To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

[theduchessstill]

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

Now's the point to warn those with pre-teens that braces aren't covered by the nhs anymore, unless it's a medical issue. Aesthetics don't count.

Mine is not expensive exactly, but he does eat a fortune in food. He's thin, but just eats and eats and eats. So the food costs can mount up.

I didn't eat much as a teenager (wasn't hungry), same with his older sister. So it may be more a male thing. I work with a tall 23 year old and he's thin and eats all day long at his desk.

thatdearoctopus
That's much to my annoyance. I had braces as a kid only for 4 wisdom teeth in adulthood to make my teeth more crowded again. To get it done again privately will be about £4,000.

Ah. I didn't know orthodontics weren't free these days... My 13 yr-old has just been referred to ?NHS orthodontist by our NHS dentist because there are more than 4mm difference between top and bottom. I thought treatment would be free.....

They are for kids Maireadplastic.

But adults used to be able to get standard train track braces on thr NHS and pay the standard dental fees (top bracket i think). Now they don't offer them.

If you want braces as an adult now then it's private only. Admittedly if I got them I'd want the invisble ones anyway so would never have got them on the NHS, but now they don't even offer adults thr metal ones.

Braces are only free for kids with over 8mm misalignment

The designer brands thing is ridiculous. I was brought up in a pretty comfortable mc family and never had designer clothes/bags etc and still don't. Why on earth would I buy them for my dc? It's superficial, overpriced nonsense. Dd (12) is so far bemused by the high fashion brigade at school, thank goodness. But if she suddenly decides she wants stuff, she can save up for it herself!

Braces are not automatically free for kids either. As someone said, only if there's a real issue and it has to fulfil very specific criteria.

Most of the designer bags the teens(that I know) carry are fake.
The brands they want are generally not high-end designer. Just jeans from TopShop can cost from £40-£60. Yes, they are £15 in Primark but they don't cater for tall and slim DD1 or petite DD2.
Teens are costly. They cost the same as adults but don't bring in an income. Stuff that was free/cheap when we were teens all costs money now (music lessons, sports clubs, school transport, University).
I would love some of the posters who don't have teens yet to come back to this thread in a few years, they remind me of the people who say they will never do things with their babies (have a dummy, feed them sugar, let them stay up past 6pm, watch CBeebies etc.) that soon change their minds when the time comes.

It's very easy to be strict and wise when you either haven't got a teen or have got one who isn't interested in the stuff anyway, Theimpossible.

Eloin, I think you have just ticked two of my boxes in one post.

Eolian

It's easy to impart your 'wisdom' when you have a kid who isn't a teen or who isn't interested in that kind of stuff.

I have two sons - one wants designer, the other isn't bothered. Maybe your kid won't be interested in designer gear, maybe she will. If you want to force your child to work instead of focusing on school, that's up to you.

I find that teens sometimes go through a 'label' phase in early teens and then revert back to primark, new look etc.

Particularly when their own money is involved.

I remember my DD complaining how expensive it was to buy lunch when she was out shopping 'it cost me an hours wages to buy a sandwich and a packet of crisps'

DD wants £20 off me tomorrow, too.
She wants to go to the city (£4 train fare), to meet a friend & see a movie (£9).
I want her to browse shops for a winter coat at a price I like (allow 3 hrs).
We can have a battle royale about why won't she take a packed lunch, or I can protect my blood pressure by giving her some money for lunch (£5) before the flick.
I might be nice & give her £2 to let her buy sweets during film.
So that's a £20 note.

If she were 5yo we'd go to the park with fruit & some sarnies (cost = £2) for 3 hrs & she'd make friends with anyone there. But that is not how you keep teens busy & happy.

Oooh, that sounds promising BigSandy! Mine is only just 13, so maybe she will revert at some point.
The thing is, our daughter has some Asperger's tendancies according to her new school, so she is mimicking people around her, which adds to the complications slightly.
I hate the word and the implication, but our daughter is currently chanelling her inner chav!

Ha. mine is back from his Dofe and I got change! He had the night before (in a youth hostel) to pay for, camp site fees for one of the nights, spare cash in case they had to use a campsite for any of the other nights, money for dinner during the drive up and money for dinner on the drive back. I gave him £100, he came back with £78 and dross.

He has still to pay for the youth hostel as someone paid for the whole group and he didn't want all the extra cash.

He has enough left to pay for the hostel plus the £50 it was going to cost for his driving lesson tomorrow. :D

I'm a bit late to this but my DD, 13.5, has no concept of sana savings or value. She has been taught it, had her first savings account from birth and then another as she got older which she had some say in. Then I got her a Go Henry account, yet it means nothing to her

She gets £50 a month out of her child maintenance from the Donor. I'd hoped she would save some from this, but no she chose an iPhone costing £43 a month. I was going to say no to it but I thought "actually, you do that - then seen how far £7 a month gets you". It has worked because I put the £7 in her account, no more.

Weekly, she gets £5 on a Friday. This is for "scran" () aka sugar laden crap from the shops. She has to do the dishes a few times a week minimum to get this.

She occasionally wants something excesskce- acrylic nails or a fancy, branded, top. On those occasions she has to do extra around the house to help me pure, stuff that I wouldn't normally expect her to do - clean her young brother's room for example.

Yet she still has no concept of how money works. It drives me crazy.

She wanted Kickers for school. £60. She's stopped growing )I think) so I'm ok with that because her last pair did last a long time and Clarke shoes were £45 when I looked (quite happy to buy supermarket but cab trekking back for a new pair every month - which is what happened when she outgrew her last pair of Kickers)

So, I've bought her the Kickers and she says "can I have that SuperDry bag?" Fuck no, are you taking the piss girl!?! I explained that she can't have the shoes and the bag and why, I was "so unreasonable" she soon shut up when I told her the Kickers were being returned and she could chose a pairq from Primark (we shop there too - but heaven forbid she have Primarni school shoes!)

I'm on a low income but get a decent amount of child maintenance and I will go without if it means my kids can have what their friends have.

However, I also say "No" more than I say "yes" I just wish DD would learn about how earning and saving money works, I'm trying so hard yet she isn't taking it on board!

BigSandyBalls you've given me hope!

Apologies for all the typos and random insertion of words that don't exist. I thought I'd corrected them but seems my kindle hates me.

Easy solution. Don't pay for their festivals, Netflix and extra pocket money to go out with friends!!!
I got £60 a month two years ago now (as I had no transport and no where local to work) I paid for my clothes out of that, any make up and other toiletries. If I went out with friends bus fare, cinema, meal etc came out of that. I don't resent it. It taught me how to budget really well!! When I saved to go travelling I lived on about £15 a month.
Now my phone contract £7.50 was paid for and day trips were but just because they ask for branded clothing doesn't mean you have to say yes!
(But yeah I did eat a tonne of food as a teenager)

I showed the title of this thread to me teen and said some people are saying 'just say no' to which he replied 'yeah, because it's that easy.'

But it is, Mairead unless something is essential, you can actually say no! Shock horror!

The problem is that you want your teens to have friends and a social life, it's not healthy to be sitting indoors on screens all the time. So when they say I'm meeting jade at Nando's tom can I have some money, part of you is thrilled they're moving their arse off the sofa and part of you thinks shit they need cash, it's difficult.

MrsJoy,
it's hard to say no sometimes. DD17 works part time and almost never ask for money. But her friends treat her! They get her tickets to concerts, pay for her days at country clubs, buy her branded jewelry including a Tiffany necklace, pedi and manis, massages, etc. And these are just her girlfriends! Her now ex used spend all sorts of money on her, but that I feel is more appropriate. We are not poor and so I feel that I have to offer her more money and stuff than I really want to because I don't want her to be a charity case for her friends!

Mrs Joy. My teen gets that there are different preferences and circumstances etc etc and that you can't just make blanket statements. Shock horror.