Should I have rang non-emergency police. DS1 verbally attacked.

[TwoMummyPigs]

I took DS1 (12) and DS2 (11) to get their school shoes yesterday. We got on the bus and downstairs was busy so went to sit upstairs. We sit at the very back, with my partner.

Two stops later there was a bang on the side of the bus as it pulled up to the stop. I thought someone had been hit as there was shouting. Turns out this young girl had ran at the bus and hit the doors. She was about 12/13 and with a friend of about 14/15 and a boy of the same age.

A few minutes later they come upstairs and are visibly dissapointed that we are at the back.

This girl is SO loud and mouthy. She dramatically runs up the aisle and plonks her self down on the last seat before ours.
She is shouting about how she had stormed out after hitting her dad and screaming at her friend about 'not being allowed to fucking talk!' She was awful. Everyone on the bus were exchanging glances.

Now my sons don't go places without me. They are very polite and reserved.

My DS was sat behind her, facing my gf as the seats at the back face each other.

Whilst she is hollering and shouting my DS and GF are talking about something completely unrelated and DS laughs.
Next thing I know this girl gets up, comes round the seat and leans down into DS and starts shouting "what the fuck are you laighing about?? You know nothing about my life. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I leaned forwards and put my hand against her shoulder (not pushing her just creating a barrier) and told her to back off and leave him alone.

She then turns on me. She put her face literally ab INCH away from mine and started the same shit with me. My gf stood up and told her to basically piss off and she had brass balls and carried on shouting.

She storms off and sits halfway down the bus and starts shouting about 'people listening into her private conversations'

So I say 'no body wanted to listen to your drama love but you were screaming loud enough for the whole bus to hear and he wasn't laughing at you!"

The bus driver came up and made them go downstairs (the older girl was just laughing the whole time but the older boy did try to control the littler one) He didn't even kick them off the bus!

DS said he was ok but he looked a little shaken and they did say on the way back he hoped she wasn't on the bus home.

Should I have done more? Complained to the driver? Called 101? She was so aggressive and out of order.

So Gahbugerit, I'm guessing you're one of those people who just puts their head down, ignores errant behaviour and hope it just goes away.......sorry but ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Standing up to it might.

She might have been 'a child' but funnily enough, she's still old enough for the age of criminal responsibility which is 10.

Depends on the situation, i wouldn't threaten to physically remove a group of kids from a bus though, probably would just ignore girls screeching yes. Not really a situation requiring me to get my metaphorical balls out tbh

Surely your 11 and 12 year old DSs encounter 12/13 year old girls (including annoyed, mouthy ones) at school all the time? It sounds like the girl was very out of control, but equally it would be good for your DC to have some idea of how they might handle a similar situation if you weren't there.

OP - criminal barrister here. I get how upsetting something like this is, having gone through it myself. The rage and sense of injustice you feel is extremely natural.

Fact is, thee girl has not committed a criminal offence. As upsetting as it is, please do not waste police time by ringing them. Concentrate on your DC and speak to them about how to deal with that kind of thing in an assertive manner.

She might have been 'a child' but funnily enough, she's still old enough for the age of criminal responsibility which is 10

since she didn't commit any crime, so what?

Fruitcocktail
Perhaps London is different. But for 17 years this has been H's consistent experience in Edinburgh.

Oh I see, anti social behaviour isn't against the law, or harrassment or disturbance of the peace......silly me!! 😏

IT's not harassment, and no "anti-social behavior" is not an actual crime, and neither is breach of the peace a criminal offence.
So yep, silly you!

Funny how my ex has criminal convictions for them then.....must run and tell the judge......

That sounds horrible OP and quite frightening, sorry you had to deal with it.

But no, it's not a police matter. I worry about this new thing where people want to call the police over any little thing. The force are so overstretched, and this sort of thing is just a massive waste of their time.

Criminal convictions for what? Shouting on a bus? I very much doubt it.

I really wish people would think more and refrain from victim blaming, as in, that 11 and 12 yr olds need to learn how to handle these situations etc. I have had many dealings with the police (lunatic ex) and the single most thing they get annoyed about is the people who don't report these things. Every single call to the police gets logged, so ends up in their statistics which might end up actually targetting some crimes. For example, let's say 5 cars on a street get vandalised on a night and only 1 person reports to police....do you see? Now I am of course not saying that this girl is a criminal mastermind who needs locking up in an Alcatraz style prison but what if this girl makes a habit of intimidating members of the public, what if this girl needs some help, what if this girl says something to tge wrong person one day and gets a beating? The police can only do their job if we, the public report things to them. Some of you may not be bothered about shouting or intimidating behaviour but some may be terrified of it because they have mental health issues, or be timid by nature or elderly. It is not acceptable to harrass other people, who are going about their business causing no harm to others. The OP had every right to have a peaceful journey on that bus without being verbally abused and so did her children. In my area we started to have some very real issues with certain youths behaving in an anti social manner on public transport, they have consequently been banned from using that service, as they should.

You haven't yet told us how reporting someone WITHOUT A NAME OR ADDRESS will be of any fucking use whatsoever?

It's an argument on a bus. Not a police matter.

To be fair these are the sort of people buses are there for so it's part of the price of entry.

So when does it become a police matter? When actual physical harm takes place? Er no, emotional harm by verbal assault is assault and is starting to be taken seriously as it should. CCTV ON ALL BUSES........🤗

Er no, emotional harm by verbal assault is assault

It isn't. Stop making up crimes that don't exist.

Can you answer the question please? No, thought not.

I have, and if emotional harm by verbal assault isn't a crime then why is it now listed on domestic violence checklist as a crime?? Seriously get a grip!

balsalmicbarbara

"To be fair these are the sort of people buses are there for, so it is part of the price of entry"

Well, in the 17 years of Capital city driving experience H has, there are two 'sorts of people' he has most problems with.

The lairy 12 year old types (excellent example above)

and the Entitled types. The middle class professionals who confuse the bus with a Taxi and order H to 'take them where they need to go' and who see other passengers convenience, and H's company rules and health and safety, as inferior to their needs. ie - of 'course you can let me off here (in middle of 6 lanes) you silly little man'. Silly little man is the politest thing he has been called.

But, i guess he is just one of 'those sort of people' driving other people like that...

balsamic even..
(clearly also one of the great unwashed. I shall sell my car immediately)

I do wonder how people would react if it was verbal abuse because of race or because of age etc. Bystander apathy is never a good thing. A bus driver was verbally abused by a passenger in London, the police are now looking for him. But I suppose the bus driver should just learn to deal with it, part of his job.......🤔

walking AFAIK, emotional abuse is a crime when it comes to domestic violence. Not in the broader sense.

What a nasty piece of shit she is. And no sorry not every gobby aggressive cow has a sob story. Some are just nasty attention seeking arse holes and these 12/13 year olds turn into 20 year olds bigger and nastier. There are endless videos online of these horrible shits beating up other kids while the gormless peer group look on cheering the violent thug on. Victim blaming saying the victim should know how to deal with it isn't surprising but is idiotic. Should a victim who has been beaten be told they should have know how to stop it happening? Or perhaps a victim of mugging should have know not to take anything out of the house so as not to attract that kind of crime? Op's son was the same age and he had an aggressive loud prick shouting in his face I bet he would have been in the wrong to shove her back out of his space? These thugs need standing up to or they continue to think they are untouchable. Hopefully she will come up against a nastier version of herself and will then realise she isn't all that. There is always someone bigger and stronger than you.