To be fed up of Instamums

[Hmmmmx100]

I followed a few of the more well-known Instamums but got weary of the constant daily barrage of brand endorsements. I can't relate to people on £100k a year in Farrow & Ball houses. I just can't. So I had to unfollow em all, every one. AIBU to feel a bit miffed that these people are using the idea of sisterhood to make money? They're not our friends, they're just there to sell us stuff that we probably don't need anyway.

Elspeth someone else I follow is like that. And her stories with her telling off her children, or moaning about her dad/brother/husband make me really uncomfortable. I do like her though, so I follow, and skip most of her stories.

I think Milo has hit the nail on the head. I'm a sahm living in East London, I'm comfortable and and there's nothing for me to be jealous of, but when middle class metropolitan elites showcase their 'crazy mama' life it can be grating. That said, I don't have to look at it, but I think it's interesting to discuss this phenomenon and its impact on those that follow them and how we the audience feel about their advice/suggestions/adverts, which we are perfectly entitled to do.

I hope this thread doesn't get pulled as it's an important discussion to have.

I am on Instagram but basically stopped using it as I felt like a knob taking selfies of myself and my life for strangers to see. Maybe coz I'm not a millennial but it just didn't come naturally to me. Felt all wrong. Very inward looking and narcissistic. I do see that some accounts are not like that and are there for a cause or not focused on the self, but the majority are me me me. I don't want to raise my kids to be like that. I want them to be outward looking, think of helping others rather than promoting themselves.

I do like Clenmie Telford, doesn't appear to be doing too much #ad , seems like a nice woman and has possibly the most gorgeous children.

*Clemmie

Re my comment about food banks. She wrote on her blog that the HV had offered her vouchers for the food bank, which they don't exactly hand out willy nilly, so it obviously reads to me that she qualified for them. So why write about it if you didn't use them? Especially with posting about buying expensive clothes etc not too long afterwards. I just find it very odd.

As I said before though, I'm sure shes lovely and the kids are sweet. Her eldest daughter in particular is great.

I think it's very unfair and inappropriate to question about the father.

I don't think it's unfair or inappropriate to question the father, of a family where the mother is having to resort to food banks. Why are we in a world where a father can seemingly not provide for his children, so much so that they can't eat?

I don't mean in that sense. I mean it's obviously not mentioned in detail by her for a reason so I don't think it's fair for people to question her about it if she doesn't want to comment. If that makes sense! Any man should absolutely be accountable for their children's welfare.

I reallt do feel for tomanychildren.

Yes her children are beautifully dressed but her eldest daughter (who seems lovely and a very good help) has been very unwell.

She never shows herself off either so I presume she's not interested in seeking fame.

I've followed the lady with 12 children for a long time and she's not really anything like the other quite powerful accounts. I've never seen an ad, she promotes small brands she uses and I'd not noticed a donate button but this seems to have been added when long term followers became aware of a drastic change in circumstances and requested it. Until last summer the dad was referenced and they were married a long time and she was grateful for the large family and life he enabled her to have. The daughter also referenced his support in her life. The change was sudden and unexpected and she's stated she's unable to discuss the situation for legal reasons but is devastated. She's always been lovely and not smug. Never seen anything flashy or holidays, just a love of pretty fabrics lol.
Mod and Fods accounts and ads are so cringe. Fair play to them but they seem to have sold out to every item they possibly can. She does whinge a lot and the new washing machines 🙄 I bet she's furious he's got so many more followers than her. Mother p is fun and kind of mental. Martha MHEA is lovely to follow. And I remember some kind of hilarious war between the mother of all adventures and the smug mum of 8 where they both boasted about their husbands and one thought the other was copying 😝 It's fun to follow accounts but the smugness and money and holiday bragging is getting a bit much with some.

Frosted, it's difficult isn't it? Because when you put your life out there to tens of thousands of people, well they're going to want to know all of it aren't they? Which no, they aren't entitled to, and shouldn't ask, but the more people share, the more people want if that makes sense?

I've looked at lots of mentioned accounts and started following some. I've gained a few followers myself from this thread. I'm not and will never be one of the 'mama' elite.

Instagram is helping me share our moments of joy and connect with parents of children like mine (she's utterly unique and that can be isolating)

I'm enjoying some of them! Mostly glimpsing into lives I'll never live but I'm more than happy with my own, despite it being a world apart from a normal life!

DD will never grow up and sue me though. I pray she makes it to adulthood but even then, she'll not have the capacity to understand Instagram. I've weighed our lack of privacy of the things I share up with the amount of ignorance we experience and decided I want to change it! Perhaps the instamum children will be upset at having their lives shared but I'd have quite liked a blog of my life to look back on! I'm reserving my judgement.

The narcissistic side of Instagram makes me want to turn myself inside out with cringe though!

I'm not going to lie, I love a good gossip. I like being like oh Mod's at it again, she wants a washing machine this time.
But it is not jealousy and a huge part of me thinks 'good on them' and I do have a blog and I have been asked to advertise before just the once and it was for carpet freshener but perhaps if it was for a bit of money (that would really help me out) and for a more worthy product I would say yes. HOWEVER I do think it is important these things are discussed. It is a new phenomenon and we don't know how it will affect children as they grow older, I'm interested in people's opinions on this in regards to children suing when they are older - and I have started to wonder if perhaps I am over sharing my own children's lives. I know it's not quite to the same level but if anyone has watched Keeping up with the Kardashians it is evident how much it has affected Kylie and Kendall constantly having their personal lives being watched from a very young age. I'm not suggesting Mother Pukka's, Mod's, or anyone's children are quite as exposed as the Kardashian's but it definitely is something that should be thought about a bit more.
I also think the constant holidaying, babies in Tobias and Bear, mothers kitted out in Boden is damaging because as we all know a lot of people can't afford that and it can make people feel very down on themselves and I'm sure that wasn't their original intentions.

I remember being absolutely mortified as a kid about a picture taken of me naked in a paddling pool when I was 2 and the fact it was in the photo album. Instagram is on a whole new other level.

Kids lives have already become complicated enough through social media: watsapp bullying, pressure to skinny duck face pout the whole time...etc.... I think throwing a digital legacy of being an insta child star into the mix is potentially really harmful.

MrsK the clothes thing is so true. I remember first following midwifeyhooper before she became MOD and it was a nice accountand the kids were dressed so normally, I remember the middle child wearing a t shirt several times that my daughter had about 8 years ago, I liked that, she seemed normal. Their followers keep increasing though so people must love it.

Langkaw you make a good point. DP put a photo of DSS on his (non hashtagged very quiet but public) Instagram. It was a silly photo. DSS wasn't tagged in it or anything, their accounts weren't linked other than they share the same surname. Turns out kids at DSSs school found it and teased him badly about it. Showed me to be careful what to post on there tbh.

Someone has said on flex appeals comments that this thread is awful and there's that old chestnut about mums need to support each other/haters are jealous etc. It annoys me when criticism is shut down like that. The whole 'all women should support each other' is as one dimensional as the old chauvinistic ' put up and shut up'

I think this thread is important and insightful. Social media brand promotion is relatively new and raises issues that need to be discussed.

And when people on social media act like irresponsible, smug twats then they need to be pulled up on it like anyone else who puts themself in the public eye.

I even I followed some close family members as I was beginning to dislike them quite a lot with their self satisfied smugness.
Final straw was one mummy posting a pic of her toddlers tea and saying his favourite thing to eat was "red kidney beans!"
Yeah ok.

I absolutely agree langkaw

Oh give over my toddler loved Ketchup and chocolate buttons

MrsK mine loved chocolate buttons in ketchup 😂

And chips in ice cream

Bet 50p this thread or topic ends up in the DM this week. Sort of "have the tables turned on the scummy mummies" and "sell out parents" style article.

From what I've seen of Mother Pukkas feed, she isn't advertising in the same way as the others mentioned here. The fact that Unmumsy Mum questioned whether she should go to #ads also raises that a lot of the instamum community themselves are aware of the difference it makes to a feed and following.

there's that old chestnut about mums/women need to support each other

Absolutely agree with this, you don't hear this when Teresa May is getting a deserved pasteing.