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AIBU?

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Original poster

He's only bloody 13 years old FFS

273 replies

youmayfoldunderquestioning · 27/08/2017 23:45

My son was 13 yesterday. Today we went to ASDA and a woman that works there was staring at him. She could not take her eyes off him. She obviously realised that I had clocked her and she started saying that she couldn't believe how much taller he was than me. She couldn't have known how old he was, or that he was taller than average. It was like she was trying to justify the staring. She was blushing and apologising but I felt very uneasy about the staring.

Then tonight we went out for dinner. The waitress was in her 40's. She came over to our table numerous times and was trying to talk to DS. She was saying he looked at least 16 and how good looking he was. She had obviously overheard his name and kept saying it when talking to him. He was uncomfortable with her attention and we left after our main course as we could not have any conversation without her coming over and interrupting. She only spoke to DS and not me and it felt wrong.

My son is a nice looking boy but he's a child not an adult. We don't go out in public together that often anymore (as he's embarrassed to be seen out with his mum) but these two incidents made me very uncomfortable. WIBU to say something the next time this happens?

OP posts:
Fartypant · 28/08/2017 01:39

My 12 year old dd gets gross inappropriate attention from men, a lot. I look them in the eye and shout loudly 'SHE IS 12'

Some have at least, the decency to be embarrassed. Some don't

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 01:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Turquoise0wl · 28/08/2017 01:40

@TinklyLittleLaugh - your son is 11 though. 13 is a bit different.

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 01:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/08/2017 01:45

Yes my youngest is 11. DD1 had lads knocking up until she left for uni though. I'm just making the point that kids do physically pursue other kids; it's not all digital stalking nowadays. The knocking thing is not evidence of trollery

Turquoise0wl · 28/08/2017 01:49

Oh, to be honest, at my school at least, no one would have knocked beyond primary school.

libbyliz83 · 28/08/2017 01:52

If it hadoes been me and my boy I would have been very bluntly ant the interuptions and advised we didn't need her over again. I would have discreetly, away from the table and my boy, have spoken to her and severely highlighted that he is ONLY 13 and the attention from her was inappropriate. If she didn't get the message I would go to the manager and probably even make a written complaint.
He's a child. It is unacceptable behaviour towards him by someone who should know better.

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 01:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Souppppp · 28/08/2017 01:56

@NoLoveofMine - I can only see that the OP has posted about her son (the correct age) and a step-daughter??

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:00

Sorry I have got this very wrong.

My main apology is to the OP. I have been quite under the influence tonight, and misread and misjudged the search facility.

4691IrradiatedHaggis · 28/08/2017 02:00

I see it as nolove trying to derail the thread. Ignore, as surely if was real troll concerns nolove would report the thread and take their own advice further up in the thread.

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:01

I can only apologise.

4691IrradiatedHaggis · 28/08/2017 02:02

Sorry nolove if that's the case - there was a big cross post between mine and yours there. Smile

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:03

No, it's my fault. I apologise to the OP.

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:03

Thanks 4691. I'm just an idiot.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 28/08/2017 02:08

DB3 is 17 now and starting to enjoy the attention but he's always been tall and handsome. When he was 13/14 we (DB1&2 Dsis1 and I) told him that if the attention got too much when he was out with any of us to start talking to us about this funny thing that happened in class, gcse options etc and if the person didn't get the hint we'd then tell them to back off for him, it gave him a way to ask for help subtly and meant if he wasn't sure there wasn't a scene caused, he's always been worried other people will judge him for being rude.

CaretakerToNuns · 28/08/2017 02:08

YANBU.

HOWEVER, remember that teenage girls have it much, much worse than teenage boys.

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:11

Well, quite. One of my friends has been recently being bombarded with abuse from a teenage boy and his friends for going on a date with him and saying "can we just be friends".

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:11

Apparently she is a "frigid bitch". Etc etc.

elliejjtiny · 28/08/2017 02:15

Yuck. My son is 11 and I can't imagine thinking this would be appropriate in 2 years

NameWithChange · 28/08/2017 02:15

I would email the manager of the restaurant and complain - seriously!

FluffyPineapple · 28/08/2017 02:38

Stealth boasting? What rubbish ! My dd is now 18 but is tall for a girl (178cm) and very pretty (doesn't look like me)

Is it only tall girls who can be pretty. There's no hope for my youngest DD then. She's 16, hits 5ft tall (if she stands on tippy toes- and takes after her mum - except she is facially beautiful and has a much leaner figure than her mum 😊

I'd best break it to her gently that only tall girls are considered worthy of attention... (I won't really. I've never heard such rubbish in my life! Only yesterday DD was, discretely, passed a phone number of some middle aged pervert. Not for the first time...

It's a parents job to teach their children how to handle unwanted attention - regardless of their height.. or facial beauty

CoughLaughFart · 28/08/2017 02:43

My main apology is to the OP. I have been quite under the influence tonight, and misread and misjudged the search facility.

That's not all you've misjudged.

CoughLaughFart · 28/08/2017 02:44

HOWEVER, remember that teenage girls have it much, much worse than teenage boys.

Not really relevant.

NoLoveofMine · 28/08/2017 02:46

Lol.