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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it IS rude?

475 replies

Dancingfairy · 24/08/2017 08:32

A friend posted on facebook the other day about having a work man other who pooed in her loo without asking. The comments were all saying how rude and disgusting it was. Some even saying to report him or that they would have kicked him out. Anyway I mentioned it to a friend who didn't see the problem. But I do think that it's rude aswell so aibu or is it rude not to ask?!

OP posts:
skullbabe · 25/08/2017 17:55

I understand OP - I've been known to hold on to a poo for hours till I could find a safe loo. I also struggle with people pooing in other people's and public loos - but I have realised this is an issue for me. My other half always thought me odd - we'd have to hurry home if I needed to go. I was horrified when I first met my in law family and they all poo'd after Sunday lunch and everyone knew it. Shock Any way - it's normal for people to poo in a toilet - so long as they keep it clean.

shallichangemyname · 25/08/2017 18:00

@confidentlyunhinged you have made my day with your comment ruminating over how someone does a brazen shit. I actually spat over my steering wheel (in a car park waiting for DS). I love this thread, it's totally bonkers!!!

Mittens1969 · 25/08/2017 18:04

We insisted on porta loos when we had our extension done, so that we didn't have builders coming through the house to use our bathroom. Not because I find the idea of them using the toilet disgusting or anything like that, but because my DDs were 5 and 2 then and I was a SAHM, and I didn't want the intrusion for weeks on end.

We also had a painter decorator on and off during that time, and he did use our facilities as do workmen generally. But I've never had the problem of them messing up the toilet, that would be gross! You should leave it as you find it definitely!!

Whinesalot · 25/08/2017 18:16

This old chestnut again.

What is all the angst with a perfectly natural body function?
As long as its left as they find it - so what?

Senac32 · 25/08/2017 18:16

If we have wormen at our house I always show them the downstairs toilet.
They often reply - it's OK, we'll go round the back. (In rural France , in the back field.) Grin

Senac32 · 25/08/2017 18:17

ps workmen not wormen.

Leeah12 · 25/08/2017 18:18

When you need to go then you've got to go!
As long as he didn't leave the loo in a state then let the poor man have a poo that he needed!
I would be more embarrassed if the person asked! Just go and leave a window open! 😂

Maireadplastic · 25/08/2017 18:25

Would you be happier with a male oncologist's poo, OP? Be honest.

DW1973 · 25/08/2017 18:25

😂😂😂

Wilburissomepig · 25/08/2017 18:33

Christ on a bike, don't be so fucking ridiculous!

Would you rather the poor fella had shat in the front garden?

DagenhamRoundhouse · 25/08/2017 18:37

At least he didn't urinate on the front drive in front of children, like a builder who worked for clients of the architects firm I worked for!

QueSera · 25/08/2017 18:37

I really had no idea that poo and pooing were a source of so much angst, anxiety and trauma for some people! It's like discovering a whole new world!

Cuppatea85 · 25/08/2017 18:38

I hAve no idea why this would be an issue. It's a bodily function and we all do it. Even you OP. Poor guy has probably been humiliated over this. God forbid you or your friend are ever caught out somewhere 'not acceptable!' It's a toilet for crying out loud Confused

Lovelymess · 25/08/2017 18:39

WHEN you need to go you gotta go! As long as they flushed it's no biggie

IDoDaChaCha · 25/08/2017 18:43

I'd expect someone working in my home to ask to use the loo, as a courtesy. It's polite. And I would never say no. But I'd be annoyed if they didn't clean up after themselves (I had a housemate years ago who used to leave the loo poop-streaked despite being asked to clean up after himself and it made me want to kill him...).

Tonebone · 25/08/2017 18:44

Come back OP we need more of your thoughts!
I'd love to know which toilets you think men should poo in when out and about....
Tesco - yes? ............Waitrose - no!

mumof3boys33 · 25/08/2017 18:46

This post has made me laugh. I didn't read every page. I get visions of a grown man saying "please can I go for a poo?" 😂
Maybe he was embarrassed to need a poo at someone else's house and thought he'd sneak in without being noticed.
Must admit I wouldn't take a poo at someone else's house. I can wait. But I almost die of embarrassment when we go to dinner at someone's house and my OH disappears to the bathroom after eating. He's usually gone long enough to know he's not weeing. He says he can't help it and can't wait. Maybe I shouldn't be embarrassed but I am.
Now if a workman dumped in my toilet I would probably go in and put some bleach round but I wouldn't mind. I'd be even more embarrassed if he said "can I take a poo in your toilet?!" 😂😂

IDoDaChaCha · 25/08/2017 18:48

A decorator once clogged my loo with a giant poo (I didn't see it but he came to me sheepishly asking for a wire coat hanger...). I wasn't bothered at all as once I'd given him the coat hanger he dealt with poo-gate without any assistance... And the bathroom looked no different afterwards. Thankfully he didn't offer the coat hanger back when he was finished with it Grin

PinguForPresident · 25/08/2017 18:53

This whole "no-one may poo in my loo" thing is dreadfully Hyacinth Bucket. Utterly classless to give a shit (yeah yeah, pun absoltuely intended) about the toilet visits of a person working in your home.

Having a poo in a toilet is neither vile, dirty, nor disgusting. It's absolutely, dull-as-you-like normal.

Try not to pass your poo isssues on to your kids, OP. Seriously.

Crummyfunnymummy · 25/08/2017 18:55

When I lived in a flat and had a workman over for a job which took about an hour, he spent about 25 mins in my bathroom. I started to wonder what on earth he was doing but then he emerged and filled my flat with the stench of his shit. It was disgusting!! I would have preferred he held on TBH, or if unable to then have a courtesy flush or open a window at least. And I was not happy he'd spent so long in my bathroom. It seems to suggest he wasn't caught short, but rather thought he'd take a nice long leisurely shit in my lovely clean bathroom!!! I thought it was very rude. When I relayed this to my colleagues they also thought it was rude. One of them said she would have reported it to his bosses!!

Athome77 · 25/08/2017 19:03

I work for social serivces, I visit lots of homes some days, you don't know how difficult it is to find a house where you won't get complained about for needing to use the toilet/ or its clean enough, some houses are really bad. I plan some days around being able to stop by various supermarkets/fast food resturants to use the toilet.

I've never had a tradesman leave a mess nor would I ever refuse them the use of a toilet as I know how difficult it can be. There is no where in my village to use toilets unless you go to a pub- which aren't always open and aren't happy with you using toilets and not being a customer (think only corner shops, no mc d's/ KFC/Tesco etc)

strawberrisc · 25/08/2017 19:04

Mumof3boys33 in my head he's clutching his cap in his hands while he asks Grin

starlight13 · 25/08/2017 19:10

YABU - do you really expect an adult to ask if they can do a poo? You are also being highly snooty and generally not a nice person imo. Have some respect and manners.

wawawawawa · 25/08/2017 19:11

I once did a rather smelly poo in a public toilet and a little girl who was in the next cubicle with her mum said "mmmmm that smells nice. Doesn't it mummy". Mum replied "Um that smell is poo honey". It was like winning an academy award for best poo!

riceuten · 25/08/2017 19:11

Some people are really anal [sic] about loo usage. I would probably delegate the downstairs loo for them as most convenient, but if they were working upstairs and needed to go...all I want is a happy and relaxed workman (or woman) concentrating on the task in hand, and if that means letting them use the facilities, so be it. I honestly have known people refuse people who are WORKING ON THEIR HOUSE to use the loo, sending them to the nearby pub. If you want a bodged job done without a care, that more or less guarantees it.