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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay friend back?

354 replies

Forevergazingupwards · 17/08/2017 18:58

Going through a bad break up and asked to see friend but she was busy that night and invited me to go with her to London the following weekend to visit a mutual friend.

I asked her about train tickets and at the end of the week she bought and paid for us both.

The night before my grandma died and so I didn't go. Now a month later and friend is chasing up the money for the train ticket. I don't think I should have to pay, aibu?

OP posts:
Whosthemummynow · 17/08/2017 19:04

Surely this is a reverse?

Glumglowworm · 17/08/2017 19:05

Yabu

I'm sorry for your loss, but your friend shouldn't be left out of pocket. The fact that she's asking suggests she can't afford to let it slide.

Notknownatthisaddress · 17/08/2017 19:06

Yeah you do owe the money.

I'm guessing you think as your nana died, you shouldn't have to pay back the money because of that reason? Am I right? (Not being nasty, just wondered...)

If your friend needs the money back then you need to pay it.

Sorry about your nana.

Allthewaves · 17/08/2017 19:06

if course you have to pay it's your ticket

ILoveMillhousesDad · 17/08/2017 19:07

Sorry, yabu. I can't believe you haven't paid her back. I am sorry for your loss, but surely you were planning to pay her back if you would have gone?

I think this is a reverse too.

Notreallyarsed · 17/08/2017 19:08

I'm sorry about your grandma, grief is a horrible thing. However your friend is out of pocket so I think the decent (and right) thing to do is to pay her back.

coriliavijvaad · 17/08/2017 19:09

Train tickets that never got used can be refunded, less an admin fee, unless they were "advance" type. Pay back your friend, get the tickets from her and claim a refund from the train company. Given the reason is the death of your grandma they may even waive the admin fee if you ask nicely.

Cynara · 17/08/2017 19:09

I can't imagine why you think you shouldn't pay. Your friend is not responsible for bearing the cost of your ticket.

BannedFromNarnia · 17/08/2017 19:10

She can ask for a refund of the unused bit, but I'm afraid you should still pay for the rest ie the admin fee.

Sorry about your grandma though.

FeelingAggrieved · 17/08/2017 19:12

Obviously you should pay.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/08/2017 19:14

@PaintingByNumbers - I don't think wanting the money for the ticket makes her a 'shitty friend' - why should she have to take the financial hit? The OP's loss is very sad, but it isn't fair of her to leave her friend out of pocket.

Pengggwn · 17/08/2017 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

khajiit13 · 17/08/2017 19:15

Pay your friend

Happytobefree17 · 17/08/2017 19:16

Is this a reverse OP?

If not, YABU. Sorry you've been going through a difficult time though.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 17/08/2017 19:17

I assume this is a reverse. I'm sorry about your Friends Grandma though.

AndTodayIAm · 17/08/2017 19:19

.

Starlight2345 · 17/08/2017 19:19

I am assuming reverse.. As I can see no reason not to pay and no reason posted.

MudCity · 17/08/2017 19:20

Yes, you should pay.

Tamatoa · 17/08/2017 19:20

Well. I'm intrigued as to the justification of this one! YABU!

Original poster
Forevergazingupwards · 17/08/2017 19:20

I'm guessing you think as your nana died, you shouldn't have to pay back the money because of that reason? Am I right? (Not being nasty, just wondered...)

Well yeah pretty much this Sad

OP posts:
Redglitter · 17/08/2017 19:20

Are you kidding? Why the hell should your friend be out of pocket. Course you should pay. Can't believe it's even up for discussion

TidyDancer · 17/08/2017 19:21

The money should be paid back and this is almost certainly a reverse.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 17/08/2017 19:22

YABU; you should absolutely pay her.

You not going is not her fault and she shouldn't be out of pocket for it.

Redglitter · 17/08/2017 19:22

So you don't feel you should have to pay because your nan died but why do you think your friend should be out of pocket

UrsulaPandress · 17/08/2017 19:22

Of course you should pay. What on earth makes you think you shouldn't? In fact, if your friend didn't go because you pulled out it would be nice if you offered to pay for her ticket as well.