to be annoyed with this topless lady?

[user3785022135267845922]

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up??

[Noideawhatelseicando]

Women being top less on holiday doesn't bother me, although me and dh went to gran canaries for our honeymoon and there were women sunbathing by the pool completely naked. That did disturb me ( especially when the didn't keep their legs closed)

[ButtHoleinOne]

^.....there is always these same women who seem to think they're the best thing since sliced bread who just can't wait to get their tits out at every opportunity, appropriate or not.
Personally I think it's a think a bit grim and cheap but there you go!^

Grim and "cheap" what the fuck is your problem? Are men cheap too for taking their shirts off at the beach? Why are you policing other women's bodies because they haven't got your hang ups?
Ignorant misogynistic bullshit.

[soupforbrains]

I am MOST concerned about this.

I feel VERY strongly that someone needs to check she is using suncream.

Sunburnt nipples are absolutely AWFUL

[innagazing]

Interesting that this seems a bigger issue than it was in the eighties, when lots of women would have been topless around a family hotel pool.
Have we got more prudish since the 80's?

[CabernetSauvignyoni]

Some of us have the presence to know there is a difference between men's chests and women's breasts and the sexual arousal associated with them.

Eh? Last time I checked a photo of a topless bloke could get women very hot and bothered. The difference is women don't tend to feel entitled to stare, letch, and make foul comments to make the man uncomfortable and shamed when they see it. Men on the other hand seem to think it's our fault that they can't control their arousal and as such we're fair game. Really they ought to just practice a bit of self control, get their head out of their arses and realise our breasts aren't there to give them happy feelings.

[ButtHoleinOne]

sun burned nipples

[SheWhoLivesHere]

That's twice now that boobs have been compared to penises/ vulva. I mean really?

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

I think you are getting a hard time OP.

In an appropriate setting, topless is fine. But I know at that age my DC would have been mortified if I sat topless with them

[AltheaThoon]

And wrt the sexual arousal associated with them, as VestalVirgin says, every part of a woman's body can cause sexual arousal to some people - hair, feet, ankles, legs, stomach, neck - are you suggesting we should cover up completely all of the time, just in case we cause someone to sexually desire us? Because there are women living in the world today who are made to do just that.

Are teeny tiny bikinis preferable? Most of the breast is on show with those so it seems like the issue is not with the breast itself but with the nipple. What is it about women's nipples that is so offensive? FB operates a similar policy - male nipples, good - gene nipples, must be censored.

[Italiangreyhound]

I am guessing her teenage son could be anything from mortified to nonchalant! But it is not your issue.

It's perfectly OK for women to sunbath topless, IMHO, and very common in some countries. If she is on a sun lounger lying down, it's unlikely many people will even notice.

Plus the sun is very bad for your skin so your first priority is making sure you are sufficiently coated in sun block!

You'll find a wide vairtey of views on nudity here, from those of us who think it's horrible for teenage dcs to see their parents naked and vice versa to those who think it is is great! I do sometimes wonder if kids feel able to say, actually mum I don't like seeing you naked! If yuor brought up to think nudity is fabulous it may be quite hard to admit you don't feel the same, and vice versa.

The only real concern is your own family and how happy you all are with your own levels of nudity.

[OfaFrenchmind2]

Yabu. Indeed, boobs can be sexualised. But then so can be ankles, hair, or backs. Are you going to swaddle yourself and look at any free and confident woman the stink eye? That is happening in other countries, I am not sure we should emulate them and put back the burden of modesty and safety on women.

[ButtHoleinOne]

Do you know what gets some women more aroused than their nipples being touched? Their neck kissed. Their lips sucked. Some men are really in to feet. Butts are obviously hot make sure those are 100% covered. Oh and legs. I know lots of leg men.

So what's left? Burqa?

[PrimalLass]

Poor woman, how much have you been staring at her to know how frequently she bathes top less?

What a ridiculous comment.

[EdmundCleverClogs]

Seen one pair and you have seen them all!

Pfft, haven't seen mine. They can juggle whilst reciting the German alphabet. I'm going to take them on Britain's Got Talent next year, just have to teach them how to flip off the judges if they dare buzz them out...

[HerOtherHalf]

Ok ok, I'm in the dark ages then! I will try and get with the 21st century! (I'll not be getting mine out though! That would scare everyone away!!!!)

It's not a 21st century thing, it's a continental thing. Topless sunbathing has been commonplace in most mediterranean countries since I since I first went on holiday there over 40 years ago. If you're not used to it then it may seem strange at first but as others have pointed out, it's only boobs. Why don't you give it a try? What's not to like about an all over tan with no white patches and strap marks?

[ChiefClerkDrumknott]

plus i wouldnt want my partner seeing some other womans boobs. despite their function being to feed babies tbey ARE sexualised, i wouldnt look at some other blokes penis so i dont want him looking at her tits

Well that's for him to deal with and react appropriately, not for a woman to worry about him looking

Some of us have the presence to know there is a difference between men's chests and women's breasts and the sexual arousal associated with them.

I don't care shit about what men choose to be sexually aroused by. Today it is your breasts, tomorrow your ankles and next week your hair.

Spot on, Vestal

[Italiangreyhound]

you are not your!!

Plus, obviously agree with others, topless and nude are very, very different things.

[toldmywrath]

I'm with you OP. I'm also surprised that so many on here think it's perfectly normal. I thought it would be a 50/50 split of ok/not ok with it.

[AltheaThoon]

I don't know what gene nipples are, I meant female of course.

[DorisDangleberry]

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that bare breasts are inappropriate. We were once on holiday as a family, and the amply proportioned young lady across from my then 13yo DS removed her bikini top. He was so traumatised that since then he only speaks in grunts, spends most of his time in his bedroom or the shower, and seems to get through an awful lot of Kleenex.

[LoniceraJaponica]

I think uou are missing the point SheWho. Of course there is a difference. I can't see most men and teenage boys trying not to stare at a topless man.

Whether you agree with it or not women's boobs are viewed differently to men. Why is page 3 in the Sun so popular?

[AltheaThoon]

A woman's breasts are not equivalent to man's penis. Breasts are not genitals!

[vickyors]

I have two kids. Sunbathe topless whenever on holiday (have been on Thomson and did it by the pool). Don't have perfect boobs. Breastfed both my kids. Sure when they're teenagers they won't like it, but I grew up with parents who spoke French and Italian, and when we went on holiday my mum went topless. And, you know what, I realised if ALL British kids see is fake boobs, then we NEED to get our boobs out for kids and teenagers to see. Simple as that. Natural, or fake? Which would you want your kids to see?

[HungerOfThePine]

My boobs definetley won't get a 2nd glance so I get them out on holiday on beaches but I scope for if others are doing it so I know if it's allowed first.

I think good for her especially if she is the only one, if it wasn't allowed I'm sure someone would tell her.

[AltheaThoon]

This is the reason that Page 3 etc should be done away with. Young men are growing up with the idea that women's breasts are there solely for their enjoyment and it's NOT OKAY. Men don't own women's bodies. The male population needs educating on that.