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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:

Nocabbageinmyeye · 21/08/2017 21:39

It was her fault for getting a ticket but I would have contributed, that said she is a massive bitch for kicking you out and it would be a cold day in hell before I would instigate contact with her. Wtf, friends do not do that, we always make sure we are all walked to cabs/cars/lifts, friends never leave each other stranded in the middle of the night so her behaviour totally over shadows everything else, she's some bitch

arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 21:39

I would have offered to split too.

I also would know how much the parking ticket was, because as one of the non drivers you should definitely have been sorting and paying for that.

Did you expect the driver to pick you up, pay all costs related to driving a car herself, and drive you home?!?

Papafran · 21/08/2017 21:40

Yeah, you should have chipped in. I think the highest fines I have seen are £45 or something so it would have been the same or less than the cab. She should not have kicked you out, but I have been the designated driver many times with absolute piss-takers who expect me to drive them around while they treat me and my car like rubbish. So maybe she was at the end of her tether.

pictish · 21/08/2017 21:40

Why should she pay it all?
Because she parked the car.

Unless OP and friends were insisting she park illegally, I don't see how they had anything to do with the driver's poor choice of parking space.

This place is mental sometimes...if I take my friends out then park like a twat, earning myself a ticket, that's not their fault, it's mine!

llangennith · 21/08/2017 21:40

• You're right in saying it's the driver's responsibility to park legally. Her sister was being generous to offer to pay a share of the fine. What did the other passenger say?
• You could certainly afford to contribute so don't try that excuse.
• Your friend was completely out of order and spiteful to evict you from her car.
So what are you going to do now?
It doesn't matter what we say here, do you want to keep this friendship or not? Personally I'd dump anyone who'd kick me out of the car in the middle of nowhere at 4am but it's your dilemma not mine.

DillyDilly · 21/08/2017 21:40

If you couldn't afford the £20, couldn't you have offered a lesser amount.

Do you often get lifts with your friend - maybe she snapped because she's always giving lifts without anyone offering to reimburse costs.

Witsender · 21/08/2017 21:40

I wouldn't have kicked you out, but I think it is safe to say she is feeling a wee bit used. I used to always be the driver and it really grated, especially as your attitude seems to be that it is perfectly reasonable for her to be the driver, and that you bear no responsibility towards helping.

Witsender · 21/08/2017 21:41

I would automatically offer, a sum that I could afford.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/08/2017 21:43

She always drives, as the other three of you can't. (Poor woman, always having to be the sensible driver)

Do you contribute petrol money? And parking costs?

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:44

No I don't always get lifts as I said very rare night out but she goes out every weekend and always drives everyone. (Not me usually.) anyway not sure why she was saying everyone needs to pay £20 then. Guessing she was planning on pocketing some so feel even more glad I didn't pay then.

OP posts:

pigeondujour · 21/08/2017 21:44

£20 each? £80? Been years since I had a parking fine but that can't be right surely.

Kicking you out completely outweighs the admitted unreasonableness on your part. End of friendship, I'd say.

DancesWithOtters · 21/08/2017 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Foslady · 21/08/2017 21:45

I wouldn't have kicked you out but o doubt that you'd of got any more lifts off me - especially being the one who has to stay sober on a clubbing night out. Even if you'd have said you'd have given her the money on payday. I somehow think that this is going to end up costing you much more than £20..,,,including friendships......

arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 21:46

It depends how the fine was arrived at Pictish.
Eg 1 Parking across the line, drivers fault.
Eg 2 driver bought a ticket, but everyone late back to car, because someone slow getting out of club - not drivers fault
Etc
How did she get the fine op?

Witsender · 21/08/2017 21:46

You clearly don't like her, so no loss to her really hey. As you are clearly not part of the posse she maybe felt you were being ungrateful by being the one to kick off about it.

Most tickets start at 60, 80 or 100 and then go down to half if you pay in 2 wks, so she probably saw the £80 and was talking about that. I'm sure if you had offered the tenner that you clearly had available as a gesture it would have been fine.

Foslady · 21/08/2017 21:46

Ah - it also sounds like it's the 'she's richer than me so sod her'.

I don't think she's lost much by losing you as a friend

pictish · 21/08/2017 21:48

I think kicking someone out of the car after having a shit fit because they didn't want to pay the fine you brought on yourself, is revolting behaviour. What a madam!

SolomanDaisy · 21/08/2017 21:48

You were unreasonable saying you wouldn't pay (especially since you could have done as you could afford a taxi).

But I think chucking a friend out alone, miles from home at 4 am is unforgivable. Yours was just being a bit stingy, she could have put you in serious danger.

AntiHop · 21/08/2017 21:49

Yanbu! It was not your job to check she had parked appropriately. Unless you had volunteered to check where she had parked was an appropriate parking spot and got it wrong, or you had delayed leaving the club leading to the ticket, it is not your responsibility.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:49

I think she just parked somewhere she shouldn't have as she didn't pay for parking or anything.

OP posts:

Aashna7 · 21/08/2017 21:49

YABVU and you should have offered to contribute. Do you have no shame?
Personally I wouldn't have thrown you out of the car at 4am, but it would be the last time I drive you anywhere!

Youvegotafriendinme · 21/08/2017 21:50

I'll disagree with most posters and say, no you shouldn't have to contribute to the fine. Shes the driver, she should take responsibility for where and how she parked.
If she got the fine because no one/one of you wouldn't leave when she said and then the ticket expired, that's different and you should contribute.
Yes she did a favour and drove you all but she didn't have to, she could have taken cab

missmollyhadadolly · 21/08/2017 21:50

YABU. You should have paid.

She was perfectly entitled to chuck you out, as long as you were not in danger.

You're a user, not a friend.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/08/2017 21:51

Op - from the drivers pov, she has the highest cost involved in going to the club, she also (probably given the nature of clubs) had the shittest time because she has to stay sober. Not really fair is it?

I assume everyone offered her petrol money, paid their share of the initial parking ticket, and didn't expect to go round for round with her soft drink vs their alcoholic ones?

I'm thinking possibly not, and possibly this was the straw that broke the camels back.

Original poster

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:51

It was bad tbh as I was obviously dressed up for clubbing and didn't have a coat so standing on the street at 4am in an unfamiliar area was pleasant. Btw this was central london.

OP posts:

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