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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have rang non-emergency police. DS1 verbally attacked.

306 replies

TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:18

I took DS1 (12) and DS2 (11) to get their school shoes yesterday. We got on the bus and downstairs was busy so went to sit upstairs. We sit at the very back, with my partner.

Two stops later there was a bang on the side of the bus as it pulled up to the stop. I thought someone had been hit as there was shouting. Turns out this young girl had ran at the bus and hit the doors. She was about 12/13 and with a friend of about 14/15 and a boy of the same age.

A few minutes later they come upstairs and are visibly dissapointed that we are at the back.

This girl is SO loud and mouthy. She dramatically runs up the aisle and plonks her self down on the last seat before ours.
She is shouting about how she had stormed out after hitting her dad Hmm and screaming at her friend about 'not being allowed to fucking talk!' She was awful. Everyone on the bus were exchanging glances.

Now my sons don't go places without me. They are very polite and reserved.

My DS was sat behind her, facing my gf as the seats at the back face each other.

Whilst she is hollering and shouting my DS and GF are talking about something completely unrelated and DS laughs.
Next thing I know this girl gets up, comes round the seat and leans down into DS and starts shouting "what the fuck are you laighing about?? You know nothing about my life. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I leaned forwards and put my hand against her shoulder (not pushing her just creating a barrier) and told her to back off and leave him alone.

She then turns on me. She put her face literally ab INCH away from mine and started the same shit with me. My gf stood up and told her to basically piss off and she had brass balls and carried on shouting.

She storms off and sits halfway down the bus and starts shouting about 'people listening into her private conversations'

So I say 'no body wanted to listen to your drama love but you were screaming loud enough for the whole bus to hear and he wasn't laughing at you!"

The bus driver came up and made them go downstairs (the older girl was just laughing the whole time but the older boy did try to control the littler one) He didn't even kick them off the bus!

DS said he was ok but he looked a little shaken and they did say on the way back he hoped she wasn't on the bus home.

Should I have done more? Complained to the driver? Called 101? She was so aggressive and out of order.

OP posts:
notanotherNC · 31/08/2017 19:23

You can't call the police because you had an argument on the bus!!! Regardless if you think you were in the right!

Original poster
TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 19:27

I assaulted her by not allowing her to shove herself into my sons face whilst screaming profanities and threatening him? Assault is placing an outstretch arm stopping someone from possibly physically attacking a child?

Sure because if some deranged girl ran at your kids on a bus doing that you would take a step back and just see what her intention was? Just see if she was unhinged enough to hit him? Stab him?Of course you would Hmm

I could have assaulted her if I weren't such a calm person. But i told her to sit down and simply stopped her having the opportunity to physically attack my son and if I thought for a second she was going to I would have restrained her. And i suppose THAT would be assault too?

Its this kind of mentality that gets criminals a slap on the wrist and victims a criminal record.

Do you think I would have ANY reason to put my outstretched arm inbetween her and my son if she hadn't come over screaming at him? Ffs

OP posts:
Plink42 · 31/08/2017 19:34

To Twomummypigs

Think u did the right thing-if sum teenage girl was screaming in my child's face I would do exactly the same.
Who gives a shit where she comes from or what's happened to her-it's your child your concerned about.
All these would be isocial workers on here would have done the same if happened to them.
It's not assault if u put ure arm between your child & the vile teenager who was swearing in his face.

grandOlejukeofYork · 31/08/2017 19:35

No, we wouldn't have done the same, actually.

This is a CHILD. Don't congratulate yourself for not slapping a child.

Fekko · 31/08/2017 19:44

Think if it as a life lesson for your kids. I used to see/hear this my my bus route quite a lot - same mouthy kids, same bloody boring stories and dramas, same crap.

People like that are just desperate to cause a scene or grab attention. Ignore and dont make eye contact. I even had one who thought it would be funny to try to put her hand into my handbag then say 'I nevvah!!!!!'.

Allthelightsgoout · 31/08/2017 19:53

You didn't say she threatened him. You said she shouted at him that he didn't know anything about her life etc etc. Did she say she was going to hit him or something?

Walkingdead11 · 31/08/2017 20:02

Gobby little bitch!! Sorry OP but you didn't assault her 😂😂😂😂that is frankly ridiculous to suggest that you did. Police won't do anything but never feel bad for protecting your child.....

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 31/08/2017 20:05

Not nice but on Mumsnet people seem ready to call 101 for the slightest little thing. A week or so ago it was a car not stopping at traffic lights.

Fekko · 31/08/2017 20:06

I've only ever called them when I saw a broken basement window on an empty house hat was being renovated.

Original poster
TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 20:07

She said 'do you even know who I am? I'll knock your lights out'

So i wasn't going to let her try and come good on that.

And I would NEVER have slapped her. Where did you read that?? I said if she hit my son I would have RESTRAINED her.

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 20:09

And I didn't ring the police.

It's just sat here now I'm wondering if she has form for this type of thing.

When I called 101 for a stolen bike they told me that they prefer people to ring because it can help build a picture of something bigger, even if it's small.

Hie do I know she isn't know to police for attacking kids on buses or assaulting people?

OP posts:
GahBuggerit · 31/08/2017 20:11

Tbh you putting a hand on her shoulder is worse imo. If she's that aggressive she could have thumped you.

How would you have called 101 about her? Restrained her?

Yabu, forget and move on

Walkingdead11 · 31/08/2017 20:17

Actually I would report it to the non emergency number as it may flag it up if she's done it before or if she's under SS. She needs to learn that is unnacceptable behaviour and we the public do not have to tolerate it. I've told a gang of girls who were screaming their heads off to shut up or I'd remove them....I think they knew I meant it cos they shut up!! Loads of anti social behaviour on buses these days, time for the adults to step up I think!

grandOlejukeofYork · 31/08/2017 20:18

Actually I would report it to the non emergency number as it may flag it up if she's done it before or if she's under SS

And how would it do that without a name and address?
Hmm

TheWartyOne · 31/08/2017 20:19

I dont think the OP did anything wrong. What was she meant to do, just stand back and watch someone scream in her child's face?

How is gently placing your hand on someone to make them aware of your presence assault? That must mean tapping someone on the shoulder and saying "excuse me" when asking for directions is assault too.

GahBuggerit · 31/08/2017 20:22

Antisocial behaviour like acting like a thug yourself and threatening to physically remove a group of girls?

How exactly would SS know who op is talking about? Confused

tigerdriverII · 31/08/2017 20:22

Did you say that your 11 and 12 year old DSs don't go places without you? That seems a bit odd

I do feel for you but isn't this just one of those shit happens moments? Nothing you can do now.

GruffaloPants · 31/08/2017 20:24

"Police? I'd like to report an incident."
"Yes madam."
"A child shouted at me and my son and told me to stop eavesdropping, even though I wasn't."
"Okaaaay madam...."

Titanz · 31/08/2017 20:24

Putting your hand on her could be considered assault in the eyes if the law, it might seem daft to some people but putting your hands on someone unwanted isnt okay thus why it's assault.

Obviously it's not as cut and dry as that if you're defending your child, there's reasonable action allowed, but you shouldn't have touched her really.

TheWartyOne · 31/08/2017 20:25

I have to say though, I think YWBU to respond to her once she moved away.

Titanz · 31/08/2017 20:26

thewartyone

If a stranger tapped me on the shoulder to ask me on the shoulder they'd get a mouthful. Not sure why you would ever need to touch someone like that. No one has the right to put their hands on someone else.

Titanz · 31/08/2017 20:27

Oops that sentence fail

Walkingdead11 · 31/08/2017 20:41

Oh for fucks sake it is not anti social behaviour to threaten to remove a group of loud girls.....it's called not putting up with anti social behaviour....cause and effect. They act anti social, they get called out on it!!

Buses have cctv for this very reason.

GahBuggerit · 31/08/2017 20:47

Oh for fucks sake yes it is, threatening to physically remove a group of girls is basically threatening assault and makes you sound as bad as them.

Fwiw I hate that assault is thrown around when someone brushes a feather against someone else, but what you did was threaten physical assault towards a group of kids. At least own it, Waynetta would afterall........

PsychedelicSheep · 31/08/2017 20:50

Well this won't be the last time your boys get shouted at or have to deal with aggressive people unfortunately. You can't wrap them in cotton wool forever.

You say that at age 11 and 12 they don't go anywhere without you, really? Not to sleepovers or to play out with friends? Are you maybe a tiny bit overprotective do you think?

Don't get me wrong, I'd be mad if someone screamed at my 13 year old son. But it's just life isn't it, I can't see that it's a police matter, she was only a child.