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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be angry at DSs 'friend' for abandoning him

217 replies

MrsMuddlePluck · 28/08/2017 23:54

Boys at Reading Festival. My DS had his debit card nicked so no money to get train home. His friend got a lift from his Mum in a 7 seater car home to a street half a mile from our house. Told my son it wasn't his problem that he couldnt get home. Took 4 hours for my DH to find DS to fetch him home. In the meantime he had a panic attack - hungry, dehydrated, lonely & upset.

AIBU to want to slap this selfish little sh#t for leaving him behind?

OP posts:
Ttbb · 29/08/2017 00:34

Even if they weren't 'friends' but mere aquaintences, that would be unforgivably inconsiderate and downright rude.

Finola1step · 29/08/2017 00:36

What was the original.plan for getting home?

ALittleMop · 29/08/2017 00:36

How old are the boys?
Had they fallen out?
There must be more to this.
I would bet the mother knows nothing about it.

Seren85 · 29/08/2017 00:40

On the face of it he's no friend at all. Even of they'd fallen out or anything you'd still make sure a mate got home ok. Post festival you tend to feel like a gang of survivors and the best of mates with near strangers never mind the mates you actually went with. If friend's mum was picking up anyway and you live so close and he didn't offer to ask regardless of the debit card issue then that's still pretty shit.

Migraleve · 29/08/2017 00:40

It's a shit thing to do, but there is probably a back story.

For future you can ensure your dc buys ticket for the train home before he goes, that way he will never be stranded

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 29/08/2017 00:40

YANBU. What crappy friends, no matter their age. Also, what was the mum thinking?! Did she realise?

Penelopeg · 29/08/2017 00:41

What on earth was the mother thinking? Did she know? Sounds like the "friends" had a major falling out.

Boulshired · 29/08/2017 00:46

It does not make sense unless they had a falling out. The mum must of pre arranged pick up with her son and she must of known he was with his mate. How had he planned to get home?

Mittens1969 · 29/08/2017 00:55

On the face of it, this is a really shitty thing for a friend to do. Did they go there together or did they just meet up when there? It sounds like they had a major falling out.

How old is your DS, OP? Hope he's feeling ok now and has managed to sort out a new Debit card. Sorry he had such an awful time.

Ceto · 29/08/2017 00:57

I wouldn't necessarily assume friend's mum was at fault. Her son may well have told her that OP's son was being collected or had made his own arrangements.

ByGum · 29/08/2017 01:29

How were they meant to be getting home originally?

Dd is similar age and he friend lives similar distance away, if plan was they travel home on train and dd rang asking me to collect just her instead I'd be asking why her friend wasn't coming with us and how they were getting home.

Did they actually go to this event together or is it someone's he knows and asked for help as they live near? The other kid is still mean but in the latter scenario you can't say Mum is a bitch for not bringing your ds home when her son wasn't attending the event with her child and she can't have known you child was in trouble if the other kid didn't tell her?

Hindsight I know but it's a good idea to have a plan for if something like this happens. Make sure they have credit on on phone, he could have phoned you or Dad and he wouldn't have had to be upset for four hours. If he doesn't have mobile then make sure he knows yours and dh s number off by heart or has them written down so that he can ask an adult to phone for him. To look for lost children/family meeting points and make his way there and ask for help.

One of dds friends turned up on my doorstep very upset she lived in different town and had been here with other friends, one of their mums was supposed to take her home but they'd fallen out and left her and told Mum that girl had rang her Mum to collect instead, untrue as the child didn't have a mobile, dds friend recognised our street after wandering for a few hours and i rang her Mum and Dad changed his mind about no phones until 13

LittleLights · 29/08/2017 01:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NerrSnerr · 29/08/2017 03:03

How old are they? What was the plan for getting home? I'd be interested to hear the other side of the story.

TheRollingCrone · 29/08/2017 03:26

There's more to it OP. Bet they had a row. Still a shitty thing to do. How old is your ds?

Fartypant · 29/08/2017 03:34

he had a panic attack - hungry, dehydrated, lonely & upset

Sounds like a drug come-down. Would explain why he lost his card and got separated from friend

NerrSnerr · 29/08/2017 03:44

he had a panic attack - hungry, dehydrated, lonely & upset

Or massively hungover. I'm guessing he probably lost his card when drunk (but if I was a teenager I probably would have told my mum it was stolen).

brummiesue · 29/08/2017 03:46

'sounds like a drug come down'
Just what the op wants to hear im sure Hmm

Theresnonamesleft · 29/08/2017 03:53

So many questions
Starting with what was your ds travel arrangements too and from Reading?

AcrossthePond55 · 29/08/2017 03:56

Seriously Farty and Nerr? My DS2 has panic attacks and I can assure you they are not the result of a hangover or a 'drug come down'. Hmm I'm sure OP's son was scared shitless to find himself virtually abandoned at a large music festival. Hell, I'd probably have panicked at that myself!

ThoseFemalesAreStrongAsHell · 29/08/2017 04:00

On the surface, this sounds bad. So If 16/17 - not good. If 25, Perhaps different.

Mm I dont think so, even at 25 he shoukd have still offered him a lift. A friend of mine went on a holiday and was meant to get a lift home with friends. The airport lost her luggage so she was taking a long time and they left her at 3.45 in the morning with no way of getting home, no luggage nothing. Even at our age I think thats pretty disgusting.

Oblomov17 · 29/08/2017 04:10

Does sound bad. But is there more to this story?
OP?

Fartypant · 29/08/2017 04:12

No offense intended. It's not an unlikely suggestion though

ButchyRestingFace · 29/08/2017 04:13

Presumably they fell out at the event?

Witchend · 29/08/2017 06:42

There has to be more to this in backstory than you are saying or know.
But why didn't you buy a ticket on line and he could pick it up from the station. Or when he (presumably) reported it to the police say he had no way of getting home.

Gorgosparta · 29/08/2017 06:49

There has to be more to this.

No one would leave their friend alone when there was room in the car. Even if they arent that a great friend.

Somethings happened and he isnt telling you.