He's only bloody 13 years old FFS

[youmayfoldunderquestioning]

My son was 13 yesterday. Today we went to ASDA and a woman that works there was staring at him. She could not take her eyes off him. She obviously realised that I had clocked her and she started saying that she couldn't believe how much taller he was than me. She couldn't have known how old he was, or that he was taller than average. It was like she was trying to justify the staring. She was blushing and apologising but I felt very uneasy about the staring.

Then tonight we went out for dinner. The waitress was in her 40's. She came over to our table numerous times and was trying to talk to DS. She was saying he looked at least 16 and how good looking he was. She had obviously overheard his name and kept saying it when talking to him. He was uncomfortable with her attention and we left after our main course as we could not have any conversation without her coming over and interrupting. She only spoke to DS and not me and it felt wrong.

My son is a nice looking boy but he's a child not an adult. We don't go out in public together that often anymore (as he's embarrassed to be seen out with his mum) but these two incidents made me very uncomfortable. WIBU to say something the next time this happens?

Not unreasonable at all.

And call a manager over to complain if you are at a venue where there is one.

Additionally, your DS needs to learn the phrase 'Piss off, I'm a minor'.

I don't think DS knew she was flirting with him. He was just like "why does she keep coming over."

Anyone who interrupts your meal 'every ten minutes' needs telling.

I'm surprised you need to ask.

If she didn't know he was 13 then what's the problem and why does it make you feel uneasy? Growing up me and my friends looked like 16-18 year olds at 12 and nobody thought it was weird when we were called pretty/beautiful/stunning by men, why is it different because your DS is a boy?

You could have told him why, and told him to tell her to piss off.
Don't let people do this. I have 4 DDs and have learned to get out of my comfort zone and speak up for them, and have taught them to speak up for themselves too. Give some people an inch and they will take a mile. This is never ok but even more unacceptable when it is unwanted and aggressive flirting with an underage teenage child.

I'd tell the restaurant manager that you left because of the waitress's inappropriate and intrusive behaviour. Regardless of his age she was being unprofessional and over-familiar. It would have spoilt your meal even if he was 23!
It sounds as if you did make the Asda woman realise she was making a fool of herself.
One of my GD's is very tall and at 12 was taken, even at school, for at least 15. Once or twice when she was getting inappropriate attention, I'd give young men (not predatory 40 year olds!!) a filthy look and say loudly 'She's TWELVE!' They disappeared rapidly.

Why didn't you tell her to piss off? If you were uncomfortable, as his mum, why did you not go over to her and tell her to stay the fuck away or ask for a different waitress/the manager? There's no way I'd let that behaviour continue.

She did know. When we arrived she asked if it was a special occasion and I told her it was his 13th birthday and that's when she said he looked down older and that she would have served him alcohol

Really? Well you'll have to take my word for it. I'm not in the habit of making stuff up just for the hell of it.

I think Maybe you're being a little ott.

Sounds like stealth boasting, frankly. Stop going on about it. Jeez

Definitely OTT.

It's hardly stealth boasting. I have nothing to do with how he looks. He looks like his dad.

Whatever.

I hit my full height (and puberty) at 10 or 11 and was regularly taken for an older teen. It sucks when you're still a child and because your body Is full grown your childhood feels essentially over because of the way you're perceived. It's confusing and can be scary when old pervs hit on you or talk to you like an adult or expect you to act far above your maturity level. If he really looks that much older, there's other aspects he will have to deal with as well, and he has my full sympathy.
I cannot believe she continued hitting on him after she knew his age! YANBU to protect your kid and tell them to fuck off.

It's horrible it's not stealth boasting ffs he is a child

This isn't flattery what is flattering when you are 13 having anyone over a few years older than you say that your are good looking

The op can tell what flirting is and learing as these women were doing why is it being played down

Yes being good looking he will get more attention but it's not him that has to learn to deal with it it is others who should be more respectful and not act like fucking creeps

Stealth boasting? What rubbish ! My dd is now 18 but is tall for a girl (178cm) and very pretty (doesn't look like me). She has been getting comments for some years and it also makes her uncomfortable. Never to this extent when she was 13 though. I'm not sure I would tell someone to piss off but would definitely have let them know their attention at the table was not required.

No I don't think everyone fancies him. How ridiculous of you. I was posting about two things that happened today. I'm pretty sure that they won't happen tomorrow.

youmayfoldunderquestioning it does not sound very nice at all.

Did you talk about it? How did he feel?

I think prepare some things to say, or for him to say, together.

The staring lady was so rude, how does she know you are his mum, not his auntie or a friend, or his supervisor on a voluntary placement break! So what if he is tall his dad could be tall. I would simply say something like "It makes me feel uncomfortable when people stare at me/my son." She should then apologize and stop staring!

The waitress I think I would have said something here too. maybe "We don't require anything else. Please could we have some privacy, please?"

I agree with Math you could have told the manager you were uncomfortable with the waitress constantly badgering your table and the mention of posting something on twitter is really not on at all.

Do people really think this is a boast? If you really thought that why bother to engage!

I can't imagine being happy with an older man paying my beautiful dd unwanted attention at a restaurant when she was 13, or staring at her in a supermarket.

So OP please do speak up next time and teach your ds how to handle this.

I got a lot of attention at 13

I looked younger but had just started to develop it made me feel so self conscious especially when it was older men

OP I would not bother engaging with anyone silly enough to think you are boasting about a waitress paying attention to your son. It's ridiculous.

Nina2b do you really have to be so unpleasant? If you don't get it why not just not comment?