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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have rang non-emergency police. DS1 verbally attacked.

306 replies

TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:18

I took DS1 (12) and DS2 (11) to get their school shoes yesterday. We got on the bus and downstairs was busy so went to sit upstairs. We sit at the very back, with my partner.

Two stops later there was a bang on the side of the bus as it pulled up to the stop. I thought someone had been hit as there was shouting. Turns out this young girl had ran at the bus and hit the doors. She was about 12/13 and with a friend of about 14/15 and a boy of the same age.

A few minutes later they come upstairs and are visibly dissapointed that we are at the back.

This girl is SO loud and mouthy. She dramatically runs up the aisle and plonks her self down on the last seat before ours.
She is shouting about how she had stormed out after hitting her dad Hmm and screaming at her friend about 'not being allowed to fucking talk!' She was awful. Everyone on the bus were exchanging glances.

Now my sons don't go places without me. They are very polite and reserved.

My DS was sat behind her, facing my gf as the seats at the back face each other.

Whilst she is hollering and shouting my DS and GF are talking about something completely unrelated and DS laughs.
Next thing I know this girl gets up, comes round the seat and leans down into DS and starts shouting "what the fuck are you laighing about?? You know nothing about my life. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I leaned forwards and put my hand against her shoulder (not pushing her just creating a barrier) and told her to back off and leave him alone.

She then turns on me. She put her face literally ab INCH away from mine and started the same shit with me. My gf stood up and told her to basically piss off and she had brass balls and carried on shouting.

She storms off and sits halfway down the bus and starts shouting about 'people listening into her private conversations'

So I say 'no body wanted to listen to your drama love but you were screaming loud enough for the whole bus to hear and he wasn't laughing at you!"

The bus driver came up and made them go downstairs (the older girl was just laughing the whole time but the older boy did try to control the littler one) He didn't even kick them off the bus!

DS said he was ok but he looked a little shaken and they did say on the way back he hoped she wasn't on the bus home.

Should I have done more? Complained to the driver? Called 101? She was so aggressive and out of order.

OP posts:
grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 11:23

So you're hoping for someone to beat up a 12 year old. Aren't you a fucking delight?

MrsTrentReznor · 01/09/2017 11:25

You haven't yet told us how reporting someone WITHOUT A NAME OR ADDRESS will be of any fucking use whatsoever?

Oh crap. Is that why they didn't catch the guy that assaulted me? Or the disgusting scum that stole my handbag? I shall request their details in future.

It's about building patterns. If the girl went on to commit an assault later that day, the 2 descriptions might marry up. She got on at a particular bus stop, that pins her down to a neighbourhood, maybe anti social behaviour in that neighbourhood is being reported against someone of that description. Narrows it down to a particular postcode/street/address.
Hooray! An arrest for the assault!
That sort of behaviour doesn't tend to be stand-alone.
Why do you think the police set up sting operations for illegal cars? They get lots of hits on drugs and weapons that way.

PerfectPenquins · 01/09/2017 11:25

I'm hoping someone exactly like her holds a mirror upto her one day and she is put in the place of her victims or should we pay her on the head and say good job? Can't help but think if you have kids they are the joyful thugs out terrorising others while you blindly deny it

PerfectPenquins · 01/09/2017 11:26

*pat her on the head
You seem to have very little co passion and even place blame on ops child in this situation

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 11:28

grandOlejukeofYork,

no You're the delight by defending the actions of a teenage girl and blaming the victim! You've minimised the event because YOU wouldn't be bothered and would just sit there and ignore. Though I imagine if some teen started verbally assaulting you it might be different?

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 11:35

I'm doing no such thing. Have you tried reading the posts before replying to them? I find it helps.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 11:38

MrsTrentReznor

Excellent point! Must try to get the name, address, dob and NI number of the next criminal I might encounter......😂😂😂

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 11:50

You're confusing actual criminals with children on buses. Hmm

MrsTrentReznor · 01/09/2017 11:56

Nope. I'm not confused.
Or do teenagers above the age of criminal responsibility not count until they are adults? Confused

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 11:56

You are confused since you think 12 is a teenager. Hmm

MrsTrentReznor · 01/09/2017 11:58

She didn't give her details remember?

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 11:59

So for all you know she might be under 10.

MrsTrentReznor · 01/09/2017 11:59

She could be a young looking 16 year old! Or an old looking 10 year old!
Either way above the age where she is deemed in law to understand that being a gobby shite on a bus in not really on.

MrsTrentReznor · 01/09/2017 12:01

Why was she unaccompanied then? I think the police might need to know about a feral 10 year old out on public transport mouthing off. They might need to have a chat with the (no doubt feral, mouthy) parents! Grin

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 12:09

Me do think grandOle may be one of said feral parents......

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 12:10

"Me do think" no-one ever taught you to write or think, so who is the feral one? Hmm

Try calling the cops for this, see how far you get.

Titanz · 01/09/2017 12:12

And no sorry not every gobby aggressive cow has a sob story.

Clearly aimed at me, and actually kids don't just end up this aggressive and defensive for no reason. It's not a sob story, its an insight as to why she may be behaving this way and I mentioned it so OP didn't feel like it was a personal thing.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 12:12

The cops?? Are you in America?? God I hope so!

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 12:16

Cops is an english slang term, ffs. From the anglo-saxon verb for catch, grab or capture.

Are you on glue?

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 12:20

No but I'm starting to think you may have some 'issues' yourself if you don't think this girls actions warant attention.

PerfectPenquins · 01/09/2017 12:22

Titanz kids can have very lovely supportive families and still be utter shits thinking they are big and clever to be intimidating and violent it's no excuse I'm afraid. Try working in schools and having these kids square up to teachers and yet they are so hard to chuck out of the school even when they've assaulted other students and staff. These kids need to be shown they are not in charge they are not clever and they need to pack it in before someone gets killed. It takes one punch to kill someone this aggression needs to be stopped and the bullies need to be stood up to. I've know really good parents utterly bereft at the kids behaviour often their peers have the biggest influence at pre teen and teen years

Titanz · 01/09/2017 12:24

^It's about building patterns. If the girl went on to commit an assault later that day, the 2 descriptions might marry up. She got on at a particular bus stop, that pins her down to a neighbourhood, maybe anti social behaviour in that neighbourhood is being reported against someone of that description. Narrows it down to a particular postcode/street/address.
Hooray! An arrest for the assault!^

Or you'll spend 40 minutes on hold to 101, have to explain that a 13 year old shouted at you on the bus but you dont have the foggiest who she is, it'll be logged and forgotten about because this isn't The Bill.

I'm not saying what she did isn't wrong, she's a little gobshite, but it's just a waste of police time.

Titanz · 01/09/2017 12:28

perfect Obviously not all nasty kids have had bad lives, but I'm telling you that level of defensiveness and violence doesn't come from nowhere. Something causes kids to act like that. This isn't just sly bullying and popularity contest, this is a girl who was extremely defensive and that stems from something. That isn't innate.

All the rest I'm not going to answer because I've not once said they don't need dealing with, I'm just offering an insight so OP doesn't feel worse and like they did something wrong to receive such treatment.

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 12:30

Titanz kids can have very lovely supportive families and still be utter shits thinking they are big and clever to be intimidating and violent it's no excuse I'm afraid

Of course they CAN but they usually DON'T. Young kids that behave like that usually have serious issues and not good home lives. But hey, why care about that when you can rant on about "little shits" and make yourself feel good?

MrsTrentReznor · 01/09/2017 12:37

Sorry, I don't watch the bill.
Where I live the police take anti social behaviour quite seriously.