Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Male beauticians and waxing!!

308 replies

Emboo19 · 25/08/2017 12:46

This is based on a friends experience, not mine and it's not so much a AIBU. But we've been discussing it at length and I'm interested in others thoughts.
So would you be ok with a male beautician doing intimate waxing? Would it depend on quite how intimate, so a bikini wax would be ok, but a all off not so much?

I'm not actually sure myself. A part of me thinks it's no different to a male doctor or nurse and I'd be fine with that. Definitely wouldn't have a problem with any other beauty treatments being done by a man, but waxing that invloves no underwear, I'm not sure!!

OP posts:
Circumlocutor · 26/08/2017 12:15

*wax

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 26/08/2017 12:15

Not only men another, but mostly men.

It's naming a problem that is the first step to solving a problem.

People are so keen to destroy women and girl's right to privacy and dignity lately.

CoinOperatedGurl · 26/08/2017 12:15

I think it's the amount of problems I've had with women. I only have male friends for this reason.

SonicBoomBoom · 26/08/2017 12:18

another, intimidate means frighten. If you frighten someone, you scare them. Stop being obtuse.

BertrandRussell · 26/08/2017 12:23

" think the reason that "lesbians are wheeled out" is that there's surely a sexual element that people are worried about when they want male-free spaces."
Oh, are we talking about male free spaces? I thought we were talking about male bikini waters.
For some women there will be a sexual element. Understandable, particularly for those who have been abused in some way. For moist, I suspect, it's simply a matter of privacy.

Circumlocutor · 26/08/2017 12:27

I assume the anti-male brigade are worried because they think someone'll be getting the rocks off on it all.

No, I'm just rather selective about which men I show my fanny too. A beautician is neither my doctor nor my lover so I see no reason to put myself through the discomfort of showing my undercarriage to a male stranger just so he won't think I'm part of the 'anti-male brigade'.

Circumlocutor · 26/08/2017 12:33

'they have a male member of staff who does nails who is currently training to wax. Friend said that if someone refused to be waxed by him they wouldn't be welcome in her salon."'

She doesn't have much of a business brain by the sounds of things.

Arealhumanbeing · 26/08/2017 12:39

Where did @Coin say she was scared?

Are they working as a team now?

amazonEcho · 26/08/2017 12:45

CosmicPineapple

I think their opinions are wrong. Clearly. That doesn't mean I don't think they should have a choice. I think people who voted for Corbyn were wrong but I like democracy.

BertrandRussell

I'd imagined that the waxing would take place in a private room with only the waxer and waxee in it. If you refuse to have male waxer, and you are a woman, it's a male-free space, no?

FerretsAreFeminists · 26/08/2017 12:48

It's already been explained amazon that it has very little/nothing to do with sexual attraction. I have no problem being examined intimately by a lesbian HCP because she is still a woman. Likewise I wouldn't feel comfortable being examined by a gay man because regardless of his sexuality, he is still a man.

Since you brought up women only spaces, I have no problem sharing them with lesbians either and wouldn't want to share them with gay men for the same reason. It's not purely fear of being sexually assaulted or thinking people will be attracted to us. It's about privacy and dignity.

anotherAnotherUsername · 26/08/2017 12:51

@Arealhumanbeing

Yes, we've teamed up. That's the only possible explanation for two women having the same opinion which is different to yours and a few others whom you have 'teamed up with'.

@DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacu

Thanks for qualifying as opposed to making blanket statements. I agree that things should be named. Male WWI and male WWII obviously, as it was mostly men who fought. Male 9/11 as there were no female hi-jackers. Female Brexit. Female Falklands War...

We shouldn't shy away from issues.

Hmm

@Circumlocutor

But not selective about which women you show your fanny to?

BertrandRussell · 26/08/2017 12:54

"I think their opinions are wrong. Clearly"

How on earth can saying that you do not want to have your pubic hair waxed by a man be wrong? You may not feel the same way, but it is not "wrong" not to want that to happen.

amazonEcho · 26/08/2017 12:54

Ferrets - that baffles me even more. It isn't sexual fear or fear of being sexually assaulted, it's that men steal our dignity with their eyes?

Again, I'm not saying anyone should be waxed against their will, I'm saying I can't understand the reasons for declining every single mane because of their sex. and however much I try, can't bring myself to treat men with fear and disdain and all woman as 'sisters' because we have the same sexual organs.

I think there's a word for stereotyping somenone based on nothing more than their sex ...

amazonEcho · 26/08/2017 12:59

Why not Bertrand?

I don't judge people based on sex. I think people who do are wrong. They have the right to be wrong, but that doesn't mean I need to agree with them or not want to put my point across on a discussion board.

In the same para, I likened it to politics. I logically think that everyone who disagrees with me is wrong. That doesn't mean I think they should be forced to vote the same way I do.

Surely this makes sense?

BertrandRussell · 26/08/2017 13:04

"and however much I try, can't bring myself to treat men with fear and disdain and all woman as 'sisters' because we have the same sexual organs."

Nope. Me neither.

Amazon, if I said "social convention" to you, would you understand what I meant?

Amee1992x · 26/08/2017 13:08

As a salon owner I have a male therapist. He has a few regular clients for waxing just some close friends. He's most popular with makeup and hot stone massage.

CosmicPineapple · 26/08/2017 13:11

I'm saying I can't understand the reasons for declining every single mane because of their sex.

Nobody is asking for you to understand their choice. What is being asked is that you do not call women names, belittle them or make them feel their right to body autonomy is wrong. Which is exactly what you did in your earlier post Amazon Hmm

CosmicPineapple · 26/08/2017 13:13

Can I ask Amazon why you feel the need to name call and belittle another person for their choice on who touches them?

Can you answer my question from earlier?

JacquesHammer · 26/08/2017 13:15

I would have no issue being waxed by a male.

I genuinely don't see why the OP should feel bad though. She expressed a preference, which was accomodated no issue.

I express a preference when I'm making a beauty appointment - I prefer Waxer 1 to Waxer 2 because she does a better job. Therefore I would turn down an appointment with Waxer 2.

Beauticians are used to clients having preferences over who clients want to do their treatment.

This salon doesn't seem to be causing any major issues by giving their clients options

Italiangreyhound · 26/08/2017 13:19

Amazon "I can't understand the reasons for declining every single mane because of their sex. and however much I try, can't bring myself to treat men with fear and disdain and all woman as 'sisters' because we have the same sexual organs"

I don't think anyone is asking you to do that. But if anyone belittles girls and women's desire to be in a female only environment for personal, intimate procedures/medical treatment/ablutions etc they are trying to undermine other women. That is so not on.

Men do not need stocking up for (generally) they do not need further access to women's bodies. Be waxed by who you like. But some women will not want to be waxed by a male and this is allowed by law and does not mean that poor old men are being sexually discriminated against.

Italiangreyhound · 26/08/2017 13:40

Sticking up for

CatsAreAssholes · 26/08/2017 13:43

All of it who are so "confused" over not wanting a male waxer, you must also be fighting against segregated lockerooms and toilets right? You must be baffled by seperate toilets for men and women

noeffingidea · 26/08/2017 13:45

And some men prefer personal care to be carried out by another man (as I discovered as a nurse). That doesn't mean they were discriminating against the female nurses. They found it embarrassing to have their private parts seen and touched by females. That is completely normal in our society.

BertrandRussell · 26/08/2017 13:52

"and however much I try, can't bring myself to treat men with fear and disdain and all woman as 'sisters' because we have the same sexual organs."

Could you say where anyone has asked you to do either of those things?

MistressDeeCee · 26/08/2017 13:58

No I wouldn't go for that. If an essential medical procedure and no female doctor available, then yeah. Getting my bits waxed eetc, hell no. If you're not my man I don't want you touching me down there (unless essential medical of coiurse) and I couldn't care less if its a "professional" thing. Not for me