To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

[theduchessstill]

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

[Mesgegra]

Well, I'm in Ireland where fewer things are free but my dd just got her braces off (e4,000) It was about e1,300 for her to go in to first year at secondary school. This year she's doing the junior cert so I thought there wouldn't be too many new books but just the past exam papers (sounds cheap right!) were e65. There will be exam fees and maybe grinds for her weaker subjects. But it can't be all work and no play, she has had a long summer, so I sent her on an art camp which was e300 and she does drama too which costs about e500 a year. She gets about e10 a week pocket money but that excludes the endless treats. Also excludes phone credit. I give her e50 for clothes about once every ten weeks I'd say. She eats RINGS around me as well and drinks more coffee than I do too! I agree with the PP, I cannot get the food in to the house quickly enough, but that's her brother's fault too.
She also can't follow me in to a book shop without asking for a book.
She also puts in little toiletry requests as well at least once a week, dental floss, a different tooth whitening toothpaste, vegan shower gel she asked for last week. I said no to that one. She isn't even spoilt.

[annandale]

Shoes and sports kit. Admittedly they are not all essential, unless I'm going to stop him doing any of the sports he likes, but I am keen for him to do the sports.

So he has school shoes, trainers and football boots, two different PE tops, (required for school) plus athletics spikes, wellies, fake crocs, cricket whites, cricket helmet and box, athletics club singlet, swimming costume. I used to be so smug that his feet grew slowly at primary school - during years 7 and 8 his feet have grown from size 6 to size 10. That means replacing all those shoes at what feels like extremely frequent intervals, and he has dodgy feet so I like to buy properly fitted trainers and spikes at huge cost. He is now 5'10" and into adult shirt/coat sizes which means no more VAT free clothes (thank goodness he is still too skinny for adult trousers). Yes we give him a bit of pocket money and pay for his phone but nothing costs like shoes.

[theduchessstill]

Ok, so this is quite reassuring.

A lot can be refused/modified, or comes later, not as soon as they are a teen? I personally don't think people need to learn to drive the second they turn 17.

Food and clothes are obviously a big one, but I already get that with ds1. He hasn't eaten a kids' meal since he was 8.

[cathf]

This is going to turn into a stealth boast as to who's got the most deprived teens, isn't it?
To all those saying your teens live in hessian shirts and never go out, I say good for you.
Don't be too smug - in my experience, it very much depends on the teen as to how demanding they are. It also depends on their peer group.
Teen 1: Cost me next to nothing. Was not in the slightest bit bothered about clothes, shoes, bought his own phone, still does not drive (he's 24), made no demands whatsoever. He was definitely a cheap teen.
Teen 2 (13 now) is a different story altogether - is forever wanting something, every day out she suggests is to something that costs money, and as soon as she gets something, she is after the next thing. Wanted a Louis Vuitton bag for school , IPhone, Apple laptop etc etc ... the list never gets any shorter!
Child 3 (now 10) Who knows?

[Mesgegra]

So true about adult fares kicking in once they hit 12. Got a coach the other day with my 12 and 15 year old and I was stung for three adults. Nearly keeled over when he told me the price.

[CPtart]

I have one teenage son and one almost. They do cost more for the reasons people have stated. But still cost me nowhere near as much as two lots of nursery fees ever did.

[annandale]

And that's one child. I have friends with three sporty teenagers all growing at once, though there would be more passing on of stuff I guess.

[Mesgegra]

I don't think my DD is deprived but I don't think she's spoiled either. What I pay out for strikes me as a little bit more than the bare minimum. The things I could say no to aren't the big expenses.

[Mesgegra]

True cptart that's another mortgage as they say.

[timeisnotaline]

Sports , kit, music lessons, instruments, going out, clothes etc. School uniform and school books.

[Starlight2345]

As the parent of a 10 year old , I can see where the expense is going to come from.

Yes apart from food, shoes and clothes you don't have to buy anything ..However you are going to have a pretty miserable teenager if he/she never does anything/ goes anywhere/ has nothing their mates have..

My DS ( going into year 6) has already mentioned trainers he wants so he won't be bullied. going to non uniform school.. Do I have to buy them no..I could probably pick up a pair from price zone for £10.. however yes he would be teased. Yes it would knock his confidence. Not something I am willing for my child who already has low self esteem.

You could not pay for them to go anywhere and then they would either be hauled up in room or sat around the streets.

Holidays after 12 they are costed as an adult. Entrance fee's go up..

[ShoutOutToMyEx]

I certainly didn't cost my parents much. Aside from essentials - school stuff mainly - if I wanted something I paid for it myself. Did chores for pocket money, safe deposit any birthday and Christmas money and got a Saturday job at 14. I still had a social life and did well at school but I learned that not everyone can have everything they want. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my mum to pay for my fashion magazines or new earrings, they were wants rather than needs.

I think it's different now though - jobs are hard enough for adults with experience to get, and things like phone credit which my parents saw as a luxury is definitely essential now.

But a 14 year old is more than old enough to understand that every family has different incomes and can afford different things, and just because other people have things and you want them, doesn't mean they just appear. Some of the things mentioned above are bizarre - as a PP says, some working adults can't afford them.

[GetAHaircutCarl]

Food is a big one. Clothing. When they go on holiday it's like paying for more adults (air fare, hotels, meals).

And yes socialising. Of course some teens never leave their rooms. And of course some parents expect them to socialise on 45p a week. But I want mine to have a nice life ( just as I do)...

Also a big cost is study. Sixth form can be expensive. University can be very expensive.

[ExConstance]

Mine have left home now, fortunately ( from a financial point of view) When you have 2 aged 11 + it is like lugging around another couple of adults with you and having to pay for everything for them. Coffee? £2 if it is just me, £4 for both of us with some reciprocation from DH for the "next round" all 4 of us £8, so a day out becomes ruinous!

[Mesgegra]

lol at wanting a louis vuitton bag for school. my dd told me with a hopeful lilt in her voice about a girl in her class who had a Michael Kors handbag. I said ''If I had a spare handbag I'd sell it on ebay''. Daughter slunk away

[Maddaddam]

I have 3 teens.
They eat a lot (but can be fobbed off with cheap food).
They cost more if we all go out for a meal, or on holiday, but that starts to get cheaper as they stop coming out with us.

It all adds up to much, much less than paying 3 lots of childcare though.

This summer holidays is cheaper than previous ones as we have no holiday clubs to pay for. They just mooch around or go out with friends, or even go and earn their own money sometimes. The oldest (17) hasn't come on the last 2 family holidays, which is a shame except it saves a lot of money.

[Helenluvsrob]

But why doesn't it get cheaper when they go to uni ?😂

[gluteustothemaximus]

We must be doing ok then. No school trips, no pocket money, he has a pay as you go phone, top up every 3 months or so, clothing he is happy with Asda t shirts in the sale.

I guess that all sounds like he's hard done by, but he's actually very happy.

Only thing is food. He does eat a lot, but then again, so does DH.

Things get more expensive in terms of paying adult prices from 12 onwards (or younger) but we just don't go. It's too expensive.

He'll do free stuff like going out for a bike ride at the park.

Been cheap so far....

[Tainbri]

I guess a teenage boy might be cheaper than a teenage girl but as for labelled clothes - not a chance! Luckily he couldn't care less about fashion but if he did want them he'd have to save. I don't have designer clothes so I'm not going to buy them for him!! (Unless I'm lucky in TK MAX!) I do pay a mobile phone contract though.

[YellowPrimula]

Because these days the amount they can borrow is based on parents income and the limits for only being able to borrow the minimum( which at some unis won't even cover rent) are pretty low . Plus they need a laptop, phone , food , insurance, printer credit or a printer etc etc plus some courses require you to go onfiemd trips and on and on

[PoppyPopcorn]

It's the growing.

My eldest grew at least 6 inches last year. His feet went from a size 5 to a size 7.5 and are still growing. He grew out of his school trousers and shirts between August and Christmas. I cannot keep up with his appetite, think he has hollow legs.

It's not that he's costing me more in terms of clubs and technology, it's just the constant "but i'm HUNGRY" or "Mum my shoes are sore again".

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

You don't have to buy your teenager a car and pay for lessons

No you don't but if you can afford to, why wouldn't you. We did with all ours. Driving as soon as you are able makes a huge difference to life.

[ginorwine]

Our dd was very expensive when we had horses .
She then got a job and no horse and cost nothing .
Now at uni at 500 pm ( well in sept ) and then there is ds - another 500 pm .

[Mrsfloss]

This really surprises me as on the pocket money threads people's kids only get a £5 a week!!