to be annoyed with this topless lady?

[user3785022135267845922]

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up??

well apparently 99.999999% of men find breasts sexual, so possibly even GTB men can't control themselves around the boobs. And what about the lesbians

The humble nipple has such erotic power!

Recently on holiday in Cyprus there was a woman sunbathing topless and my nephew (12) commented on it in a way that he meant he thought she should cover up. We (including my 11YO) old son then talked about why shouldn't she be able to if the men are. Well I told them that, if she wants to then it's up to her.

YABU, it's only boobs! If the laws of the country allow people to go topless, then it's her right to go topless.
How you (or others) react to the fact she's topless is your problem.

"and with her own DS around."

Why is the DS especially of note?

Isn't the DD more of a concern, if you think this is inappropriate, because the mother is setting the example for her that this is an okay thing for women to do?

Are you trying to imply that sons are more likely to be embarrassed by topless sunbathing than daughters?

If the DS is 15 and the DD is 5, I think the DS would be more likely to remember his mom's boobs already (from seeing her breastfeed the DD) so isn't the DD seeing them more of a concern (since she might have forgotten them otherwise)?

Or are you implying there's something incestuous here that can, for some reason, only happen between opposite-gender family members?

I agree with op, think it's a bit weird and inappropriate

It's biology. Watch a program on some ancient tribes, where women go topless as a matter of course and breasts have never been sexualised the males in the tribe still find them sexual. Arguing otherwise is very naive. There is no sign on a woman that says today, or uou can find them sexual, tomorrow and you, can't. You can't control other people's reactions and for straight men breasts are indeed sexual.

that's wrong and you've just made it up and it's completely cultural that western men lust after tits like a starving 5 month old.

I'm going to ask my friend if she wants to catch a few days in the sun. We can re-enact this painting, whilst pouting across the pool at Clive from Swindon.

Lady at the back:

"Put your fucking clothes on! Weirdos. Tsh"

I never realised until I read this thread that there were still women stuck in the Victorian age.
Men have always eyed up women whatever they wear or don't wear. If you don't like that, wear a burka - they are designed for the purpose.
If you wear a bikini, your breasts can be seen but with a thin cover of cloth.

If you take off the top, your nipples can also be seen. Is that so very different?

It's about context.

In a sexual setting breast can be sexual.

If I'm straddling my husband and riding him like a bull, then yeah, my breasts may be arousing and sexual in that setting. On a sun lounger surrounded by families and our own dc? Not so much!!

Its not the topless women minding their own business who are inappropriate ffs, it's the men who think a woman's breasts are always sexual and for his pleasure, regardless of how the woman feels or intends them.

I would feel uncomfortable if my Dh sat staring at a sunbathing woman's pair of tits on holiday, but it wouldn't be the woman's behaviour, it would be his, totally inappropriate of the man to make his wife and children watch him get distracted and excited at a pair of breasts. The type of man who does this, wouldn't be put off by a bikini top either, he'd still be letching and ogling, it's not the topless sunbathers problems that some of us are married to cavemen. If a man really can't be with his family, on a family holiday, in a family resort without being sexually excited by women sunbathing topless and minding her own business with her own family, then it's him who is inappropriate and probably shouldn't be in a family resort if he can't control himself.

that's wrong and you've just made it up and it's completely cultural

Omg, I am actually struggling with how ignorant you are on this subject. Women's breasts are erogenous the world over, even in tribes where there is no media. Honestly, educate yourself. And I deleted the rest of your sentence because of the crudity, there is nothing wrong with men finding breasts sexually attractive.

Why does it disturb you so much?

I deleted the rest of your sentence because of the crudity

Bless

Nobody answered my point about swimming pools though. Why don't women go topless like men there?

Oh and you're kidding yourself if you think breasts aren't sexual as well as functional (mammary glands, I think one user said!). When I'm having sex I get totally turned on by having my breasts exposed and/or touched. Don't care about my legs or arms, or stomach or back. I know for some, they'll say it does nothing for them, but try and tell my orgasm that. And if they weren't sexual (as well as functional, can't forget the breastfeeding), then there never would have been a page 3 girl and the like, would there?

Bless

Love the people so annoyed through to utterly horrified that their DH/DP might see another woman's breasts.

Unless you have personally ensured that he has no access to the internet without the safety settings up to maximum, never watches films rated over PG, never watches TV past the watershed, never casually leafs through his Dad's copy of the Daily Star, and has never seen ANY film starring Eddie Murphy from the 80's....he's seen other women's breasts.

If you think he's going to leap over the sunbeds and declare his undying love for a strange woman because she took her top off then either you have a serious problem or your DH does.

As for kids, I don't think they'll be traumatised by a woman just hanging out (so to speak) at the pool with her top off.

Completely agree with CatsAreAsshole. You'll be surprised to know how much stuff that we take for granted as "natural" and "biological" does not apply to all societies. From societies not having (or understanding the need of) prostitution, to people choosing gender without complications, to a city where most children are born "girls" and actually some develop male genitals before puberty. That must be something, equal upbringing.

CatsAreAssholes that's wrong and you've just made it up and it's completely cultural

broadblogs.com/2010/11/04/men-aren%E2%80%99t-hard-wired-to-find-breasts-attractive/

www.reddit.com/r/AskAnthropology/comments/1t0eia/is_there_any_society_that_does_not_sexualize/

(the "that's wrong..." It's the quote!)

What exactly is offensive about her breasts - are they spouting curse words as people go past?

Hahahahaha!! Rude-boobs! Sorry this made me laugh A LOt

Omg, I am actually struggling with how ignorant you are on this subject

I can tell you're correct by your use of OMG and your failure to provide evidence to the contrary.

The fact is that what is considered beautiful and sexual to the opposite sex depends on the area of the world and the particular culture you're in.

I don't know any men who find tiny deformed feet a turn on but ask a man in China around 1900 and he'd tell you how beautiful a tiny deformed foot could be.

It is a fact that men in other cultures find it hilarious that western man are in to breasts as they're for children.

Your orgasms aren't some how more really relevant than other women's So I'm not sure what your point about erogenous zones is. Yes breasts are an erogenous zone. So are my lips, my thighs, the back of my knees, my neck, my ear lobe stops before I come over all funny those don't need to be covered because unless I'm having sex they're not being sexual all the time. Do you walk around in a state on near orgasm?

If a woman can breastfeed it's proof she not having an orgasm any time her tits are loose.

And the fact is people aren't upset about women's erogenous zones being uncovered, they're upset about women's bits that men find erogenous being uncovered.

I'd argue that many of the outfits that are deemed acceptable in most workplaces, let alone outside them, are far more sexually provocative ( lipstick, figure-hugging skirt above knee, high heels, bra to ensure boobs appear perky) than a woman who happens to be topless by a pool without any accessories that emphasise her sexual virility.

The presence of a visible nipple is very little in itself, and it's importance totally overblown by the OP... The sad result is that this warped belief that visible nipples are somehow unacceptably sexual when other far more sexually potent, though marginally less revealing, outfits are fine, will reduce mothers' confidence to breast feed publicly.

I have massive norks. They draw a crowd even when covered.
No way would I expose them to the world.
What's wrong with a bit of modesty ?

What's wrong with a bit of modesty ?

Nothin if that's what you feel comfortable with. But if someone who is not as blessed of nork (or in fact significantly more blessed of nork feels more comfortable with an airing it's her business

What's wrong with a bit of modesty ?
Nothing at all. Your body, your choice what to cover. You can wear a top and shouldn't be criticised for it.

In the same way, someone who chooses not to wear a top shouldn't be criticised for it either.

OK OK so this is where the hate comes I suppose ... Men have less intimate parts than women yes breast are classed as intimate parts .. - a man cannot walk on a beach showing any intimate body part this is just creepy and unacceptable and women should be the same , breasts should not be exposed in public unless for feeding a child . and she has her son of 15 there that is just creepy if my mother done that I would be mortified ( if your to warm go to the shade ) no haters please only putting forward mine and my partners oppinion as all of you are more than welcome to do as well :)