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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

With my first world problem-beach hut issue.

349 replies

LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 11:05

We've been on the waiting list for a beach for for ages.

A new set are being built and we've been successful in securing a great one.

We were going to buy but I've had to put a hold on it for the following reasons-

I was trying to -using the square footage/floor plans - plan where storage stuff and table/mini kitchen would go etc and asked DH for his help

He's basically dismissed everything and told me that his kayack is going in and that everything else will have to fit around it.

His kayak will only fit it its diagonal and he's refusing to have is hing from the ceiling (which means everyone will have to bend anyway to avoid concussion - there's no permission granted for lockable storage under either.

I asked him is he'd also maintain /paint do essential repairs as he does nothing at home-answer- no im happy just to have somewhere for a kettle and a kayack. No consideration for anyone else or anyone else's enjoyment of it.

I've told him I'm withdrawing from it then- which he's having a huge strop.

I already do every shred of maintencance/work/upkeep on our home he helps with nothing- he has a home office which looks like he's Mr Trebus's protégée ND can just see myself wishing I'd not bothered.

Am I being unreasonable to withdraw (and think £18k for a kayack storage facility because DH is too fucking lazy to take his out of the shed and onto the car) and look elsewhere for myself and he kids?

[edited to correct copy and paste errors at OP's request]

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
HotelEuphoria · 15/08/2017 12:12

As much as I would love a beach hut I wouldn't sign up to one on this basis. Your DH sounds an arse, but I can empathise.

Mine was brought up in a very "rough and ready" household and as a consequence he has very little respect for possessions and the way the house is treated. For example overnight bags scraped down the newly decorated staircase, doors slammed so the pain around the casing cracks, walking on newly fitted carpets in outdoor shoes. He also does zero in the house.

Funnily enough his precious cars (yes 2 expensive ones) are cleaned every week and no one can eat or drink in them!

He is very generous with money though, so if push came to shove I would get my beach hut for just me and the kids.

Original poster
LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 12:17

Botanic- my H does that Shock

OP posts:
rightwhine · 15/08/2017 12:17

Hotel I would be treating those cars with the same level of respect that he treats everything else.

What does he actually say op, when you point out that it is unusable when there is a bloody big kayak sitting in the middle of it.

Mix56 · 15/08/2017 12:19

why can"t he get a bully & winch it up out of the way?
surely it is not a huge issue ?

could it get stolen ?

Mix56 · 15/08/2017 12:20

ha ! pully, not bully !

ExplodedCloud · 15/08/2017 12:20

When I asked the his money or family money I was asking for confirmation that there wasn't some way he was paying rather than family funds paying for it.
For example not every family does pool all money, some pool some and have individual savings etc.
But having cleared up the OP is a SAHM and family money is buying it he is additionally u for saying he has paid for it.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 15/08/2017 12:23

He's the one depriving the DC by parking his kayak in their beach hut.

Actually, I would always refer to it as the DCs beach hut!

Or get the hut, make it clear that you cannot move the kayak.
When he puts it in, go to beach with children, round up loads of people to help you pull out kayak, and leave it just below high tide mark.

Sadly at the end of the day, there will be no one to help you put the kayak back, so it will have to stay where it is....

BorisTrumpsHair · 15/08/2017 12:24

gosh my XP did that with food - I used to be a really good cook (other people really enjoyed eating my meals for many years) and after living with XP he rubbished pretty much everything I ever cooked. I really lost my cooking mojo.

having left him 5 years ago, I've still not got my cooking confidence back - or more like I am just not interested in cooking anymore. A source of joy and pride became a source of stress and unhappiness.

It really makes me feel quite sad. I must attempt to reclaim this part of me.

KurriKurri · 15/08/2017 12:26

He sounds exactly like his kayak - a total waste of space.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/08/2017 12:27

I'm so envious, I grew up having a beach hut. It's so lovely to have a cuppa, get changed properly, have a snooze and get out if the sun for a bit ... happy memories!

Ridiculous to spend 18k on a glorified bloody shed for a kayak!!

Jaxhog · 15/08/2017 12:28

Buy it. You can always drag the kayak out when you want to use the hut. If it gets damaged/stolen etc. Too bad.

FizzyGreenWater · 15/08/2017 12:29

You sound as if you hate him and I can see why.

It's funny how little things sometimes herald the end of one's tether so to speak. Your posts are the tip of an iceberg aren't they? Is it possible to make sure the hut purchase is in your name?

Don't miss out on the hut - it sounds ace. Maybe start off by letting him put the kayak in, then start inviting folk down - including his friends- or threatening to - so that they can see what a dick he is. With his show off kayak that he only uses as a lifestyle prop taking up all the space, maybe you could all sit on it. In fact how about your own instagram? Visible to his friends, maybe a special one just for the kayak called #lifestylepropkayak. You could have a timeline which shows when he last used it, for how long, how many photos were taken versus actual kayaking time.

This is only if you are decided on the divorce, of course. You are, aren't you?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/08/2017 12:30

Will you make pretty cushions and matching curtains OP?!

Soooooooo envious Envy

stitchglitched · 15/08/2017 12:30

This thread is making my blood pressure rise! Your H sounds utterly selfish. Have you posted about him before? I remember another thread about an insufferable twat constantly posting ridiculous selfies all over social media.

MrMessy · 15/08/2017 12:31

Even if he did leave it on the floor and we planned stuff to go around it-when he's at work and I take the DC I'd not be able to move it.

This is where you poke your head out of the beach hut to see if there are any strong looking types that you can get to help you move it With luck they will be hunky fishermen or something

If he does not like that then tough, he needs to move it himself!

stitchglitched · 15/08/2017 12:32

Btw I grew up 5 minutes from the beach and we used to rent a beach hut for the week when my elderly GM came to stay. It was amazing and she used to sit there with a cup of tea saying she felt like the Queen. Such lovely memories, don't let twatface ruin it for you and your children.

NorthCoast · 15/08/2017 12:34

I assume you've checked already, but if it'll only fit in diagonally and the door is in the centre of the wall, is he actually going to be able to manoeuvre it in there in the first place or will it get wedged like a sofa on a tight staircase?

Ishouldbedoingsomething · 15/08/2017 12:39

Buy the beach hut
Decorate it so you can rent it
Use part of the rent to pay for storage near the hut for the kayak
Spend the rest on nice stuff for you and DD

I want a beach hut!

thatdearoctopus · 15/08/2017 12:41

So you're (potentially) buying a beach hut because it's been your life-long dream, yet he's hi-jacking the whole idea with his fucking kayak?

This reminds me of that thread last week about that poor woman whose family cycling holiday in Austria was being taken over by her dh's plan to hog the car's bike rack with 2 of his own bikes and one of belonging to his cycling mate, who was gate-crashing the holiday so he and the dh could go out on long rides. She was going to be left babysitting the kids (without their bikes as no room).

HOW do these men become so self-absorbed? Or rather, why do so many women let them get away with it?

ibbleobbleblackbubble · 15/08/2017 12:43

He sounds exactly like his kayak - a total waste of space.
This⬆️

BeTheHokeyMan · 15/08/2017 12:44

Grow a backbone,ditch the husband,buy your beach hut and live happily ever after

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/08/2017 12:44

octopus Thank you. All the way through this thread, I've been thinking that this is the second thread I've read in a week where the OP has been dispairing of her DHs ridulously self centered behaviour that no-one would ever consider reasonable and I couldn't think what the other one was, and that is it.

ibbleobbleblackbubble · 15/08/2017 12:46

He wants to indulge himself with his hobbies as if he were single
perhaps he secretly wants to be a single man?
Perhaps you should Grant him his secret wish?

thatdearoctopus · 15/08/2017 12:48

He's basically dismissed everything and told me that his kayack is going in and that everything else will have to fit around it.

Just because he says that, doesn't mean it's going to happen. You just have to be louder and more insistent with your view (and mean it!)

ibbleobbleblackbubble · 15/08/2017 12:50

I think some men genuinely do think that doing the wifework is as fulfilling and rewarding for women as the cycling, kayaking, etc is for them🙄

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