To wonder why people are so judgemental about how others spend their money?

[Judgementalmuch]

I'm really confused right now. I can't for the life of me understand WHY people care so much about how anyone else decide to spend our money. I have examples.

I recently discovered a hateful forum that targets youtubers and bloggers. 2 of my favourite bloggers are religiously attacked for their spending habits. Honestly, they are called all sorts and mocked because they like to buy expensive bags/shoes/whatever. People wish them misery ("hope she loses her house" !) or accuse their spouses of "giving her an allowance".

Today , and the reason I am posting, I was out with a friend. She has a lovely designer bag and as we were walking to the car park, we could clearly hear a woman behind us (pushing a buggy) say "such a waste of money. Instead of wanting to show off a bag she could have made better use of that money" to which her friend giggled and replied "and she probably rents. So silly." "Or just doesn't have kids yet so she fritters it all". This (and lots of giggling) was all within earshot of us and I wanted to say something badly but my friend gave me 'the eye'. This really angered me as this is the only designer bag my friend has, its brand new and I fear this has taken some of the joy from her purchase.

I have previously had sly comments made about me too, which I confront.

I see this often, where people judge others (often those more comfortable financially) for their purchases. Why? Why would anyone care how a complete stranger spends their money??

So what if she buys a £300 candle. It's her money !
So what if she buys a £4,000 bag. It's her money !
So what if he buys a £20,000 watch? It's his money ! (But I rarely see my male friends/relatives judged. Their often celebrated for their "success")

So bloody what?

Wow ! Much longer than planned. I'm angrier than a I thought

Jealousy is a terrible thing.

Yanbu.

We have a cleaner, a gardener, a large house and have maybe 2 holidays a year. The amount of people that feel they can comment on any aspect of this is unreal.
We're not in debt (except a 60% mortgage), we pay our taxes and give to charity. What the hell has it got to do with anyone else?
My husband bought me a designer handbag for my 30th birthday and I don't want to take it out certain places as I know I will get snide comments.

Some people have nothing better to do I guess or it's a life they wish they had jealousy can be an ugly thing.

I get people comment on things I buy but I don't really care what people think. It's my money and I can do what I like with it.

YANBU.

I think that it depends on the circumstances. Someone who is two months behind on rent shouldn't go out and buy a £1500 handbag.

Because they don't have the money to spend on those things and are jealous. .. Or they have too much time on their hands. Or they know the person in question and know that their spending habits are out of synch with their income. Take your pick.

I think it's almost always jealousy, as others have said.

I judge people who use their money for drugs whilst their kids are wearing clothes that don't fit. I don't feel guilty for that.

We spend very very little on clothes, cars and leisure/entertaining but have lovely holidays - it's amazing how many people think they should set me straight and tell me what I should/shouldn't be doing with my money. Weirdos.

I don't think it is jealousy per se. For some it is genuinely inexplicable, for others what you spend your money on says a a lot about who you are and what you prioritise. People will have an opinion. Often some buy these expensive bags etc in attempt to make a statement, about how wealthy they are, how fashionable, classy or whatever...to impress. Sometimes others won't agree with those statements.

Commenting is just plain rude however.

I don't think I'd care enough about a watch or bag to spend those amounts even if I could afford it but I don't care what other people do with their money.

People who make comments like that are probably jealous but as you say people should be able to spend their own money on what they want. If I saw someone with a lovely bag I'd probably just wish I had one too but I would never say anything horrible about it or the person with it.

Cue all the posts about how big people's houses are and how many holidays and bags they enjoy.

My parents disapprove of me spending so much on bags/shoes. They just think it's a waste & society has become far too consumerist/materialistic. I can't believe a stranger would actually comment though!

It happens both ways I think. Well off people judged for spending their own money on expensive things and less well off judged for having any small treats and people saying they should spend it on food/rent etc.

Either way, you'll be judged.
And if you don't spend your money, you're a tightwad or a scrooge or are miserable.

Who cares. These types of people will have something to say regardless of what you do, but majority of people will say nothing really so it's no big deal.

I certainly judged Philip Green for upgrading his yacht during the pension fiasco.

I certainly judged Philip Green for upgrading his yacht during the pension fiasco.

This is a spooky post as I was just thinking this the other day.

My OH went on a lads weekend away to Spain a few weekends ago and when I told people the comments were "well he obviously earns too much money" and "aren't you supposed to be saving?" (We're getting married)

I just thought they were fucking cheeky comments from people who no nothing about our financial situation.

Another is that I have a designer handbag that I take to work and a colleague commented "what a waste of money, you can get one like that in Primark" and rolled her eyes!

I don't get it either.

It's insecurity. By putting you down it makes them feel better.

You see it on here though, the dream car thread people coming on to comment that spending on a car is vulgar and gauche.
Or posters saying that it's all on finance.

Nope, I just like my cars and moral judgement is not wanted or cared about.

Kaytee go out and enjoy your bag everywhere ! I spent ages trying to convince DM to enjoy her bag (gifted to her too) as life is too short and you don't want those naysayers to win !

Kpo these women were complete strangers. They have NO idea what her financial situation is (she can afford the bag, doesn't rent and does have a child).

MrsTrebus I can only imagine ! But I bet they spend money on frivolous things you save on !

It's nobody's business what you spend your money on. I have a lot of friends in the US who are on food stamps and a lot of people judge them when they are in the supermarket because they spend their food stamps or nice things. These are people who his disability does not allow them to work. Yet people think they shouldn't be able to enjoy themselves. It's wrong and it always makes me a little upset.

For example, somebody will buy a birthday cake and use their food stamps on it and someone behind them will feel the need to comment that they pay taxes and somebody is buying a birthday cake with their money.

Witsender But how can a bag/shoe/whatever tell you a lot about someone? What if it was a gift? What if, what if?

MrsOverTheRoad ?

Getout My close family are lovely. They judge silently.

I always think it's amazing how people don't realise that all money goes the same way. To pay the wages of workers (designers at Louis Vitton or factory workers etc) and shareholders. The same can be said about people's M&S bags. If people can afford it what difference does it make. Maybe they could give the money to a charity, which might end up supporting the people who used to make LV bags but lost their job due to a downturn in sales......(slightly oversimplistic view)