DS wants to change his first name due to teasing

[mashedpotatoes]

My DS has said for a few years that he doesn't like his first name but for the last year he has been getting teased at school because it rhymes with something insulting and he reacts aggressively when this happens.
Over the summer holidays he has chosen two names which he says he prefers rather than his real name. One day he says he prefers one name and the next day it's the other name.
I would be completely happy for him to change if he wants to, but what concerns me is the reaction of everyone else. To start with, I don't think DH is 100% convinced. As a new school year is approaching I think September would be a good time to do it, but I'm not sure how to go about it and if his school friends will accept it.
Does anyone have any advice?

There are variants of the name Owen he could choose from unless he already has a new name in mind!? I changed my name at 17, sometimes regret it and wish I'd found a nickname instead iyswim.
Owen is a lovely name very unfortunate that in French it sounds like the word for idiot! But from a kids point of view that is rather hard to deal with.

www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Owen

I' m confused it must be late! C as in 'con' would be a k sound but how does that resemble c like an ss sound? Completely different pronunciation ?

Are you French Snickers?

Owen is a fine Welsh name. And did hear that Kevin is a fashionable name in France. Know which one I'd prefer. You have to get the school behind your son and you. But if he does decide to change, he will need you and school even more.

Being the victim of name hell in the UK at aged 11 in 1987 myself (yes my parents named me Kyley in the 1970s when very few people had heard of it & yes, I have heard every Minogue related joke there is & had many people sing various Kylie pop songs at me - some drunk, some much more sober, depressingly - and yes, it is a total nitemare that it isn't spelt the way people expect it to be!) I can completely relate to Owen - French version - being not intended to sound like CON & that this may be an insult only fashionable now for this (particularly infuriating, difficult, hormonal) period of your DS life.
Here's my two cents: eventually Owen will be a cool name again, trust me (someone may to have to wear gold hotpants to achieve this but watevs - if it helps) & really just be there for him thru this bull poo, boost his confidence however you can, let him change name if he wants & say he just prefers whatever his new name is. Then totes style it all out - flip back to Owen aged approx. 16 & mysteriously mention that he cannot confirm why the change due to the pending investigation / case, but he had to change name so identity wasn't compromised, be the one who wears the gold hot pants so no one's bothered about the Owen CON thing anymore, "re-invent" himself as Owen once he goes to uni away from home - I recommend the UK, many lovely unis, Owen a perfectly normal name here & he obviously can speak French & English.

Finally tell him to ignore the haters cos Owen is a pretty cool name & introduce him to GLEE. We're all one-off individuals at end of the day & there's nothing like a sing song to make us feel better!!

Morning, in the French alphabet the letter C, as we would say "see" when spelling something out, would be "say".

So "c'est Owen" would sound like "say oh enn" = C-O-N.

So like tell English alphabet goes

Ay
Bee
See
Dee
Eff
Gee

etc etc

The French alphabet goes

Aah
Bay
Say
Day
Eh
Eff
Jee
Hash

Etc etc.

Jay
Ash

That should be, before someone corrects me. Not that it matters for the explanation.

For Pete's sake people.
C'est Owen
Sounds like
Say...oh...enn
Which is a French pronunciation of the letters C, O and N...

Not that "Owen" somehow can be pronounced "con"!
The closest equivalent I can think of is a kid called Ewan Tee and kids shouting out 'i can see Ewan T' because that sounds a teeny bit like "I can C..U...N...T...".

PS of course it's easy for me to say, being now a) an adult, b) my namesake has been cool again for several years, c) I still have a pretty unusual / unique / pretty name but now there is an occasional person at work with the same name - this was proper weird at first, but is genuinely not so bad now I've got used to the whole "Kylie Minogue isn't the only other Kylie" thing. But yes I am known as Sara to both local cab firms, Domino's & the lovely peoplease at Starbucks (which I detest with a passion - why can't you just make me a coffee without needing my name? I've paid more tax than Starbucks has to waste my time explaining what my ruddy name is - this can be risky though, as you can forget that Sara is your name!!)

OP, let him change it. I have a gift of a surname. Changing it would have made my school years much easier. Kids may have found another jibe but it wouldn't have been the same constant and tired joke. And it wouldn't have screamed "tease me"to any passing child and drawn attention to me.

I didn't give the name to my DC.

Just invent a fake "middle " name and use that. I use my real middle name but no-one would have known when I was a child that it was on my birth certificate or not. I changed from my middle name, to my first name and then back again over about 5 years. If he eventually wants the new name, add it in. If it does not work, no real harm done. Choose another name beginning with O then it's easier.

Sorry, cross posted with a bunch of people whilst trying to think of UK example that would work 😂

Good example Birdy !

Both my Mum and I did that when we lived on the continent so my Mum is Christina CHERYL but used Christina in Spain and I'm HARRIET Sophie, but changed my name to Sophie when I was 16 as Harriet didn't work in Germany or France.
So I say go for it !

Is it like being called "Seeyuenti" ( totally made up name from non existent culture) and English ppl sniggering because it spells Cunt?

My dd went to school briefly with a girl named Snaila or something similar. I think it was pronounced Snye-la but obviously there were lots of snail jokes

They will move on and get bored eventually when they can see it isnt bothering your son anymore as hard as it maybe he needs to just try and laugh it off unfortunately if you go into the school depending on the size of the group of bullies it could just make it worse they may start calling him a mummys boy etc thats the world we live in right now 😪 My last name is wall i was teased alot about it they used to call me brick wall and reel off everything made my walls (ice cream, sausages etc) 😂 I just helped them with their stupid game they soon got bored then they found out i was from wigan and i was labelled a pie eater lol i wasnt un popular at school i had a good amount of friends so i dont think it was malicious but yeh im sure it will pass changing his name would be quite drastic and i dont think it will make a difference

MrsAMumof3 I am really glad you were allowed to change your name and I am really glad it worked out for you.

I can see the problem in French, and don't see why you can't agree to change his name if he feels more comfortable with that. Presumably you wouldn't need to make it legal/permanent until adult - just a name he's known by. As for explaining the reason - it's just that the French kids are having trouble with this English name, so he'll now be using a French one to simplify things? Might still be worth checking out how happy he is there generally tho - or is this a symptom of other bullying activities?

unfortunatly i dont think changing his name will help. if he goes to school and has changed his name they will probably get worse because they know just how much they are getting to him then. i was bullied most of my school years and if it had been about my name (well i did have one lot of bullying over my surname) if i had gone into school with a new name they would have been RELENTLESS after that. having a little cry in the corner or your face crumpling when something hurts your feelings is one thing but to change your name because of the teasing opens him up for a living hell the rest of his school years they will find it hilarious that they made him change his name and i seriously doubt it will stop. it needs tackling properly

Having worked as a secondary school teacher, I've seen first hand just how incredibly cruel kids can be. Some of the mickey taking is dire and these days, don't forget, the school are really restricted in implementing punishment especially as teachers don't get paid for detention time. And as many people seem to be under the illusion that school finishes for us at 3pm (according to the school) we don't. Marking 30 exercise books properly(which many teachers don't have time for at the weekend) it used to take me five hours. Think about it- ten minutes per book=6. 30 exercise books=5 hours. Then I'd spend large quantities of time doing lesson prep to ensure my lessons were upbeat, interesting and funny. If you have an engaged class, trust me, one kid steps out of line and the other 29+ tell them to shut up. Peer pressure!. I did notice though that some poor kids were really landed with odd names or initials made into something rude. The kids whose initials were VD and STD. The kid whose name began with Gay or Jo King, Whore(yes,seriously that was a surname), Aiden, etc. And that's just a mere few as I have to be discreet.
All I can say is personally, if my child was that unhappy then yes, I'd allow them to change their name in a heartbeat. After all, it's them that's got to listen to the name calling every day, five days a week for 32 weeks, for seven years at least. Life's hard enough at their age with raging hormones, peer pressure, school pressure, mountains of homework (should be around 3-4 per night!), looming exams and pressure to do well. I would not want to be that age again, personally. To have to lug around rucksacks of several exercise books, several heavy text books, stationery, games kit, possibly cooking ingredients/food, lunch/snacks, personal items, etc, plus walking considerable distances at school and maybe to/from school, then have to do another 3-4 hours homework per night is a tall order even for an adult.
To expect them to cope with name calling for seven years at secondary school level is too much to ask, IMHO. I've seen it have quite a detrimental effect upon several pupils, which could be so easily remedied.

OP does your son want to change school, is there a different school or does he want to stay?

Hmmm this is tricky, it seems like a 'niche' insult but I can see where you're concerned, additionally, the kids may be a hit young at the moment but when I was a student in France 'con' was used as a short form of 'connard' which means something rather more insulting along the lines of bastard or shithead.

I feel for you OP because at the age he is at his name is part of his identity, you've all know him as that name for a long time and it's part of who he is so it's difficult to imagine changing it. However, if it's going to continue to lead to bullying and distress then perhaps you have no choice. My only warning would be that to those bullies who have been 'smart' and cruel enough to develop this scheme of bullying, his name change will mark a victory for them and I doubt they will stop, they'll just find something else to bully him with or more likely refuse to acknowledge the new name. So unless you plan to move him school at the same time as the name change I don't think it will actually make any difference.

I went to school in Paris and was mocked for having an accent. "La petite anglaise" doesn't sound bad but it was the way they said it... dripping with scorn. I somehow lost the accent eventually but I'll never forget the humiliation. I was also a sensitive soul! The sensitive ones are always picked on, somehow.

Changing your son's name will only increase his tormentors ridicule. He's going to have to learn to ignore them. Poor fellow, I feel for him!