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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up?? Smile

OP posts:
squoosh · 21/08/2017 13:55

What does it matter what some random bloke on the other side of the pool thinks anyway?

CatsAreAssholes · 21/08/2017 13:57

told my DH that most of you believe that "breasts are not a sexual thing". He said that "99.999999% of men disagre

Can you ask your husband why he thinks men get determine which bits of a woman's body are "sexual". also ask him how can speak for 99.999 percent of men (including the 10 percent that are actually gay)

HerOtherHalf · 21/08/2017 13:57

I told my DH that most of you believe that "breasts are not a sexual thing". He said that 99.999999% of men disagree

I think most reasonable men accept that it's the owner of the boobs right to decide who she intends them to be sexual for, if anyone, and when. There are even men who realise that if a woman has decided to dress provocatively of an evening she almost certainly did not do so for the benefit of every random man that comes within viewing range.

squoosh · 21/08/2017 13:58

I hate posts that start with 'I asked my DH and he thinks X' as though his opinion should carry extra weight!

WhooooAmI24601 · 21/08/2017 14:02

Who cares what one man says? Has he met 99.99% of men on the earth? If not he speaks only for himself.

If a grown woman chooses to lie topless on a beach or around a pool it's nobody's business but her own. In Kefalonia recently the DCs spotted a nudist group sunbathing at the beach. They haven't had the innocence removed from their childhoods for seeing a strange dinkle in the sand so I hardly think a breast or two is something to object to.

GladAllOver · 21/08/2017 14:19

They haven't had the innocence removed from their childhoods for seeing a strange dinkle in the sand so I hardly think a breast or two is something to object to.

I wish more children had the opportunity to see what real bodies look like, rather than learning from celebs on TV and from porn, that everyone should have perfectly proportioned bodies from surgery and Photoshop.

LoniceraJaponica · 21/08/2017 15:06

It would be interesting to get a man's point of view on this. Clearly, we have one already, but I am inclined to think that most men don't only view women's breasts as just a method for feeding a baby.

Toddlers4HenDos · 21/08/2017 15:11

told my DH that most of you believe that "breasts are not a sexual thing". He said that "99.999999% of men disagre

So your DH thinks 99.9999% of men, including himself, find all breasts sexual?

Sorry but that is hilarious. Grin

squoosh · 21/08/2017 15:13

'I am inclined to think that most men don't only view women's breasts as just a method for feeding a baby.'

But should that have any bearing on whether a woman decides to go topless or not?

no.

Toddlers4HenDos · 21/08/2017 15:14

So the breast of 14 yo girls are sexual to him and 99.999% of men? What age do breasts become sexual to him?

And the breast of 80 year old women also sexual?

And the breasts of strangers - all sexual to him?

The breasts of his mum and sisters? Or you Mum and sister? All sexual to your H and 99.99999% of men. wow!

Can you see how completely ridiculous, or indeed worrying, a statement you have made there?

LoniceraJaponica · 21/08/2017 15:16

"But should that have any bearing on whether a woman decides to go topless or not? "

No. I agree with you, but I feel that many of the points on here are very one sided, and I am trying to get people to see more than one point of view.

Datun · 21/08/2017 15:19

RallyRoundTheFlagBoys

If those breasts are attached to an incredibly hot looking woman, then yes, men might look. But should she wear a bikini top, she will still be an incredibly hot looking woman. But somehow, those two triangles will prevent men from looking?

If those breasts are attached to a normal person (i.e. not a model), are you really saying that 99.99999% of men will get turned on as they walk past her sunbathing?

squoosh · 21/08/2017 15:20

I'm sure men who live in countries where nudity is an everyday thing don't think 'omg, boobies, boobies' every time they see some naked breasts at a sauna or beach or wherever. It's a mix of prudishness and Page 3 culture that gives rise to the 'omg, boobies, boobies' attitude.

LoniceraJaponica · 21/08/2017 15:21

I agree Datun and Squoosh

Datun · 21/08/2017 15:22

It's a mix of prudishness and Page 3 culture that gives rise to the 'omg, boobies, boobies' attitude.

Exactly. It's like some kind of forbidden fruit that apparently gets some men sniggering like schoolboys.

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 15:25

I'm finding it strange that so many women are arguing men don't find women's naked breasts sexual. Clearly not all breasts, but the right breasts ( whatever that person finds attractive ) , attached to the right woman will give most straight men a flicker of interest.

It's biology. Watch a program on some ancient tribes, where women go topless as a matter of course and breasts have never been sexualised the males in the tribe still find them sexual. Arguing otherwise is very naive. There is no sign on a woman that says today, or uou can find them sexual, tomorrow and you, can't. You can't control other people's reactions and for straight men breasts are indeed sexual.

Dadstheworld · 21/08/2017 15:28

As a man.....:)

I literally couldn't care less what people wear or don't wear. If it's a place where it's socially appropriate for a man to be topless, then the same applies for women.

WhooooAmI24601 · 21/08/2017 15:29

I wish more children had the opportunity to see what real bodies look like, rather than learning from celebs on TV and from porn, that everyone should have perfectly proportioned bodies from surgery and Photoshop.

GladAllOver This is exactly it! They are 11 and 6 and so far they don't have any hang-ups about how bodies are 'supposed' to look. I sincerely hope they never do. I don't understand how it's fine for them to walk into our local post office and see the Page 3 women's bodies on the piles of newspapers but not see a topless woman on holiday.

motherinferior · 21/08/2017 15:30

So it's presumably the actual nipples that are causing all this huffery, since the breasts are pretty obvious whether or not encased in a bikini top?

The outrage at OMG NIPS on this thread is somewhere between hilarious and tragic, depending on the degree of disgust for the female body being expressed.

motherinferior · 21/08/2017 15:32

It is even possible to admire a nice pair of boobs without being driven into a sexual frenzy, you know.

Datun · 21/08/2017 15:39

motherinferior

Well that's my holiday packing done. A few pairs of pants and a couple of corn plasters.

squoosh · 21/08/2017 15:41

Maybe nipple tassels are the way forward. That way Jan's husband Colin won't be too goggle eyed with lust.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/08/2017 15:45

Anybody who has had a sunburned nipple will know why it's not that popular now Confused

Dashper · 21/08/2017 15:52

Ohhh. I've thought of another place you'd hate OP: Swiss spas (I presume many other countries too but I've only been to the one). Everyone has to be naked because it's more hygienic. It was so much nicer. And guess what? DH managed to not pounce on me. Context y'know.

VeryCunningStunt · 21/08/2017 15:54

I told my DH that most of you believe that "breasts are not a sexual thing". He said that "99.999999% of men disagree".

Ah, so we're back to allowing the male gaze to define and determine female body choices, are we? Hmm