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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be angry at DSs 'friend' for abandoning him

217 replies

MrsMuddlePluck · 28/08/2017 23:54

Boys at Reading Festival. My DS had his debit card nicked so no money to get train home. His friend got a lift from his Mum in a 7 seater car home to a street half a mile from our house. Told my son it wasn't his problem that he couldnt get home. Took 4 hours for my DH to find DS to fetch him home. In the meantime he had a panic attack - hungry, dehydrated, lonely & upset.

AIBU to want to slap this selfish little sh#t for leaving him behind?

OP posts:
ALittleMop · 29/08/2017 11:27

OPs updates v sensible (she's not talking about ringing the mum)

At the very least this is a learning experience for the DS about either a. how your behaviour can piss someone off and/or b. who your mates really are.

19lottie82 · 29/08/2017 11:40

jar what on earth makes you think drugs had anything to do with it? Confused I can't see any signs of that in the OP at all.

withlotsoflove · 29/08/2017 11:48

I can't anything to do with drugs either? Confused

diddl · 29/08/2017 12:07

So friend organised a lift home & (I thinking) still had his return ticket.

I'm thinking that the mum didn't know that Op's son was stuck or surely she would have offered a lift-even if there had been a falling out?

So, how was his card & money niked?

ILoveMillhousesDad · 29/08/2017 12:15

Another example of the extremes presented by some mumsnetters Grin

18 yo boy loses his card and train ticket, falls out with friend and is scared.

The examples of teens backpacking round Europe and 9 yo getting lost on a bike ride and having the nous to find and adult are irrelevant.

Fully expecting someone to come on and say

'well, I gave my toddler a compass and dropped him 20 miles from home. 4 hours later he came back with a bag he'd fashioned out of a passing crocodile.'

Karmapolicearrestthisman · 29/08/2017 12:31

I've done things like this in the past. I tend to panic in novel situations and not know what to do. Some tips for your DS that I've learnt the hard way...

  1. Stick an emergency £10 or £20 note in the back of your phone case. If far from home, pop another one in your shoe (in case of phone theft). Use this for a taxi. Also have the uber app on your phone, or similar.
  2. Keep a list of emergency numbers on you.
  3. Take spare glasses, if worn (I had mine smashed at the front row of a metal gig and am blind without, so couldn't find my friends in the crowd for ages!).
  1. Seek out the welfare tent, campsite assistants, police, St John's ambulance etc. if you need assistance.
  2. Keep two charged phone banks on you - I've got one of these www.amazon.co.uk/Anker-PowerCore-Aluminum-Portable-Lipstick-Sized/dp/B005QI1A8C?tag=mumsnetforum-21.
  3. Never rely on your friends, always have your own plans. They will let you down. All human beings are flawed and do daft shit. The only person you can rely on to get you home is yourself.
StaplesCorner · 29/08/2017 16:06

'well, I gave my toddler a compass and dropped him 20 miles from home. 4 hours later he came back with a bag he'd fashioned out of a passing crocodile.' - he'd clearly been to the Welfare Tent.

PerfumeIsAMessage · 29/08/2017 16:14

Er, the reference to the police was regarding the boy's stolen items. Presuming he reported the theft. Boy could then have perhaps asked the police " where do I go now seeing as I have no money, no ticket" to which police say "try the welfare tent"

That's all.

I wasn't expecting the police to take Junior home to mammy. Quite the opposite...

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 29/08/2017 16:26

If you're reading this boys, please know that you definitely can ring me for help in this situation.

That's for my sons, who know my username.

ElizabethShaw · 29/08/2017 16:40

This is all a bit of a storm in a teacup isn't it?

Sounds like pretty standard stupid teenager behaviour! Go to a festival, get drunk/drugged, lose your wallet, fall out with your mates, call your mum/dad to rescue you... I'm sure the DS was not the only teen at Reading in the same situation.

Ultimately, no harm done though.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/08/2017 16:53

Mind you, festivals are a bit of an acid test of teen friendship. People are at the worst when cold, muddy, sleep deprived and more than likely slightly off their faces. Mine kids have never left a man behind, but they have certainly cooled off certain friendships after festivals.

Gorgosparta · 29/08/2017 17:12

The op says she thinks there is more to this as well, that she hasnt got answers to most questions and her son is very difficult.

Its clearly not as cut and dry as friend abandoned him.

Gorgosparta · 29/08/2017 17:13

he'd clearly been to the Welfare Tent.

Grin
grannytomine · 29/08/2017 17:22

twoheaped and MynewnameisKy if I knew how to give flowers I would. You are both very kind people.

Katherine2626 · 30/08/2017 17:29

I would ring that thoughtless, ignorant mother (no wonder her child is as he is) and ask her how would she feel if you had done that to her son. Add that he is unlikely to keep any decent friends with that careless, unkind attitude and tell her you are shocked and upset. Then hang up.

happypoobum · 30/08/2017 17:51

It's entirely possible that the mum had no idea the OPs son had no way home - who knows what the "friend" had told him "X already left with Y and Z" for example.

I agree with the PP who asked why the "friend" didn't offer OPs son his return train ticket as he had originally intended to get the train home.

It seems odd that the friends mum came to get him when he already had the train planned - I also suspect something has happened. If OPs son has done something to seriously fuck his friend off (or the friend told the mum some story) then that might explain why she came and got him and didn't want OPs son in the car.

I hope you get a better story out of him OP - I reckon threatening to call the friends mum might result in a fairly swift result.....Flowers

happypoobum · 30/08/2017 17:52

sorry - had told her

Craigie · 30/08/2017 17:58

I'd be more fucked off with the mother than the idiot kid tbh.

Nousernamefound · 30/08/2017 18:01

I'd also be angry at the other parent for not offering him a lift too!

happypoobum · 30/08/2017 18:04

But we don't know if the other kids mum knew OPs son was still there do we? He could have said he had left with other friends earlier.....

sonjadog · 30/08/2017 18:06

I would guess that the other mother didn´t know the OP´s son was still there.

ShellyBoobs · 30/08/2017 18:14

Since when has an eighteen year-old needed their mum to get involved in their social life/petty squabbles?

How the hell do they manage going away to uni?

DagenhamRoundhouse · 30/08/2017 18:17

'Friend' sounds a total psycho. Avoid avoid.

clarkl2 · 30/08/2017 18:26

That is absolutely awful. Surely any "friend" would have asked their parents to bring him as close to home as possible.
He definitely needs to avoid this person in future as they seem massively self centred and certainly not the type of person you could rely on.

brasty · 30/08/2017 18:52

Calling the friend a psycho when you have no idea what has actually happened, is way over the top.