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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up??

OP posts:

Racmactac · 18/08/2017 13:19

Oh fgs. It's a pair of tits. What is there to be offended about.
Don't look if you don't like

LoniceraJaponica · 18/08/2017 13:19

Changing tack slightly, but on the last few "hot" holidays I have been on no-one went topless. I have been to Italy, Crete and Croatia BTW.

NicolasFlamel · 18/08/2017 13:19

Manly bits I assume to mean penis? All the woman have their womanly bits covered then yes? No labia randomly waving around at you? Then you're good. Relax.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 18/08/2017 13:20

User I do agree. Although admittedly I might be a bit of a prude. However yes I do think it's a little bit inappropriate to sunbathe topless in a family resort.

I could also be jealous as mine aren't perky little boobs but if I took my bikini off I'd have weird tan lines as mu boobs would be down to to my belly button.

MeltorPeltor · 18/08/2017 13:20

OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.

Has she got nipples?

COVER YOUR EYES, don't stare directly at them, it can cause blindness and insanity. Uncovered nipples are VERY dangerous, will no one think of the children? I hope you are packing and on the first flight home away from this vicious woman and her uncovered nips.

Donttouchthethings · 18/08/2017 13:20

They're just boobs. Does kids good to normalise them.

CherriesInTheSnow · 18/08/2017 13:20

Poor woman, how much have you been staring at her to know how frequently she bathes top less? You know it's perfectly legal and normal in many places?

Agree with the poster who said you need to have a look at yourself about why you're so uncomfortable. I know breasts and female bodies are hugely sexualised and TBH I might look at someone once if they were in the minority (I. e. the only person doing) but it would be more like a "wow, good for you" kind of thing.

I could not and would not allow myself to be angry at another woman for sunbathing toplessly on her holiday that she has presumably paid for and been looking forward to all year.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 18/08/2017 13:21

would you sunbathe topless with you teenage DS around? Yes, I would but then I think a naked body is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

Sunshinegirls · 18/08/2017 13:21

There was a time when I would have been a bit shy I suppose at showing my baps, but now that I'm a bit older, have breastfed 2 kids etc, I don't think about them anymore and would definitely give them an airing out on a sunny holiday.

SisterhoodisPowerful · 18/08/2017 13:21

Men have breast tissue and nipples. They also get breast cancer. Breasts aren't uniquely female. The social construction of breasts is inherently misogynistic and designed to control women's behaviour.

kittybiscuits · 18/08/2017 13:22

Tell your husband to get his wanger out so she has some company then?

EdmundCleverClogs · 18/08/2017 13:23

As others have said, men and women both have 'boobs', or more precisely, nipples and breast tissue. It's not part of the female genitalia.

How would a 15 year old feel about it? It depends what kind of family they are, some don't worry about seeing each other's bodies. There's nothing sexual to it, and quite frankly I can't see why de-sensitising the image of bare breasts is a bad thing.

CherriesInTheSnow · 18/08/2017 13:23

And its weird to ask about a mothers breasts being invisible in front of her own son I have 2 older brothers, we saw our mum naked all the bloody time, and she has a very generous bosom! Maybe it wouldn't even cross her mind to be self conscious or worry about any weirdness given that the child is her son??

Original poster

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:24

Ok ok, I'm in the dark ages then! I will try and get with the 21st century! (I'll not be getting mine out though! That would scare everyone away!!!!)

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 18/08/2017 13:25

I expect all you 'man have boobs too' don't wear bras?! Do gardening topless? Etc.

OP, I am with you on the boobs. My sons have seen mine plenty, doesn't stop them looking at others. What do you think page 3 is all about then? Men titillating themselves (yes, that's deliberate) over....you guess it...boobs! Enough feminists all over that one.

I went to Turkey this year and there were no bare boobs. Funnily enough DD is not bothered at looking at fat men's 'boobs'.

NancyDonahue · 18/08/2017 13:25

It doesn't bother me but I wouldn't get mine out.

It reminds me of the time we were on the beach in menorca. We'd been chatting to a family who were staying in our hotel for a few days. Their dc's the same age as ours played together. We sat together on the beach one afternoon and the mum whipped her bikini top off mid conversation.

Dh didn't know where to look
Dd stared
I was envious at her perkiness

Mrscropley · 18/08/2017 13:27

I would be uncomfortable trying to muffle my ds8 from laughing and my dh from staring but wouldn't bother me personally. Prob be envious if hers are suitable for public exposure tbh.

EezerGoode · 18/08/2017 13:28

Well i wouldn't like it ,not one bit.....but only because hers are probably better than mine.and if she's got them out she must be happy with her body,so I'd be well jel...🙄

CherriesInTheSnow · 18/08/2017 13:28

for what its worth I won't be getting mine out for anyone either, mine are just a bit too erogenous to me to have them wobbling about for all to see, I do liken them to my vagina and feel they are too intimate to be on full display.

But that's my personal relationship with my own breasts and not a reflection on how I expect or think other women should feel about their own bodies :) I've never been to a nude beach actually!

bigoldbird · 18/08/2017 13:28

I'm with you OP. However, I am a notorious prude😀. I would consider it was me being prudish rather than her being unreasonable though.

Katinkka · 18/08/2017 13:29

It's just boobs. Stop looking.

CabernetSauvignyoni · 18/08/2017 13:29

I expect all you 'man have boobs too' don't wear bras?! Do gardening topless? Etc.

Well I wear bras because otherwise I get nipple chafage which hurts like hell, and no I don't garden naked because who the hell wants nettle stings and weed scratches on their tits?! Not entirely sure why that's relevant

FizzyGreenWater · 18/08/2017 13:29

This is fine unless moobs are also banned - I assume not.

Would rather a boob than a moob to be honest

RideOn · 18/08/2017 13:30

I would have been more embarrassed when younger. Now I think it is just the same as flashing my upper thigh or lower back - in a swimsuit. Its only sexual if you make it sexual. So my back and thighs in a swimming costume on holiday are not sexual and it is fine with any teenagers (mine or others) being there. If I was wearing a dress with a thigh split and low back it might look sexy! if someone else was wearing it Same with breasts, I think on a sunlounger on holiday it is fine!
Men have breasts too, so do children.

GinIsIn · 18/08/2017 13:31

Well, in view of the fact if you have a DS, they probably spent the first months of their lives with one of those boobs in his mouth, why do you think it would be so horrific for them to have to see them...?

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