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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have rang non-emergency police. DS1 verbally attacked.

306 replies

TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:18

I took DS1 (12) and DS2 (11) to get their school shoes yesterday. We got on the bus and downstairs was busy so went to sit upstairs. We sit at the very back, with my partner.

Two stops later there was a bang on the side of the bus as it pulled up to the stop. I thought someone had been hit as there was shouting. Turns out this young girl had ran at the bus and hit the doors. She was about 12/13 and with a friend of about 14/15 and a boy of the same age.

A few minutes later they come upstairs and are visibly dissapointed that we are at the back.

This girl is SO loud and mouthy. She dramatically runs up the aisle and plonks her self down on the last seat before ours.
She is shouting about how she had stormed out after hitting her dad Hmm and screaming at her friend about 'not being allowed to fucking talk!' She was awful. Everyone on the bus were exchanging glances.

Now my sons don't go places without me. They are very polite and reserved.

My DS was sat behind her, facing my gf as the seats at the back face each other.

Whilst she is hollering and shouting my DS and GF are talking about something completely unrelated and DS laughs.
Next thing I know this girl gets up, comes round the seat and leans down into DS and starts shouting "what the fuck are you laighing about?? You know nothing about my life. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I leaned forwards and put my hand against her shoulder (not pushing her just creating a barrier) and told her to back off and leave him alone.

She then turns on me. She put her face literally ab INCH away from mine and started the same shit with me. My gf stood up and told her to basically piss off and she had brass balls and carried on shouting.

She storms off and sits halfway down the bus and starts shouting about 'people listening into her private conversations'

So I say 'no body wanted to listen to your drama love but you were screaming loud enough for the whole bus to hear and he wasn't laughing at you!"

The bus driver came up and made them go downstairs (the older girl was just laughing the whole time but the older boy did try to control the littler one) He didn't even kick them off the bus!

DS said he was ok but he looked a little shaken and they did say on the way back he hoped she wasn't on the bus home.

Should I have done more? Complained to the driver? Called 101? She was so aggressive and out of order.

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 31/08/2017 16:23

Tbf you also shouted at her when she had gone further down the bus.

Not sure it warrants 101. Maybe complain to the bus company if you really want to.

Not sure what else you eanted the driver to do. They will be reluctant to out a 12/13 year old off a bus.

Whymustyoubringinthebirds · 31/08/2017 16:23

Nah, I doubt that anything would be done or achieved from doing anything else. The driver wouldn't be able to do anything and I don't think the police would care

Original poster
TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:32

I shouted at her because she was still shouting at my son! She moved seats but was shouting 'sone fucking rude peopke and their jumped up little shit kids listening into my conversation. Who do uyou lot think you are??'

She moved but she didn't move and be quiet. She moved and continued to shout at us from down the bus.

When she went down stairs a few people came over and asked if we were ok.

It's hard to portray just how aggressive and loud she was in writing. I was even a bit shook up.

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:33

It's scary to think that she might have started that with Ds alone. I mean if she's not scared of two adults then what would she do to 2 kids alone?

OP posts:
Titanz · 31/08/2017 16:34

Pointless ringing 101 to be honest.

Must have been horrible for you that!

I can say though, that girl has got a shitty home life and/or has had some shit happen to her. That defensiveness you saw when she couldn't cope with the laughter? That reminded me of myself that age. I was alwasy so angry and felt I had to defend myself from everything and I perceived everything as a slight against me so much so I ended up being a volatile angry teen who hated everyone and myself. Mine was because of bullying when I was younger mixed with anger about losing my dad, it made me into a horrible person at that time.

I'm only telling you that because I just thought it might make you feel a bit better in that it wasnt you she was targetting, she just used you as an outlet for her anger. It's not nice for you and your family either way though

Allthelightsgoout · 31/08/2017 16:34

Horrible thing to happen but no, not 101.

Original poster
TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:39

I understand that, I really do. I said the same to DS. That she is an angry, sad little girl with problems but at the same time should she be allowed to behave like that with no consequences?

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 31/08/2017 16:40

I shouted at her because she was still shouting at my son!

I get it. Tbh i probably would have done the same. But 2 people shouting to eachother is an argument.

I get its upsetting. But i dont think its a police matter.

Elephant17 · 31/08/2017 16:44

Sounds awful! Not sure about police but driver should have made them leave the bus, you'd have been right to complain.

I think Titanz could be right, fwiw.

MaisyPops · 31/08/2017 16:46

Upsetting, yes.
Police matter, no.

The way I see it is she may well be uspet and over emotional about a situation, which is awful.
But equally, people who behave like that in public will generally find themselves in a situation sooner or later qhere they aren't the gobbiest, toughest etc and someone will put them in their place.

purpleflower23 · 31/08/2017 16:51

Sounds like a horrible experience - hope your DS is OK. I doubt the police (or bus company for that matter) will do much about it though...

pinkingshears · 31/08/2017 16:55

The Driver CANT make them leave the bus!!!
If he calls 101 the Police won't come out.
He can ask her to leave and get a mouthful of abuse.
If he touches her it is potential assault.
If he 'pulls the bus over' he will get a disciplinary and potentially Police criticism for causing a blockage to traffic.
What do you think the Driver can do, honestly?

Titanz · 31/08/2017 16:58

No one said there shouldn't be consequences, but from who?

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 31/08/2017 16:59

Of course you don't ring the police about being shouted at by a 12 year old. You handle it yourself, just like you did. Well done, I bet it was scary, I hate confrontation.

Blueemeraldagain · 31/08/2017 17:00

I live in London and have seen plenty of people, of all ages and genders, "asked" to leave the bus.
Have also been on buses where the police have attended to remove people who refuse to budge.

carefreeeee · 31/08/2017 17:07

Sounds very unpleasant but just one of those things. Tell your son to put it behind him and not take it personally. It probably won't happen again and the girl clearly has a lot of problems.

She did leave after you shouted at her so it doesn't sound like she was really wanting a fight. If she had persisted in being aggressive it'd be more serious

pinkingshears · 31/08/2017 17:44

Blueemerald
H drives in Edinburgh.
He will ask someone like this to leave but if they won't, they won't.
He has called the Police many a time but they won't come out.
He has had a guy with a gun, kids with knives etc.
Police won't come out. Seriously. Maybe London is different.

Steeley113 · 31/08/2017 17:56

She's a gobby little shitebag but I wouldn't call the police. I'm sure she'll get herself involved with the police enough on her own.

Fruitcocktail6 · 31/08/2017 18:03

pinkingshears

Really? Growing up in London I saw this happen regularly, including stopping the bus and refusing to budge until the person got off.

notgivingin789 · 31/08/2017 18:05

Who cares if the teenager has a shitty home life at the moment ! I went through so much crap in my teens, that didn't warrant me behaving like a total prick to others.

OP, I'm sorry you and your boys went through that but no it's not a police matter. You stood up for your boys, that in itself is enough. I bet that girl is feeling silly now.

Mumof56 · 31/08/2017 18:10

You put your hands on her
You gf stood up (squared upto her) and shouted at her to piss off
You continued to shout after she'd moved away from you

I doubt the police would be interested

Both parties are as bad as each other.

kali110 · 31/08/2017 18:40

The op is not as bad, she was protecting her child from an aggressive gobby girl Confused
Think most people would do tge same.

Our buses frequently refuse to move until people get off.

absolutelynot · 31/08/2017 18:51

no way are you as bad! you were both doing what was best in your parental opinion to protect your child. there is such thing as verbal violence and that is what she was being. people would have more to say I am sure, if you allowed your child to experience that and did nothing in response. Let alone how your son would feel if his protectors casually sat by so as not to cause a fuss. no point ringing 101 though. sorry you had to go through that but dont think twice about doing it again.

grandOlejukeofYork · 31/08/2017 18:52

Should I have done more? Complained to the driver? Called 101? She was so aggressive and out of order

What would the driver do? What would the police do? "Hi, a child shouted at me on the bus today, no I don't know who they are or where they live or anything...."

jjbutt · 31/08/2017 19:06

She didn't assault you or your DS .There is no such offence as 'verbal' assault and she didn't threaten her
On the other hand you DID assault her by putting hands on her