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Original poster

To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

528 replies

theduchessstill · 16/08/2017 13:08

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

OP posts:
bathildabagshot1 · 19/08/2017 00:35

Love all the holier than thou parents on here who spend tuppence ha'penny on their teens and pull their judgey pants right up when others get more spent on them

What costs so much?

Food.
Adults clothes - if you have daughters Bras can be VERY expensive for those who are of ample bust and tiny back ( 3 of them here).

Trips- Ok your kid never goes on one, fine, but the school can help if you need it.

Social life.

Food.

Phones - even for school now you need one that has apps, loads of work is now connected through this. Apps are really useful too. Uber if stuck etc.

Did I mention food?

noeffingidea · 19/08/2017 00:36

waxon well you'd have to ask the poster who mentioned it about that.

Dixiestamp · 19/08/2017 00:36

I'm also not looking forward to when my kids hit 18 ish either- if they want to go to uni I can imagine that's going to cost a bit more than daycare too!

Magic79 · 19/08/2017 00:42

OMG so Dd1 is up to no good because she likes Nike trainers and T-shirts.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 00:46

It's okay, noeffing I wasn't expecting you to know the answers, I was just throwing the questions into the air :)

I think half the money being "earned" by teens on this thread is being paid by parents for services rendered so isn't exactly saving the parents money in the long run, they are just getting some jobs done for it. I just expect my teens to do the jobs for "free" as it's expected that they help out as part of their pocket money.

I'm not saying one way is right and one is wrong, just that it's disingenuous to say that teens are earning their own money so therefore aren't expensive if you are the ones paying out the money.

Obviously that doesn't apply to everyone and some younger teens are lucky to be able to earn money in their neighbourhood doing odd jobs. Just not in mine and I'd equally not pay neighbourhood children to do jobs unless it was for charity as I have my own teens to do them.

noeffingidea · 19/08/2017 00:54

waxon well I suppose it depends on if you were going to pay someone else to do the job. If you were then it's fair enough to pay your child to do it instead, maybe at a lower rate.
As for having your own teens, well obviously not everyone does. I can see why some people might want to pay to have odd jobs done for them if they're older or not in good health and have no family to help them out.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 01:07

Maybe noeffing. I'm also a bit anal so the thought of someone using a gritty bucket of silt from someone else's car all over my bonnet puts my teeth on edge. :) and I don't have a particularly expensive car.

corythatwas · 19/08/2017 07:35

bathildabagshot1 Sat 19-Aug-17 00:35:12
"Love all the holier than thou parents on here who spend tuppence ha'penny on their teen"s"

Don't let's forget that MN does not only welcome holier than thou parents, but also poor parents. I admit that there is never an excuse for holier than thou, but for more well off parents a simple statement about what life is like on less money can easily come across as either completely made-up or holier than thou.

And btw, not all schools can fund trips for all pupils who would need funding. In our LA that would be an awful lot of pupils and there simply isn't the money kicking around. The result is that there is a fairly clear divide between the pupils who always go on trips and the pupils who never do.

The reality around my way is that most teens have very little pocket money until they reach the age of 16 and then they get proper jobs, in retail or catering.

dolcezza99 · 19/08/2017 07:49

Seems some parents on here have no concept of the word "no". Take the old "they eat me out of house and home" argument - have you ever tried telling them that no, it's not acceptable to eat an entire pack of sausages for dinner? Why aren't these kids being told no, or taught self-control? I certainly wasn't allowed to eat the entire contents of my parents' fridge as a teenager.

bathildabagshot1 · 19/08/2017 09:48

I'd be asking where the pupil premium money goes then Cory.

Starlight2345 · 19/08/2017 09:59

The thing with PP bath is low paid parents don't get it...So there are lots of children living in poverty with no free meal, or PP.

Magic79 · 19/08/2017 10:04

With the food cost it is not really about saying no. Teens need more calories than toddlers and you can't get cheap or free meals when eating out.

dolcezza99 · 19/08/2017 10:42

Yes, of course they need more calories, but they don't need that many extra calories that they get through some of the revolting volumes of food that PPs state they do. One poster said her son would eat an entire packet of sausages or bacon in one sitting. That's atrocious. These children need to be told no; I certainly was. They won't starve if they eat normal portions, and should be taught to do so.

MaQueen · 19/08/2017 11:07

"MN welcomes poor parents'. Very true Cory. I'm not denying that we are lucky in that we can provide a fairly privileged life for our teens. But I get sick of being told that they won't be able to cope 'with real life' as a result - just because they've had tennis lessons, or own a few pairs of Nikes or whatever (it's hardly like their wearing Jimmy Choos or learning to drive in a Masserati).

Of course they will be able to cope with 'the real world' because this is their real world, and the real world of their friends.

dustarr73 · 19/08/2017 11:14

Of course i can say no.And do.But when it comes to stuff i can afford,why make your kids miserable.
.
I pity some of the parents on this thread who cant understand a different point of view.Or that that different teenagers have different needs.Its not a one size fits all.

They are individual not an extension of their parents.Maybe some of the kids would love Nike trainers but wont ask because the parents wont buy them.

MaQueen · 19/08/2017 11:16

magic I'm afraid so Sweetie...both our DDs are currently wearing their JWs pyjamas, while one is reading Pride & Prejudice and the other is cooking us all pancakes...all very wholesome...but secretly they are apparently likely to be running a crack den from our garage. Who knew Shock

BigSandyBalls2015 · 19/08/2017 11:18

Eleventybillion ...... you 'don't let' your 17 year old buy branded trainers even though they have a part time job? Incredibly controlling!!

I don't know any teens around here who would wear Clark's trainers.

dolcezza99 · 19/08/2017 11:31

They are individual not an extension of their parents.

In which case they really should be earning their own money to pay for all this branded stuff they so apparently "need". You can't have it both ways. If they're not an extension of their parents, their parents shouldn't still be funding their excesses.

dustarr73 · 19/08/2017 11:36

Dolce as i said a few pages back,its harder now to get teh type of work we used to do.Most places wont take under 16.So working in a pub or cafe is gone.Not many newspapers spots where i live.
Coming up to 16,17 they study for exams.

Its not an excuse but times have changed.A lot of schoolwork is done online.Its technologh all the way.And im afraid some of the kids on here wont be up to scratch in the "real world" because they wont have the computer savvy that they need,which is kind of ironic.

Aebj · 19/08/2017 11:48

Having to pay adult prices . Planes tend to count 12 year olds as adults, leisure parks 14 years are adults.
Ds 1 does scouts. Unfortunately due to insurance going up it means sending him there also gets more expensive.
In fact insurance for all activities has gone up this having an impact on how much we have to pay .
Clothes . He's growing like there's no tomorrow. eBay is our friend for design clothing. Lots cheaper!!! Shoes. Omg ! Seem to grow quicker than he's going upwards and that's fast!!
Food . He's always bloody hungry, probably because he keeps growing!
Thankfully he's not to fussed about phones. He has our old one which we top up once a month. He keeps to this limit. He only uses it for me to come and pick him up from the skate park.!!

MaQueen · 19/08/2017 11:59

dolce I get a lot of pleasure from treating my DDs to something they'd really like. Don't you?

MycatsaPirate · 19/08/2017 12:00

I pay DD1's phone contract even though she is now 19 as she's a student which has unpaid placements and she has little time to work. It's a small price to pay to be able to keep in touch with her. I also help her with fuel costs for her car (which she paid for herself). I contributed £500 to the cost of her very high insurance.

DD2 is 12. She's in adult clothing already and has been for a year. She has legs up to her armpit and nothing fits her in children's sizes. Despite buying as much as possible from Primark for her (as they do a size 4 and 6) it still seems to be a relentless exercise of buying new clothes as she grows out of them! Shoes also cost a fortune as both my DDs have wide feet and a high instep like me.

Food - never stops bloody eating.

DD2 also has a phone contract which is minimal cost but she's at the age where she is more independent and I like to be able to keep in touch with her.

Activities - swimming, kayaking and lifeguards. Costs for doing them plus wetsuits, rash vests, wet shoes - all of which need to be replaced annually as they no longer fit her. It is now getting to the point that she needs decent wetsuits which are expensive.

School trips - £340 for the one to France in March next year. I am going with her as she has autism but it's still a high cost to pay out.

You can say that you will delay these things but peer pressure and wanting to ensure your young teens are kept busy doing something good rather than just hanging about in the street means that you do end up forking out.

cathf · 19/08/2017 12:01

Dolce, do you have teens currently or are you coming at this by imagining how strict you would be as a parent of teens?
If you have teens, good on you, you seem to have the kind of teens we all crave.
If you haven't, you don't know what you're talking about luv.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 12:09

Can I also add that as you are cheering along competitors in the Olympics, watching youth orchestras etc etc. There are parents that have sucked up the costs of the travel, equipment, special diets etc in order to get these young people to where they are to fulfil their dreams. And there are millions of parents funding more modest dreams. If we all just refused to pay or wanted them out working instead, where would our sports superstars and doctors and musicians and artists come from?

Yes, sometimes talent rises to the top by people who have overcome the odds. The vast majority will have come from supportive families. Sometimes that costs.

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/08/2017 12:13

Oh, mine don't randomly help themselves to the entire contents of the fridge. But they do eat a lot. They have large meals and decent food is expensive. They ask if they can have something and if we are out can adequately judge what would be a sensible lunch or whatever.

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