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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Step daughter's horrible texts

165 replies

sunnysideup1971 · 26/08/2017 13:13

I posted last week about a row I had with DP. For those who remember the thread, my darling dog is absolutely fine and more spoiled than ever. Thank goodness. DP and I have had lots of very long, soul searching conversations and although many will say he's an abusing bastard who'll do it again, I have a lot to weigh up and think leaving him for this one time action would be rash.

The reason for this second post is the events since then with DSD. She overheard the row and comforted her dad. She was unaware at this point he'd kicked my dog. Nothing was said the following day or for remainder of their time with us. After she went home she text me the most hurtful message telling me she was disgusted and ashamed of me for saying what I did to her dad. I didn't want to go into it so asked her dad to explain it was a row between us, adults have rows, it got out of hand, he kicked the dog and I went crazy! She said she didn't give a flying fuck about the dog!!! She has always loved him to bits and he sleeps with her when she's over.

She won't see any reasoning and her dad won't tell her to mind her own business.

What do I do?

OP posts:
CockacidalManiac · 26/08/2017 13:14

As many said last time, LTB.

ShatnersWig · 26/08/2017 13:15

You really think any of us are going to give you different advice? If so, you're living in cloud cuckoo land, OP.

LTB

yawning801 · 26/08/2017 13:16

This proves that her dad has used her to turn the tables in his favour. I think she could be echoing what her father has said to her.

HighwayDragon1 · 26/08/2017 13:17

He physically pushed you then booted your dog across the room. You've been told over and over to ltb. The daughter is a teenager and will more than likely side with her dad after he cried on her shoulder.

yawning801 · 26/08/2017 13:17

Sorry, pressed post too early. If he can get away with animal abuse, no doubt he thinks he will get away with DV too. LTB. Please.

FanwankTheAbsurd · 26/08/2017 13:18

Okay, so your 'd'p kicked your dog, was horrible to you and lied to his dd. She defends her dad. And now you're mad at her?

FFS OP, what does this man have to do to get you to see he's a manipulative, nasty arsehole?

Stop deflecting the blame onto this young woman and face the facts...oh, and seeing as you refuse to leave this twat, for gods sake rehome your dog as, frankly, they deserve to have a far better life.

Gorgosparta · 26/08/2017 13:18

Just re read the last thread. You will get the samr advice

missmollyhadadolly · 26/08/2017 13:20

What can you do, OP, apart from get away from them both.

They neither love you or respect you.

Keep your dog away from both of them.

PastaOfMuppets · 26/08/2017 13:22

She, like her Dad, probably sees you as an easy target. Why else would you have stayed if he had really been as terrible as you say? It probably stretches her imagination to think any woman would actually have put up with that, so you're clearly weak and a liar in her mind.

Don't blame the daughter for trusting her dad. After all, even despite what he did to you and your little dog, you have chosen also to trust him. Don't blame her.

Peanutbuttercheese · 26/08/2017 13:23

He is an abuser by staying with him your saying it's ok for him to be abusive.

Get in touch with women's aid and talk to them.

SerfTerf · 26/08/2017 13:24

Wow.

Dog kicking and step-child bed-sharing onnthe same thread?

LTB.

sunnysideup1971 · 26/08/2017 13:24

There are 100 reasons to trust him and one reason not to. For many reasons I've decided to stay. Any advice on what to do about DSD?

OP posts:
sunnysideup1971 · 26/08/2017 13:25

The dog sleeps with her not her father Grin

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 26/08/2017 13:26

Then, I'm sorry OP, but none of us have any advice about what to do about your DSD. She is HIS responsibility, not yours.

If you're prepared to put up with him abusing you, seems daft to complain about her abusing you as well.

LovingLola · 26/08/2017 13:27

Block her number.

KurriKurri · 26/08/2017 13:27

One reason not to trust him is one reason to many.

Ellisandra · 26/08/2017 13:28

The one reason not to trust him being...
He's not trustworthy.

If you insist on only wanting advice about his daughter...

Accept that she's taking her lead from him. Go back to him and tell him to explain it sufficiently that SD realises an apology is due.

If he won't do that, then LTB for that. Instead of leaving him for assaulting you and your dog.

SerfTerf · 26/08/2017 13:28

Right. But suddenly she doesn't care when he's kicked by an adult male?

I can't quite imagine it. The only time I have ever physically attacked anyone was in defence of my dog. And the DC's attachment to her has been fierce and constant. I'd say that's standard, isn't it?

Ellisandra · 26/08/2017 13:29

Oh and next time she stays, remind her that she doesn't give a flying fuck about the dog, and was not bothered by it being kicked - and therefore you don't consider who a safe person to have alone around it. No more doggy bed times.

bengalcat · 26/08/2017 13:29

If my partner kicked my dog I'd get rid of him and in the event i didn't I would rehome my dog for its welfare ( ps in reality the animal would always come first )

catlovingdoctor · 26/08/2017 13:30

LTB. For your innocent dog's sake, if not your own. Is your dog supposed to just live in fear of a kicking now?!

FanwankTheAbsurd · 26/08/2017 13:30

So stay then, put up with being treated this way. The girl will always side with her father over you, especially if he is telling her you treat him badly.

What should you do? REHOME YOUR DOG SO IT DOESNT GET ATTACKED AGAIN!!

abbsisspartacus · 26/08/2017 13:33

If you are set on staying rehome the dog for it's own safety

HighwayDragon1 · 26/08/2017 13:36

Ignore her, she's been fed lies by your 'd'p and is just regurgitating what he has said to her. I'd not allow the dog in her room if she doesn't give a flying fuck about him. Though if you can't guarantee the safety of the dog you should re-home him.

PNGirl · 26/08/2017 13:36

How can you stand to even touch someone who would kick a dog!?