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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect an invite for DD?

182 replies

Rainraingoawayagain · 16/08/2017 13:07

My DD7 has a best friend at school who lives relatively close by. I have had best friend over for tea several times and over to play,she's a lovely little girl and enjoys coming here.
Anyway.. on more than several occasions they will both run up to me (at the school run) and say they want to play today but it's ALWAYS at our house!
They will run up to the other mum (best friends mum) and ask and she says oh we will have to arrange for DD to come over but has NEVER followed through. I seen her at the shops the other day and she said "
my DD really misses your DD will have to get them together soon" I said yes absolutely I then receive a text saying what date And what time shall I drop DD to you ? Hmm I haven't replied as I really think it's rude not to return the invite! AIBU? Me and other mum get on absolutely fine always friendly etc. Can I also mention that my DD WAS NOT invited to her party a few weeks ago Confused my DD is very well mannered so I'm so confused as to why she's being treated this way.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 17/08/2017 11:40

Damn right an enquiry about her day and a thank you should be in order.

Pig ignorant

leccybill · 17/08/2017 11:41

I have a 7yo DD who is desperate to have, or attend a hot tub party - it's the epitome of excitement for her.
If the friend and the invitees were to talk about it when back at school (likely), my DD would feel sad and hurt at having missed out.

Were the invitees definitely daughters of mothers in the 'inner circle'?

Did you 'like' or comment on the photos of the hot tub party? I'd have been inclined to comment: 'Wow, looks exciting, DD would love something like that!'

Original poster
Rainraingoawayagain · 17/08/2017 11:49

No I didn't like or comment on the party Facebook post. I tend to just let things go over my head I was just surprised as it was DD hot tub party so not sure. I wouldn't bring something like that up as for all I know she was hoping I would see it (maybe) ?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 17/08/2017 13:08

Or if cornered in the tge playground, I would say oh it's your turn to host the girls now, I've hosted many times now, please text me dates that I can drop dd off at yours. Leave it there. Bet she never asks again after that as the onus is on her now. I would not have any qualms saying this to a rude Bint like her.

0hCrepe · 17/08/2017 19:56

I can totally see what's annoying.
I meant why do you really want her to go there on principle?
The other mum is clearly rude and doesn't want to look after them and I can see and understand you're annoyed by her attitude so I was just suggesting that acceptance of how she is might make you feel better. I just don't see how the comments etc that are being suggested will help. I doubt she will suddenly say oh yes I'll have them now - it's more likely to lead to a division between your dds which would be sad for them.
If you want dd's friend round say it's ok, if you don't say no you're busy. Leave other mum to her rudeness. just another perspective!

Original poster
Rainraingoawayagain · 17/08/2017 22:44

Oh I agree which is what has been decided now I think the main confusion was her saying yes all the time but then not. I don't think it's fair to tell a child yes and then no. That's all. But iv come to terms with the fact that my DD loves her bf so as long as she's happy then that's all that matters it's just that il be having DD on our terms now rather than the mothers

OP posts:
LucieLucie · 17/08/2017 22:58

The mother is a using Bitch - I can't stand people like her.

Dishonest, flaky and insincere.

It's a shame for the kids but this is never going to be a supported friendship from her side of things...excluding your dd from her bf's birthday party was really mean.

From now on I'd play her at her own game, be outwardly friendly, say all the right things but don't agree to host her kid or take anywhere ever again.

Pollypudding · 17/08/2017 23:20

I am struggling to understand why you want your DD to go to a place where she is clearly not welcome, if you want to encourage the friendship out of school then accept that you will be the host. If not then a simple" no I'm afraid that is not convenient" will suffice.

katronfon · 18/08/2017 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/08/2017 10:04

Its hurtful knowing your dd was not invited to her best friends party. It sounds like the mums doing. I think op is doing the right thing.

Yika · 18/08/2017 10:12

The mother is unbelievably rude and mean and I think your approach is spot on, not discouraging your children's friendship but putting some clear boundaries in place as far as your own involvement is concerned.

missmollyhadadolly · 18/08/2017 10:25

I'm shocked at this level of brass-neckedness.

OP, please do update us when she makes her next suggestion for your hospitality.

Original poster
Rainraingoawayagain · 18/08/2017 12:35

She already has missmolly.
She posted on Facebook this morning (pops up on my news feeds) " anyone free for a few hours need to get DD OUT she's driving me nuts" she has tagged me and three others in the post Confused I have absolutely no idea why I'm tagged and one of the other mums is another mum from the school! I of course ignored lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Rainraingoawayagain · 18/08/2017 12:36

I untagged and ignored the "post to timeline as well option"

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 18/08/2017 12:37

Good on you, she is a brass necked user, and now you know what her agenda is, she wan'ts to palm off her dd onto other people for free babysitting as she's had enough.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/08/2017 12:38

she is a drain, who take take take!

Aventurine · 18/08/2017 12:40

Let her move onto another mug.

Yika · 18/08/2017 12:44

Poor kid.

Original poster
Rainraingoawayagain · 18/08/2017 12:45

Wish I could post the Facebook post I don't think I'm the only one lol
One other commented " time for a hobby" and another posted " will text you soon, arrange a date"

OP posts:
missmollyhadadolly · 18/08/2017 12:54

That was quick!

The good news is a few people must have turned her down, like the OP, hence resorting to begging in a FB status.

What good are her playground circle of mums now?!

Aeroflotgirl · 18/08/2017 12:54

I would have posted that Rainraingo

Boaby · 18/08/2017 12:56

OP I don't think I'd want to send my daughter round there since she obviously sees her own as a burden "she's driving me nuts". Children pick up on contempt & it would be awkward knowing you're not wanted/welcome.

Boaby · 18/08/2017 12:58

Eurgh, parents like this are the worst.

Mummmzzyy88 · 18/08/2017 13:02

I wouldn't want me DD there now tbh she doesn't seem very child friendly

Aeroflotgirl · 18/08/2017 13:05

Does not sound like she likes kids very much! even though mine are a pain, I could never palm them off like that.

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