and A mums and baby coffee morning). I went as it was nice to meet new friends and breastfeed in a different environment!

clarkl2 · 04/09/2017 17:42

Do you makes you feel happy, not what makes other people happy.

Turquoise123 · 04/09/2017 17:49

Baby classes seemed a waste of time for me at best and at worst a source of competition.

If weather is good a nice walk with the buggy a v pleasant way to spend afternoon.

FirstTimeMum07 · 04/09/2017 18:07

I didn't really get involved in any groups until DS was 3 months old, i took him to the library a couple of times before then, but only really joined baby sensory groups and playgroup when he was about 3 months old, when you feel ready to go, you'll go out, don't let anybody pressure you before you are ready x

Lovelymess · 04/09/2017 18:07

Carry on as you are Smile sounds perfect.

Lovelymess · 04/09/2017 18:08

TBH I don't see the point of all these Baby's groups until they're about 9 months onwards

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/09/2017 18:10

Babies who do not have disabilities or developmental delay do not need classes of any sort.
They were designed to support the development of children with SN and it has been assumed that if they can help disabled kids they will be extra helpful for typically developing children.
Child development doesn't work like that.

Classes are good if the parent wants to get out and about and meet other parents in a slightly more structured environment. They can also be great for bonding if there are issues in that area. A newborn won't care where they are as long as they are warm and fed.

If you enjoy them the won't do any harm but you shouldn't feel pressured into arranging class based sensory activities for a new born.

pollymere · 04/09/2017 18:18

Any day when you actually get dressed and leave the house is a win until about eight weeks! I've still managed to produce a child who passed the eleven plus without baby classes! If you feel bad, interact with your baby yourself!

Craigie · 04/09/2017 18:29

Ignore everyone and stay in IF YOU ARE HAPPY. Spending money on entertaining a baby is a total waste, and getting a good eating & sleeping routine is far more beneficial. When you're ready, find a baby & toddler group - low cost and a great place to meet other mums, have a cup of tea & a chat. Wait until your child is older until you get involved in "classes".

NameChange30 · 04/09/2017 18:50

Some PPs are being really unnecessarily negative about baby classes. They are by no means essential, and of course if you're not interested that's fine, but they're not pointless for babies and full of bitchy competitive mums either Hmm

I don't like being stuck at home. DS also seems to enjoy the stimulation when we go out. For the first 4-6 weeks I did very little, but once I'd recovered a bit and got more into the swing of things, I started going out more. I try and do something most days, whether it's just going for a walk, meeting a friend for lunch or coffee, doing one or two errands, or - God forbid! - attending a baby group.

My advice is to register with your local children's centre and get a copy of their activity programme and/or follow their Facebook page if they have one. My children's centre runs lots of free and low-cost trial sessions and courses. It's a great way to try things out and see if you and baby enjoy them before signing up for a block of classes. We've done:

  • baby massage, good for younger babies IMO (maybe 2-4 months?)
  • baby yoga, good for most ages
  • sing and sign, tried this when DS was 5 months and he LOVED it, even though he's still too young to sign he really enjoyed the songs. So I reckon it's good any time from about 4 months
  • baby sensory, this is hugely stimulating and probably a bit too much for babies under 3-4 months. DS has enjoyed it since about 5 months and will probably enjoy it more as he gets older.
NameChange30 · 04/09/2017 18:52

I forgot swimming - I tried a couple and found it a massive faff although DS did enjoy it. Again I reckon it'd be better from about 3-4 months.

But as I said none are essential! Just a good idea if you are stuck for what on earth to do with yourself and a baby 5 days a week Wink

MsJudgemental · 04/09/2017 18:53

As long as you are happy, just do what you want. If you are happy at home, do that. When you feel that you need to start getting out and about, do it. As others have said, classes at this age are for the parents not for the babies. Flowers

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2017 18:55

"TBH I don't see the point of all these Baby's groups until they're about 9 months onwards"

I think you're missing the point. They aren't for the baby- they are so you can meet people and have a lovely church volunteer lady make you a cup of tea and coo over your baby.

NoPressureNoDiamonds · 04/09/2017 19:18

You're doing housework with a 4 week old?!?!?! Wow.

What is expected of you right now? Keep yourself and your baby alive. That is all.

Groups are good from about 4 months I reckon. Gym? Up to you. A year? Never? It's personal.

Well done you're doing great xx

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