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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up?? Smile

OP posts:
HerOtherHalf · 21/08/2017 15:56

Maybe nipple tassels are the way forward.

Handy for keeping the insects away if your twirling skills are good too.

OuchLegoHurts · 21/08/2017 15:59

Does nobody else have extremely erogenous breasts? I get incredibly turned on by my nipples and to be honest, if I was walking around with my breasts on display I would be very aroused..I'm not saying that's normal, maybe it's not, but that's a good reason for me to keep my bikini top on Blush

VeryCunningStunt · 21/08/2017 16:00

What does it matter what some random bloke on the other side of the pool thinks anyway?

All female behaviours must be perceived through the lens of the male perspective. Did you not get the memo? If a man cannot stop looking at your tits and it's causing friction with his wife. you're duty bound to cover them up out of deference.

He, conversely, is not obliged to alter his actions in any way, shape, or form. HTH Wink

OuchLegoHurts · 21/08/2017 16:01

Just to clarify, I mean it's not only men that view breasts as sexual, for some women, such as myself, it would feel too intimate and sexual to have their breasts on view...I hope that makes some sense!

mohicipesa · 21/08/2017 16:01

This reply has been deleted

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WiggleYourWoo · 21/08/2017 16:03

Female breasts are considered sexual in real life. It's only on mumsnet that they are not! 🤔

mohicipesa · 21/08/2017 16:03

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VeryCunningStunt · 21/08/2017 16:04

I am inclined to think that most men don't only view women's breasts as just a method for feeding a baby

I don't understand what that has to do with a women's view of breasts as functional vs sexual vs fuck all to do with anyone else because it's her body?

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 16:12

It is even possible to admire a nice pair of boobs without being driven into a sexual frenzy, you know

I don't think anyone said a pair of naked breasts by the pool drove men into a sexual frenzy, why take it to silly extremes Confused

I don't understand what that has to do with a women's view of breasts as functional vs sexual vs fuck all to do with anyone else because it's her body?

Some women view them as sexual, some not, the point is uou can't control what other people view them as. Just because you personally think your or others breasts are purely functional doesn't mean other men or women agree with you. You can go topless and see them as functional only, getting outraged because others think otherwise isn't going to change their views.

Hmm
BlueKarou · 21/08/2017 16:16

I also think many woman feed discreetly covering their breasts, and don't flout them! Which again makes it different I think!

Was the sunbather flouting her breasts? Jiggling them about in time to music? Or just lying there with them on display?

VeryCunningStunt · 21/08/2017 16:23

getting outraged because others think otherwise isn't going to change their views

My point is that it shouldn't matter at all how some bloke across the pool chooses to view your breasts. It's got bog all to do with him, his wife, or anyone else within eye-shot whether you choose to cover them or not, legalities allowing. Why does his view of your breasts, or breasts in general, automatically become accepted as the primary viewpoint?

Whether some random across the pool think my breasts are the sexiest breasts he's ever seen or the saddest, saggiest dugs he's ever clapped eyes on doesn't have any relevance to my decision to wear or not wear a bikini top.

fluffiphlox · 21/08/2017 16:25

I think we need to stop worrying about what the men think.

Toddlers4HenDos · 21/08/2017 16:42

I think we need to stop worrying about what the men think.
Agreed.
But what about the women who think like this too?

GladAllOver · 21/08/2017 16:48

But what about the women who think like this too?
Tell them to mind their own business and go back to their Daily Mail. At least they put blanks into over their celebs' nipples.

Emboo19 · 21/08/2017 16:49

Really this is all about women's nipples though, isn't?
When I wear a bikini my breast are still pretty much on show. The only real difference when I'm topless, is they can see my nipples! So what's so much more sexual about a women's nipples to a mans?

VeryCunningStunt · 21/08/2017 16:52

I think we need to stop worrying about what the men think

But, but someone asked their husband and he told us what 99.99% of all men in the whole world think, so as women it's our duty to allow their opinion dictate our actions, isn't it?!

fluffiphlox · 21/08/2017 17:08
Grin
Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 17:08

I think we need to stop worrying about what the men think

The op is a woman.

squoosh · 21/08/2017 17:09

Yeah, we know that.

Witsender · 21/08/2017 17:47

The OP is cross on behalf of the son, and her husband though. So cross because of the men.

fluffiphlox · 21/08/2017 17:50

I'm well aware that the OP is a woman thank you.

Toddlers4HenDos · 21/08/2017 18:07

Imagine if we all lived our lives liken the OP wants us too.

I means she is offended by boobs. But may people are offended by seeing women full stop and we would need to consider them too. The OP would be lying poolside covered head to tip toe in black, actually maybe just being out in sunlight would offend some people so she would be sitting indoors. lovely holiday.

Or we could all just realise "its not about me" and go about our lives giving no fucks and refusing to be body shamed by the likes of the OP and her uncontrollably horny man people.

motherinferior · 21/08/2017 18:08

Straight man people.

LoniceraJaponica · 21/08/2017 18:14

"I don't understand what that has to do with a women's view of breasts as functional vs sexual vs fuck all to do with anyone else because it's her body?"

You have missed my point spectacularly.

Disn3yN3rd · 21/08/2017 18:17

Boobs are boobs. I don't see the fuss. If you don't like them, don't look.

Society sexualises body parts much too much.