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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up?? Smile

OP posts:
horsesforcorses · 18/08/2017 13:31

It's an awkward part of a holiday abroad in some countries but by the pool? You're definitely not being unreasonable.

Nuttynoo · 18/08/2017 13:32

Depends on the country. In some parts of Europe it's normal. British and Arabic/Indian tourists tend to be really prudish about this sort of stuff.

NellieBuff · 18/08/2017 13:32

I wouldn't go topless (that would really give folk nightmares Grin) but I see no harm in anyone else going topless - each to their own.

I do remember the time we wandered onto a nudist beach by accident (my two DS were younger) and bless them didn't bat an eyelid although when tucking them up in bed at night both asked that we (myself and their father) not go nude as there was no way we could compete with the other lovely bodies on show [grim])

PollyFlint · 18/08/2017 13:32

would you sunbathe topless with you teenage DS around? (If you do, that's cool, just trying to work out why I think it's wierd

It probably seems weird to you because it's an unfamiliar scenario. In lots of countries topless sunbathing is the norm, so if it's something a family is used to seeing or doing it's not going to seem inappropriate.

Pretty sure there are naturist resorts for families, so there must be plenty of people who will strip off in front of their teenage kids. I wouldn't be keen to give it a go myself, I have to say, but it's completely personal and just down to what you and your family are used to.

horsesforcorses · 18/08/2017 13:33

I bet the person is the colour of leather too. People should be protecting their skin!

abigailgabble · 18/08/2017 13:34

I was breastfeeding in pizza express at lunchtime yesterday. how would that sit with you?

ZippyCameBack · 18/08/2017 13:34

I wouldn't care. I think choice is a great thing and although I choose not to get my baps out (too many years breastfeeding leaves me glad to be able to cover up at last), I would completely respect her choice to take her top off. I might question my choice of holiday book though, if it was boring enough for me to waste time staring at other people's breasts. Aren't you worried that she'll think you're a bit odd?

MetalMidget · 18/08/2017 13:35

I wouldn't sunbathe topless, but I wouldn't bat an eyelid at someone who did. I'd expect it at beach resorts in most countries, especially those with a lot of mainland European guests. Used to see loads of topless women sunbathing on holiday when I was little (in the 80s!)

Oldraver · 18/08/2017 13:35

YABU.......

FizzyGreenWater · 18/08/2017 13:35

This is fine unless moobs are also banned - I assume not.

Would rather a boob than a moob to be honest

Original poster
user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:36

Well the top is back on for the first time this holiday! I wonder if she's a mumsnetter!!! Feel bad now as realising it's an issue with me not her!

OP posts:
SheWhoLivesHere · 18/08/2017 13:36

To PP, you are unlikely to get topless bathing in Turkey as it is a muslim country.

To everyone whose DPs 'wouldn't know where to look' and children who 'wouldn't be able to stop sniggering', why on earth do they find boobs so amusing? I sunbathe topless when in the appropriate country. There is no difference between my nipples and a man's nipples.

fakenamefornow · 18/08/2017 13:37

Oh I really hope this women is a bit fat and flabby. Teenagers should see what a real women's body looks like and not the perfect bodies in advertising.

Themostannoyingperson · 18/08/2017 13:37

It's probably better to have them out on a family resort. Less likely to be sexualised. I'm sure her kids have seen them before and swinsuits show a lot of bits no one normally sees.

Everyone used to get their baps out on holiday in the 80's. Made you feel more European! Feel sad that we have appeared to have gone backwards.

Original poster
user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:38

.....mmmm so just taking this allmin and realising what a prude I am. Hit a bit confused as to why the majority mumsnetters think this is cool, yet only one person on the whole resort is actually doing it??

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 18/08/2017 13:38

I think topless sunbathing is much less fashionable than it was about 20 years ago. It doesn't bother me but I wouldn't do it myself and never have.

JeNeBaguetteRien · 18/08/2017 13:39

I'm assuming that this woman doesn't have the hang ups that OP and a minority of posters have. I went on holiday with friends aged 20 and we met up with another friend on holiday in the area with family. Her mum was sunbathing topless and another of our friends asked daughter of topless woman if she could ask her mum to put her bikini top on so we could talk to her. Daughter whipped off her bikini top too and said no. Prude's face was priceless.

OP there's nothing to worry about. Don't look if you're offended. But maybe you'll come round and see it's really not a big deal.

Morphene · 18/08/2017 13:39

Awww why don't you just go for it OP? I mean whats the worst that could happen?

Original poster
user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:39

Why would people not do it??

OP posts:
Original poster
user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:40

Morpheme .... no way!!! I'm a prude remember!!!! Wink

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 18/08/2017 13:40

The reason people don't go topless is they probably don't want men leering. I had men leering at me at Centre Parks when I had a one piece Roxy swimsuit on. It's pretty horrible.

chipscheeseandcurrysauce · 18/08/2017 13:42

What's wrong with boobs? Boobs are great.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 18/08/2017 13:42

I wouldnt be comfortable with it. Im very self conscious of ny own chest due to a rare congenital issue, plus i wouldnt want my partner seeing some other womans boobs. despite their function being to feed babies tbey ARE sexualised, i wouldnt look at some other blokes penis so i dont want him looking at her tits. Its very exhibitionist of her in a family resort where there will be teen boys about at the point of puberty who will get embarrassed or potentially br unable to control a natural reaction to find them arousing. Club 18-30 fair enough, family resort no.

WellErrr · 18/08/2017 13:43

People don't do it more often because women get judged and shamed for their bodies.

As this thread has proven, really.

icedtea · 18/08/2017 13:43

I would be annoyed too. Some of us have the presence to know there is a difference between men's chests and women's breasts and the sexual arousal associated with them.