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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This situation

515 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 21/08/2017 21:28

I went out with my friend on Saturday night. Rare for me as I hardly ever go out. We went to a club had a good time then got to her car and she had a parking ticket. She was pissed off and moaning about how it's unfair that she has to pay out and none of us do as none of us drive except her (there was 4 of us out.) we get in the car and her sister suggests that we all pay some of it spilt between us. I said I couldn't as I don't have the money to pay out and it's not my fault she parked where she shouldn't have anyway she went ballistic! Because I refused. And kicked me out of her car at 4am in the middle of the street. Literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and told me to get out. I was miles from home and had to get out and ended up having to call a cab to pick me up. I haven't spoken to her since. Wibu for not contributing?

OP posts:
grannytomine · 24/08/2017 09:09

GnomeDePlume any of those other reasons would not have left the OP alone at the side of the road at 4 am.

IneedaMagnum, you think morally it was OK to throw her out of the car alone at 4 am. Funny morals.

Ceto · 24/08/2017 09:13

Figures for sexual offences from the British Transport Police demonstrate very little, particularly given the tens of thousands of people travelling on public transport every day. In statistical terms, the risk of injury was actually higher travelling by car.

StarryCorpulentCunt · 24/08/2017 09:28

I cant believe you people. So if I go the way of some very lovely posters here and offer to give one of you a lift somewhere but I park illegally, is it then down to you to pay half my fine? OP had no say in where they were parked so why the fuck should she fork out £20 for someone else's bad judgement? Just because she had a tenner doesn't mean she could afford to spend it. I have £30 in my purse right now but if I was stranded and forced to spend it on a cab, we wouldn't be eating much this week. She set a budget for fun like most people and shouldn't be forced to go over it because her twat friend could do with a highway code refresher.

Steeley113 · 24/08/2017 09:34

I think I'd of been pissed off if I'd of driven someone, watch them splash out on a night out while I remained sober and then they flat out refused to pay a share of a fine without even a 'I'm really sorry' or an offer to pay it when they can. I don't think I'd dump my friend out of the car but I don't think I'd speak to them again.

grannytomine · 24/08/2017 09:34

British Transport Police figures aren't that relevant as she was left on a public road. Ask a police officer if they would be happy with their daughter being kicked out of a car at 4 am and I think they would tell you they wouldn't be happy. If they think that is a good idea I can only assume police attitudes have changed since my day.

Being kicked out on a motorway is terrible as well. Leaving someone to walk down the hard shoulder for miles is a diabolical thing to do.

Sallystyle · 24/08/2017 09:36

I think the funniest part of this thread is where a poster says the OP should have just told the men to stop chatting her up because they are massively respectful Grin

Sure, some might be but if I was getting chatted up by a group of drunk men at 4.00am and I was on my own I wouldn't be sticking around to see how massively respectful they are. My experience is that most men in that situation don't know the meaning of the word respect.

OP I would have helped to pay for the parking fine personally. Kicking you out makes her a bastard and I would never forgive that. Unless someone is putting me in danger I would never, ever kick anyone out of the car at 4.00am.

The nit picking on this thread is utterly pathetic. But it is MN where people have to twist everything to try to catch people out.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 24/08/2017 09:40

Only on mumsnet have I seen that you should chip in for a parking ticket.

Does it also count for a speeding ticket? So if Ops friend was doing 50 on a 30 and received a speeding ticket via the post should they all had to help pay?

No you shouldn't have had to pay unless you specifically said park here it fines you won't get a ticket.

As for leaving you stranded shows her true colours end the friendship.

Sallystyle · 24/08/2017 09:44

Sorry but you're not a friend, you're a freeloader.

Sorry, but you're a bit stupid.

OP paid petrol costs. I assume her friend could have said no if she didn't want to give people a lift. If I offer to drive people anywhere it's because I don't mind. I am not freeloading when my friend gives me a lift somewhere and they aren't freeloading when I do the same.

Her friend parked illegally. It's her fault. I would have offered to pay towards the fine personally but I would never expect anyone to pay if I parked illegally. OP's friend's car, she chose to drive OP, her responsibility to park correctly. OP offering would have been kind but she is under no obligation to pay towards a fine that was her friend's fault.

How is the OP a freeloader? She isn't, is she? Some people just like an excuses to be arseholes. If the OP's friend had posted this she would have got a lot of shit. It's the way it works. OP is pretty much always wrong, entitled, a freeloader or any number of insults.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 24/08/2017 09:45

devils op is a freeloader? How?
They all gave £5 for petrol before the journey which is plenty in my eyes. They didn't have to pay for parking.
Her friend got the ticket for her shit parking. And because OP wouldn't pay part of the ticket she's a freeloader? Oh ok. Makes sense.

ForeverLivingMyArse · 24/08/2017 10:12

Duck me there's some right bankers here.

Op I think you should have offered to contribute . You aren't obliged to but I would have in your situation just to keep the peace.

Chucking you out like that was shitty. Only you were there and only you felt your feelings and done what you felt was right to get home. Fucked if I'd be walking over 2 miles at 4am in clubbing clobber. I can't believe there's women here trying to deny another woman her feelings on being alone at night.

RestingBitchFaced · 24/08/2017 10:32

I can't believe what a hard time the OP is getting here! Yes, it would have been nice if you to contribute (though I would be annoyed about it), but your so called friends were totally out of order, considering you had already paid towards petrol. I wouldn't bother being friends with people like that. The arguing on this thread is ridiculous Confused

GnomeDePlume · 24/08/2017 21:45

The reason the OP has not had an easy ride on this is that at no point has she come back with the thought that there are other legitimate views than her own.

It hasn't come across as AIBU more as IABR everyone must agree with me.

VforVienetta · 24/08/2017 22:35

Not a full moon is it? I'm finding a lot of these responses very harsh!

OP it would have been the polite thing to contribute to the ticket, but by no means was it your responsibility.
All of these 'freeloader' comments make no sense. You'd paid towards petrol. There was no parking charge.
HOnestly, some people are acting like she gave you a lung, not a lift.

I imagine it was her stropping about getting a ticket that started the row, her sister naturally took her side, the DP stayed quiet, and for some reason you weren't quick enough with the old synapses to realise she'd be shitty enough to kick you out, so rowed back.

Fucks sake - its not ok to be unexpectedly dumped in an unfamiliar area in the small hours in a major city, esp when you're very obviously on your way home from a night out. I've been mugged in similar circs, and had many a nervous walk home. So far from ideal.

IMO YANBU, she was hugely BU to dump you out, but you could've handled it better. She was still doing you a favour driving you home, regardless of the petrol contribution, so it would've been wise to be conciliatory, even if you'd just said you'd get the money to her later to keep her happy.

Either way, you don't leave a mate stranded out of spite. Bin her and don't give it another thought.

Pardalis · 24/08/2017 23:23

Kicking you out their car was pretty unreasonable but....

Your response to the situation was.

If as you claimed you weren't drunk then all you had to say was:

'What's the penalty charge for early payment, let's sort it out when we get back'

It didn't have to be paid on the spot, the driver was pretty annoyed at getting it - understandably. It is an enraging moment.

Your uber from central London to home is £10 at 4am. I know that means you don't live very far away. The only excuse for getting in a tizz about where you were and how to get home would be that you've lived there for less than 6 months. Uber driver wasn't 'doing you a favour'. They have no control over pricing. You live in London, unless you are a recluse you know how to get home. It's London 101

I get myself home from central London all the time. Sometimes uber, sometimes night bus. It's easy. Your phone can work it out. And I live in zone 5. Idiots can be ignored. CCTV is everywhere. I rarely get hassle and I rarely see other women hassled.

As for the driver - make peace, for the sake of a few quid you can have more nights out. Friends are important

grannytomine · 25/08/2017 09:38

I rarely see other women hassled. Funnily enough rapists and murderers pick their moments, they don't generally like witnesses.

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