Would you move to America if you were me?

[BenDuck]

DP is from the US and we have talked for a while about going to live there (East coast) and the conversations are now getting more serious, he is starting to look for jobs etc. I'm still feeling really conflicted though. Part of me wants to, mostly because I fucking HATE brexit and like to be away from it all but also because we would be able to afford a really lovely house there. There is loads of stuff that bothers me though- having to drive everywhere, lower food standards, Trump.
I also worry about my position legally. I'm currently a SAHM but earn a little doing evening work (that I wouldn't be able to do there) so would be v reliant on DH. Esp. as would be hard to get a working visa. I worry about what would happen were we to divorce- would I be stuck there unable to bring DC back to UK (they have dual citizenship)?
Anyone been in a similar boat???

finderkeeper I love how this thread has flushed out all the Brits in the US. It's great finding British people over here. I go to the meat counter in Hannaford just because there's a British guy who works there.

I love how we're all so defensive of Murica!

Idaho sounds amazing. I'd be down for that. Oh, and I've never said cockwomble or any of those words in real life.

We do drink and moan a lot though.

Let's do MUMSNET AMERICA MEET UP! For ex pats and American mumsneters alike.

Sure! We just can't do it in Boston, since we're all terrified of driving there. :D

Thanks all don't want to thread derail but we are all really excited. We are living in roscoe village/lakeview, it looks a family friendly area. Our container arrives this morning. I may well have threads of my own to post in the future as I work out how things are done over there!

Lovely area, very nice for families, close to the Lincoln Park Zoo and the lakeshore.

Love Chicago :)

Oooh yes I would love to do a Mumsnet meetup! I've been on MN for 8 years or so (I think) and I have so many FB friends from here and my birth groups and they're always having meet ups and going to weddings and ughhhhh I NEVER GET TO GO. :(

I posted earlier but one thing to consider!!
If you or your DH works check the leave entitlement, I got 2 weeks holiday for the WHOLE YEAR. That included Christmas. Some of the larger companies are better, especially when you've been there a while. It's something I wasn't aware of before I moved out there but the Uk is actually very very generous with holiday (I got 42 days in my last job, it's very European).

Just to make you all jealous - I go to Chicago for work conferences. Only about once a year, and I rarely get more than one free evening (if that) but still manage a walk up the Mag Mile.

If we did a meet up in Idaho, can we sing "we're all living in our own private Idaho"?

@KickAssAngel - you do go to Garrets and get the Chicago Mix popcorn while you are strolling the mile, right? If not, you are really missing out! it looks like it would be hideous, but is utterly fab!

Yes, you certainly can sing Private Idaho! But only after you have each said something totally British. (I had to tell a group of exchange students - who all learn British English - that they should NEVER ask for a rubber here.) I promise to make something with potatoes.

I've had braces for the last 4 years, so couldn't eat popcorn. However, I had ONE day between braces and retainers (seriously!) when I bought a huge sharing bag of cheese & caramel popcorn and ate it all myself.

"Tally ho old chap! We're running a tad late so meed to shake a leg" - British enough for you? or do you prefer the "bollocks!" style of Brit-slang?

I've never been to Idaho so I'm up for that. I grew up in the US South but went to university in Scotland so my phrase will be slainte mhath, y'all.

Kickass I wore braces as an adult so I do sympathize.

I've never been anywhere near Idaho.

Told dh I'm going to Idaho for a mumsnet meetup and he's convinced I'm leaving him.

Every now and then when we've had a row I'll yell "well mumsnet think you're a wanker too and say I'm right!"

Not sure you'll all fit in my backyard. But you would love Idaho!

vimeo.com/193920206

Alternatively, Yellowstone National Park is about 6 hours from where I live and would be a great meetup spot.

Definite no from me. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. I travel to the US a fair bit for work and am not a fan. OP I guess it depends on how often you've been there and how your kids would find the culture and school system. As a random point - I have met plenty of genuinely nice Americans but I can never get past the generic 'HI HOW ARE YOU' it grates me and i can never tell at first if people are being genuine - the forced niceties irritate me so much.

Maternity leave - weeks, not months
Holiday - 2-3 weeks is the norm
Part-time professional jobs - unheard of
One week's notice in general.

It's a difficult place for a woman at the start of her career if that applies to you.

Oh yes yellowstone.....

Sarah sue ** dont come back then you miserable madam.

@finderkeeper i actually quite like america and plus i get paid to spend time there yaaaay for me! don't take it so personally - this isn't real life and i don't know you - it's just an anonymous chat forum!

Well it is real life scenarios but you know what i mean

I'm not british but am Irish and living for years in Boston area. I love it here. Bit baffled at the fear of boston driving - I find Boston drivers a bit slow off the mark actually. What does this say about my driving???

Some of the comments on this thread are very specific to living in particular areas - rural etc. I live within 5 miles of Boston/Cambridge. Between May and Nov I can go to a different farmers market each day of the week in my city/neighbouring towns that are 5 minutes drive or 20 mins walk away. Have a Whole Foods in walking distance and trader Joes, wegmans etc all within 10 mins drive. My neighbour grows tomatoes, beans, peas, herbs, lettuce in her front garden for the entire neighbourhood to use. We shovel snow for each other every winter - the elderly woman 2 doors down has never had to worry about clearing her path. I have been employed as a part-time professsional on a flexible work week, working from home when it suits. Loads of professional women in my company were the same (it is harder to find flexible work as a non professional in my experience). We take more than 3 weeks holiday a year.

That said, for the OP, I would be most concerned about the question of children and permanent residence etc. I love it here but moving/emigrating was the single hardest thing I have ever done. I really wouldn't want to be stuck in the US because of my children if I was unhappy here.

Sarah Sue, since you seem a bit baffled by the cheery "hi how are you" - people are genuinely being polite and literally saying Hi How are you? No they don't want to marry you, be best friends with you or contribute to your crowdfunding if you aren't feeling very well and want a spa break. They are being polite. What does "Hi how are you?" mean in the UK?? I thought it was the same thing. is it that they don't say it in a morose bored tone?

Call the American Embassy in London and start the process to get your green card, which will make you a Legal Resident Alien. There will be application forms to complete and you will undergo a medical exam, blood tests, chest X-Ray. Once you are an Alien Resident (green card holder) you will have the same rights as an American citizen, except the right to vote.

You can buy organic food or grow your own. There are many places in the US where you can walk or bike to work or shopping. It is a beautiful country with lots of different climates and places to visit.

Trump is not a problem here.

If you get divorced you will be able to stay on in the US with a green card, the only issue being you cannot leave the US for more than 6 months at a time.

@pallisers i just don't like it and i don't think it's genuine and it irritates the fuck out of me. I accept that people are taught it is polite so that's why they say it but saying it in automode to every single stranger you meet is creepy to me - it makes me think of stepford. Shudddddder. America is a beautiful country but I find the culture a bit invasive sometimes, I'm not moody in real life promise! Just not for me. And that's not touching on the guns, healthcare, trump etc etc etc. Not sure what to else to say really - I personally wouldn't live in America, that's me, doesn't mean i have an issue if anyone else does, go for your life and crack on! Just my opinion - sorry!

Sarahsue1 I don't get how you can say you're "not a fan" of the US then follow up by saying you "actually quite like America." Make up your mind dear.

All countries have good and bad points but as I've repeatedly pointed out OP's husband is American so it's not a random move to a random country and culture. Her kid are 1/2 American, their family live there too, etc.

As someone in a very multicultural marriage with many countries involved, I think it's horrible for one partner to refuse to engage with the other partner's background and country. If you don't want to do that, marry the boy from your hometown and stay there forever.

@newbian i like the states for work when i go there and i like the different beautiful landscapes there. I also have good friends there. I just don't want to LIVE there christ! Not everyone who likes somewhere from time to time but not for home is anti that place. It's ok to have positive and negative feelings about the states - not a huge deal in the real world.

Sarah feel free to express your "I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than live here" attitude next time you visit. I'm sure you'll find the friendly hellos will dry up quite quickly saving you the hassle of that as well.