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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for not wanting to stop over at my in-laws?

262 replies

Lauraw1989 · 02/09/2017 16:09

Hi Ladies,

My MIL thinks I'm being unreasonable because I don't want to stop over at her house (who are a 20 minute drive away) with my 1 month year old baby so my hubby don't have to drive and he can stay up with them and have a few drinks.

We have a house cat so I worry about him being on his own overnight. Plus I just want to be in my own bed and to put my baby asleep in my own house.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 02/09/2017 16:26

*don't

VimFuego101 · 02/09/2017 16:27

YANBU to want to sleep in your own home/ bed with a tiny baby, but I don't understand why your partner can't drop you off or why you can't drive/ get a taxi. It's only 20 mins, not an international flight.

Mrscropley · 02/09/2017 16:27

He should be supporting his dp getting a good sleep before getting alcohol down his neck. .

Kintan · 02/09/2017 16:28

I wouldn't have been keen to stay anywhere when my baby was a month old so I don't think you are being unreasonable in that respect. I do think it's unreasonable if you didn't 'allow' your DP to stay up and have a few drinks with his parents though so why not get a taxi home either with your DP or just with the baby?

Bluntness100 · 02/09/2017 16:29

He should be supporting his dp getting a good sleep before getting alcohol down his nec

Are you trolling? Or being goady for the shits and giggles. Or sarcastic? I can't work out which of the three options it is. Because you can't be serious, that's for sure.

Original poster
Lauraw1989 · 02/09/2017 16:30

I can't drive no.

My MIL is obsessed with having my DS over night she brought a cot when I was pregnant even though I told her we wasn't planning to stop over.

I do let my DH go out for gigs and drinks after the football I also offered they can come over to see us at our house so he is free to drink with them.

And yes their house is a junk tip it takes you 10 minutes to find everything to make a cup of tea.

OP posts:
LuLuuuuuuu · 02/09/2017 16:30

Oh ffs
Poor sod .. Give him a break .

As for He should be supporting his dp etc . .Unclench FFS

PuppyMonkey · 02/09/2017 16:31

Can they come to yours instead?

teaandtoast · 02/09/2017 16:31

YANBU.

LuLuuuuuuu · 02/09/2017 16:31

You "let" your DH go out ?

Bully for you . . Christ some of the DPs on here are so controlling.

PuppyMonkey · 02/09/2017 16:32

Oops cross post

GardenGeek · 02/09/2017 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 02/09/2017 16:32

He drops you home then goes back. Sorted.

Flicketyflack · 02/09/2017 16:32

Why not leave him and go home when you (and baby!) have had enough. Either drive your car and leave him to get a cab or pick him up tomorrow when he has a hangover!

TittyGolightly · 02/09/2017 16:32

Was bad enough packing all the kit needed for baby to visit in laws 4 hours away when DD was 6 weeks old. No way would I do it for local relatives!

BertrandRussell · 02/09/2017 16:33

"Was bad enough packing all the kit needed for baby to visit in laws 4 hours away when DD was 6 weeks "

Change of clothes and happy changing stuff. .....,

Notreallyarsed · 02/09/2017 16:33

Nobody in a relationship "lets" their partner do anything, that's an odd turn of phrase. If you don't want to go, why can't he drop you and the baby home and then go to his parents'?

Flicketyflack · 02/09/2017 16:34

Sorry just saw you don'6t drive get a cab and leave him to it. You have a one month old baby for god sake. It's up to you but start as you mean to go on if she has bought a cot that's up to them but if you want to go home, go home.

grannytomine · 02/09/2017 16:36

I understood you point of view until I read this I do let my DH go out for gigs and drinks after the football How generous of you, I hope he is truly grateful.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/09/2017 16:36

His mum had her chance to have babies overnight when she had her children. You have the right to sleep in your own bed when you've just had a baby. Why would anyone want to sleep in a tip if they didn't have to?

Augustwashout · 02/09/2017 16:37

i can understand your mil wanting you all to stay so she can play mum again but I can also understand you simply wanting to have your own things around you and how much easier it would be to go home. Get a taxi and go home with baby! leave him!( not for good mind, just the night Wink

happypoobum · 02/09/2017 16:38

YANBU

Are you there now? Order a taxi. It sounds as though this was pre planned so MIL could get her wish of having DS stay overnight. Either DH drops you home and returns or you get a cab/bus.

I am a bloody minded cow and I would walk if necessary.

ParadiseCity · 02/09/2017 16:38

4 weeks after giving birth I wanted my own bed for what little sleep I got. I can't remember when the bleeding stops but I'm pretty sure I remember leaky boobs and general grimness that I wouldn't have wanted to risk sleeping in a guest bed if there was no real need.

BertrandRussell · 02/09/2017 16:38

"i can understand your mil wanting you all to stay so she can play mum again"

Or be a grandma?

TwitterQueen1 · 02/09/2017 16:39

I think you're being unkind in saying your MIL is 'obsessed' with having the baby stay over even though you told her you wouldn't.

Maybe she wants to feel like part of a family. Maybe she would welcome having a relaxed son just chilling out in front of the TV. Maybe she'd like to play a part in helping you look after baby or even just taking a sneaky cuddle.

Sounds to me like she's trying to make you welcome in her house and show you that you are welcome to use it.