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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 22:17

Ladygracie- 'why should anyone other than the driver pay the fine?'

Answer - because it's the nice thing to do.

ohnowhatcanido · 21/08/2017 22:17

Only £10 in a taxi to get home, you can't have been far!!

BMW6 · 21/08/2017 22:17

If you chipped in for petrol I would say she WBU to expect passengers to cough up for HER illegal parking - she must have known she was illegally parked (or should have) so her responsibility.

If you didn't pay towards petrol I'd say that edges you into freeloader territory, so passengers should cover parking fees.

As for throwing you out of the car - I presume you were still in town and not in the middle of nowhere?

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:17

Yeh I was near buses and a tube but felt abit vulnerable due to what I was wearing that I didn't really fancy waiting around on the street. Especially since men were already trying it on with me.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 22:18

I did drink but wasn't drunk but I will go back to surely it's worst to kick a drunk female out of a car

Ok so what do we have here.

Was I unreasonable to not contribute
Mumsnet yes
Op, but I think she was worse.

Two wrongs don't make a right. You were both shit.

ohnowhatcanido · 21/08/2017 22:18

Struggling to see why anyone would drive a shortish distance, and park in central London anyway! If you all shared a £10 cab home surely it would have been much easier?!

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:19

I would have kicked you out. I guaranteee you were more drunk than you think, esp since she was sober.

Drunk people, people who have had drink but think they aren't drunk even, are mouthy and argumentative and it tries my patience to give them lifts. Especially given how you are reading on here with the capitals I'd bet my last pound you were slabbering.

BrightOranges · 21/08/2017 22:19

Recently, someone posted asking if they were BU expecting their passenger/s to contribute to a parking fine. Most replied yes, OP should pay it because it's their responsibility as they were driving.

Fast forward to this post, most slating the OP for not contributing.

MN classic. Can't win if you do; can't win if you don't.

HiJenny35 · 21/08/2017 22:19

No I'm sorry YANBU she drove, if she didn't want to she shouldn't have, it's her responsibility, so if she had got a speeding ticket would you all be responsible for that too? She was driving she should know where to park and what she allowed. I'm always the designated driver as I don't drink, if I do something wrong that's on me as the driver, I'd never take money from people for my mistake.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:19

*replying

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:20

Why does it matter if I was far or not? It was too far to walk or would you have walked at 4am in a dress and high heels in the dark with men trying to chat you up?? I felt
It was safer getting a cab. If anything happened to me
It would have been "well why did you walk home" and to add yes we did pay petrol before setting off.

OP posts:
buddhasbelly · 21/08/2017 22:20

What your friend did wasn't right.

But how far does £10 taxi journey get you from your location in central London that is unfamiliar? Asking not to be sarky - but wouldve thought £10 wouldnt get you get so you would indeed know the area? (I don't know London at all and taxis in my area are v expensive, £10 would get you a mile!)

buddhasbelly · 21/08/2017 22:20

2nd get = far

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 22:20

By your own admission there were buses and tubes.

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 22:20

I'd also bet there was more to this story.

Oh no I've got s ticket
Oh lets all contribute
I'm sorry I can't afford it or I would
Get the fuck out my car now.

Not buying it. She stopped the car and kicked you out for something more

Tapandgo · 21/08/2017 22:20

I would have shared the fine without thinking much - it's just a nice thing to do so your pal, who has done you a favour, doesn't bear the total burden of the nights mistake. So £10 to get there and £10 to get back by taxi- at the very least you could have contributed £20 to your friend.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 21/08/2017 22:21

You were both being unreasonable. She should never have kicked you out but you could have offered, even a token amount. I wonder if you do accept more lifts than you realise and perhaps it bugs her.

ilovesooty · 21/08/2017 22:21

Have I missed you answering if the rest of you offered petrol money?

MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 22:22

Ffs! I can't actually believe there are more people out there that would refuse to pay. It's such a shit feeling to get a ticket. I have cried before. Most Londoners who run cars accept there'll be at least one ticket a year as there's SO many restrictions, yellow boxes, bus lanes that have different timings on them etc, you literally cannot keep within the regs 100% if you're driving here regularly. Her stomach would literally have dropped to see that ticket and know she had to find that lump of money especially after she'd driven everyone door to door. Are you a friend or not????

PoorYorick · 21/08/2017 22:22

£10 in a Hackney carriage in central London? That would have been about two tube stops.

londonrach · 21/08/2017 22:22

You should have offered money for petrol at the very least, as take it this has happened before hence her reaction. Yes you should have offered re ticket. Was the cost of your share of the ticket worth losing a friend. In theory she shouldnt have parked to get a ticket but in this case...offer to share the cost. If she offers you a lift again offer petrol money!!! Yabu

WeAllHaveWings · 21/08/2017 22:22

As a driver I would never expect passengers to pay for my parking ticket unless it was agreed to park there for convenience and split the ticket if we got one in advance. It's is totally unreasonable to expect passengers to check I have parked legally.

That said I would probably have offered to split the ticket to keep the peace, but made sure they knew it was a one off.

Kicking you out of the car at 4am is a friendship deal breaker for me, you don't put your friends at risk over a parking ticket.

ilovesooty · 21/08/2017 22:22

Sorry, cross post.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 22:23

As I said I don't go to this part of london. I rarely go out I didn't even know what street I was on!

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 21/08/2017 22:23

Do you live in zone one OP? Because it costs me £15 to get to zone 2 from zone one, a distance of around three miles.