YANBU @bossychick
Any man who is unemployed, (and isn't disabled or ill,) and who is fairly content with being unemployed, would be out the door after a first date.
I know someone who dated a man some 20 years ago, who was bone idle. He was 24, and had never worked, except a youth training scheme thing for 6 months which he was forced to do. He got 40 quid dole money a week, gave his mother fuck-all, and used his mother's car (which she taxed and insured and filled with petrol for him.)
My friend dated him for a few months, as he said he was 'between jobs' at the time. As she scratched the surface, she realised he had never had a proper job. At 24 years old. It was his mother who told her!!!
She tried to end it (after 2-3 months,) but he begged her to not end it, and promised he'd get a job. He had a job in a factory within 3 days.
They stayed together and he carried on working, and they bought a flat together (late 1990's.) They had a baby too. However, when he got finished from his factory job 10 years later, he just drifted from temp job to temp job, spending like there was no tomorrow, (like he had done when he was working full time in the factory,) and constantly throwing them in the mire, and taking handouts from his mother (AND her mother,) just to survive.
Around 2009 my friend was at the end of her tether and tried to end the marriage - when his excessive spending caused them to go bankrupt and lose their home. She foolishly stayed after he begged and cried and wailed that he couldn't live without her.
After that, he got a permanent position, (supermarket,) but it was only 28 hours a week. He was Ok for several years, but since around 2012, he has been constantly 'ill,' and trying to find new ways to get written off permanently sick. He has already said he wants to reduce his hours to 22 from 30, as his job 'stresses him out,' and if he does 'tax credits will top it up!'
My friend said if he voluntarily gives up his job, or reduces his hours by almost a THIRD, for sod-all, the marriage is dead. He knows she means it.
She said she is happy to do everything; childcare, housework, cooking, washing, paying the bills, sorting family admin etc etc, and all she wants is him to just stay in a job. (She works 26 hours herself as well as doing everything else!) But she said a man without a job is a no-no, no matter how 'nice' he is. And a man who deliberately gives up work because he 'can't be arsed' is not someone she wants to be with. Especially as he would throw them in the financial mire again.
Basically, a man who doesn't work - for no reason at all - is lazy, and entitled, and that will NOT make for a good husband, or a good father.
I would swerve the man if I were you OP. You deserve better. Also, many men can't handle women being more successful than them, and this will be an issue too.
And there is nothing 'judgemental' about not wanting to date someone who hasn't got a bloody job. (As one poster said earlier.) What kind of man do you have to be to voluntarily not have a job?
It's not about wanting him to buy you pressies and dinner; what a ridiculous thing to say!!! If some women are happy to take any man they can get - even one who purposely chooses to not work - then good luck to them. But I want, need, and deserve better. So does the OP.