To think that it IS rude?

[Dancingfairy]

A friend posted on facebook the other day about having a work man other who pooed in her loo without asking. The comments were all saying how rude and disgusting it was. Some even saying to report him or that they would have kicked him out. Anyway I mentioned it to a friend who didn't see the problem. But I do think that it's rude aswell so aibu or is it rude not to ask?!

Oh my god this is ridiculous. If you have work men you need to provide welfare facilities so that's either a portaloo or your toilet. Big deal.

Maybe it would have been polite of the workman to ask to use the loo but it sounds as if this woman might have said 'no'!

FFS... Do you know how many people have IBS? Chrons? Ulcerative Colitis? Intolerances? Far more common than you might know. He might not had problems for months and then suddenly he has a flare up and he has to go asap or poos on his pants. Maybe the urgency was such that having a polite discussion on whether it was ok to use the toilet might have been a bit too long to allow him to hold. Maybe he didn't want to risk being asked what for. People with bowel conditions might need to go 10-20 times to the bathroom and when the body says "go!", you might have seconds to get there. I'm not exaggerating. There are "I can't wait" cards from official organisations, so you can show it to a shop owner or whatever if you are out and about. You don't know if he has a condition. He could have been ok for months and book fewer clients when he's got a flare up (or none) but these things flare up suddenly and without warning. Yes, he could have been fine and just had her waiting for too long, but you don't know and that level of judgement on people who need to poo in public spaces is just wrong and what makes people with bowel diseases or syndromes more embarrassed. That's why VIPoo was also invented, because the market of people with these conditions is increasing dramatically, not for the odd person who likes pooing out of their house. It's an invisible disability, people get parts of their colon cut out just to try to live a normal life. Can't believe how judgemental some posts are. People don't choose to have the condition and even if the workman didn't have it, the judgement is there for everyone. Have more sympathy

If you employ someone to work in your house it is your duty to ensure they have adequate facilities. That includes being able to go for a shit if the need arises. If you're so precious about your own loo being used then hire a portaloo (and also expect to have no one willing to work for the crazy person). An adult should not have to ask permission to go to the toilet. Anyone who expects them to do so is being rude.

lill Tom tit! 😂

What does AIBU stand for?

Am I being unreasonable

Is it because he was a workman that he had to ask? Had he been working all day in the property or was he just walking off the street giving a quote?
Did she feel he was invading her personal space or was she feeling his poo is not worth her toilet?

You want a workman to hold all day or ask permission to poo... he asked to use the toilet - should he specify exactly what he was going to do in the toilet. Toilets are for poo/wee understand?

Did he leave it clean? Now leaving it dirty would be an issue.

Why is your friend so precious over the correct use of a toilet?

Love the brazen poo goers. What is it they do, announce it with a Ryanair stylee 'the poo has landed' trumpet proclamation?

Op, in the nicest possible way, yanbu.

yABU I mean, obviously

Personally any workmen doing even the tiniest jobs, get offered a brew & a snack. I wouldn't think twice about them not asking, maybe he got caught short so it was go or make a mess.

Maybe I'm too relaxed, but there's far more important things to be worrying over / getting angry about. Someone's bowel habits isn't one of them.

Is it really being suggested that the guy asks to go to the loo detailing it feels like their bowel is full

Not too relaxed just nice and normal misse

It's funny how this thread about poo is running on and on long after the OP gave up arguing her case lol.

Jesus I've read it all now! I find it hilarious that the OP asked if she/her friend (come on, pull the other one - the subsequent posts defending the opinion suggests it was her really) were being unreasonable and despite an overwhelming majority telling her she was, she still continued to argue that everyone else must be wrong! Why oh why even bother asking?

I have "pooing anxiety" for want of a better term! I tend to go once, maybe twice a week and it's severely painful. Sweats, screaming and occasionally actually crying thinking I'm going to die with half a shit hanging out my arse, stick! I will only go at home and have left places to be able to do that. If I miss my "window of opportunity" as I call it, it can be days before I feel the need again - and I can't make myself go without that urge. If I've missed a couple of opportunities the next one arrives and I HAVE to go then. I have awful cramps and contraction type feelings (!), start sweating, feel physically sick and just know it won't be held in. That is the absolute only time I would ever consider going for a poo somewhere other than at home! Because it won't be held off!

OP you are truly a horrid person if you believe that people shouldn't be having a poo in your house just because you feel that you are better than them or it might smell for a few minutes. Someone said earlier they hoped you never get "caught short".... I actually hope you DO get caught short and perhaps then you'll realise just how unreasonable you actually are.

Oh - and OP you said it's obvious that someone is going for a poo in public toilets if they take too long? Think again. I currently have a medical condition that means I can't wee! I could be desperate feeling about to wet myself, sit on the loo - nothing! I literally have to force/strain to make the wee come (and I can't just leave as I'm desperate to go) and it can take up to 10 minutes. I'm mortified that people might think I'm pooing in there!

Driven I'm forever pooing. Anywhere and everywhere. I have no shame anymore and just get on with it. If I'm having a pooey time I'll just declare it to my work colleagues so they know I'll be darting to the loo every so often. What's the point in hiding it, I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life so I may as well get on with it!

Ok, so I do think the OP is unreasonable- but isn't it going a bit far to claim that she's a 'horrid person'?!

People have different (and sometimes bonkers) ideas about stuff. It doesn't mean they're evil.

Some of the medical issues people have described on this thread are awful, and I'm sure all of us have full sympathy for these issues once we understand them. Clearly, OP wasn't thinking/didn't know about the bowel complaints people have mentioned, otherwise she wouldn't have made her rather ill-judged post. Yes, you can accuse her if being thoughtless, ignorant and unreasonable. But 'a horrid person'? I don't think we have grounds for that.

I wouldn't say she was 'horrid', no, but totally unable to see beyond her own issues. And I strongly suspect that she was a young teenager, there was something quite childish about her posts.

can anyone tell me what AIBU stands for please?

Am I Being Unreasonable

What does AIBU stand for?

What does AIBU stand for?

Are you doing that on purpose?

It stands for am I being unreasonable.

I visit friends and family and need a poo, I do not announce it, I just go and do what I need to do and clean up appropriately.

When I worked and needed a poo, I did not announce it, I would just go and do what I needed to do and clean up appropriately.

This would not bother me in the least. People go to other peoples homes, for many reasons, they may need to poo when they do so!! Get over it!

Friend needs a slap around the face with a piece of poo!!

If a visitor - whether a friend or a work-person - asks if they can use our toilet my answer is always the same - "I hate to think of the alternative......"