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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that it IS rude?

475 replies

Dancingfairy · 24/08/2017 08:32

A friend posted on facebook the other day about having a work man other who pooed in her loo without asking. The comments were all saying how rude and disgusting it was. Some even saying to report him or that they would have kicked him out. Anyway I mentioned it to a friend who didn't see the problem. But I do think that it's rude aswell so aibu or is it rude not to ask?!

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 24/08/2017 09:32

It's not always possible to 'hold it in for hours' what a crazy notion.
Why spend hours with cramps and conentrating in holding it in when 2 minutes and you are done?

It's just too bizarre to expect a person to be good enough to be working in your home to not be good enough to use your loo.

I don't have bowel probs but sometimes if I have to go I have to go pdq it's a horrible thought that someone would think I was disgusting for doing what nature dictates.

If you have bought into the vipoo hype that women's poo shouldn't smell and offend men then you have even more 'ishoos'.

celeste4 · 24/08/2017 09:33

Give the guy a break, its a toilet, thats what its for. I don't see the drama, i'm guessing she would only have said yes anyway.

Dancingfairy · 24/08/2017 09:34

I use to not poo if my ex was in the house. Took me a good 5 years to get over it lol. Even then I would still try to wait till he was out or downstairs. I wouldn't have done it with him upstairs. And it's actually common to feel that way.

OP posts:
Gromance02 · 24/08/2017 09:35

And it's actually common to feel that way But it's not normal though.

Nikephorus · 24/08/2017 09:35

It was rude to use the loo without asking - it's just courtesy. You wouldn't help yourself to a cup of tea, you'd wait to be offered.
But if you've asked & been given permission then, as long as you leave it in the same way that you found it, I don't think it matters what you did. Granted I'd prefer no-one to use my loo (I have a thing about it, it's weird I know) & certainly not for more than a wee, but I wouldn't tell them. (And I certainly wouldn't want to reveal my hang-ups on Facebook where I'm not anonymous!)

WizardOfToss · 24/08/2017 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

banivani · 24/08/2017 09:37

In Ursula Le Guin's book "The Dispossessed" toilets are simply called shitstools, because that's what they're for. ;)

Gromance02 · 24/08/2017 09:37

This thread is a real eye-opener. I had no idea such hang-ups about going for a shit even existed.

celeste4 · 24/08/2017 09:38

I think its more weird getting into such a tiss about it and resorting to posting about it on facebook to be honest.

Dancingfairy · 24/08/2017 09:38

The thought of someone just brazenly using my toilet is alien to me sorry.

OP posts:
viques · 24/08/2017 09:39

dancing fairy. I think you are the one with issues. As a totally untrained amateur psychologist I would hazard a guess from the safety of my consulting room, sorry, sitting room, that your progress from nappies to using a toilet was marred by an unfortunate experience, or, indeed, a series of unfortunate experiences, which has resulted in this obsession with workmen using your toilet, or strangers using a public toilet for a poo, or indeed you using a public toilet for a poo. I think you need to sit down, though not perhaps on a toilet seat, and work this strange obsession through.

HTH, that will be £100 please.

GrapesAreMyJam · 24/08/2017 09:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Dancingfairy · 24/08/2017 09:40

Well fartings normal but if a work man came to fix something in your house and just stood infront of you and let one rip most people would be horrified!

OP posts:
MerchantofVenice · 24/08/2017 09:41

I am weird about this too - it is common, as OP says.

However, I know that there is no way you can actually, legitimately, claim it's 'rude' for a stranger to use your loo for its intended purpose (assuming you've willingly let them into your house!). I wouldn't like it, but it's not rude.

I also struggle to understand people who are comfortable pooing in any random toilet. People say they can't hold it - and I do believe them - it's just that my experience is the opposite, as in I literally wouldn't be able to go.

BlindAssassin1 · 24/08/2017 09:41

There is a certain snobbish thing when this issue crops up on MN - do workmen do nastier, more revolting poos than naicer types?

Anyway, can you imagine reporting him to his boss? It would sound so utterly insane and precious, you'd get dropped to the bottom of the pile for any future work.

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/08/2017 09:42

But dancing
Why on earth wouldn't you be telling people where the bathroom is.

I thought it was pretty customary to buy in extra tea or coffee (cheaper stuff than usual if you so wish) and biscuits precisely so you would not have to repeatedly asked.

GrapesAreMyJam · 24/08/2017 09:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ConfidentlyUnhinged · 24/08/2017 09:42

How can one brazenly use a toilet. I assume you leave the door open, cough and announce "I shall now be shitting" and play a fanfare. Then ask everyone to come and inspect the products.

AlpacasPackOwls · 24/08/2017 09:46

Shock horror - human does bodily function in device designed for bodily function! Stop the press!

thecatsthecats · 24/08/2017 09:46

Human beings are really a ridiculous species, to be so wound up about a 100% normal bodily function that nearly every sentient creature on the planet does on a daily basis.

nellytheelephant21 · 24/08/2017 09:55

I cannot imagine how you would even start such a complaint phone call or letter!!! Absolutely ridiculous

SapphireStrange · 24/08/2017 09:57

I don't think a poo is urgent either?

You've never met my bowels. Grin

I think you and your friend are being U and not. Yes, people should ask politely 'Can I use the loo/where is it?' but you and she seem to be conflating this with the fact that he shat in it. That in itself isn't rude.

I will never understand the kind of people who are horrified about another person having a shit in a loo.

demirose87 · 24/08/2017 09:58

Why shouldn't he be allowed to use the toilet? It's a basic human necessity. Everyone in their work place is entitled to have access to a toilet, and if he was their for a while then of course he should have used your friend's toilet. Fair enough, he could have asked first, but maybe he felt embarrassed. And I think your friend is rude also for posting all over facebook that someone had a poo in her toilet. Making a big deal over nothing.

Deathraystare · 24/08/2017 10:01

Now what WOULD be rude is if he took a dump on her patio and stuck some fairy lights on top by way of a trophy. That would be rude.

Waaahaha. That cheered me up, thanks! (Got interview this pm and feeling nervous!)

demirose87 · 24/08/2017 10:01
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