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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

With my first world problem-beach hut issue.

349 replies

LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 11:05

We've been on the waiting list for a beach for for ages.

A new set are being built and we've been successful in securing a great one.

We were going to buy but I've had to put a hold on it for the following reasons-

I was trying to -using the square footage/floor plans - plan where storage stuff and table/mini kitchen would go etc and asked DH for his help

He's basically dismissed everything and told me that his kayack is going in and that everything else will have to fit around it.

His kayak will only fit it its diagonal and he's refusing to have is hing from the ceiling (which means everyone will have to bend anyway to avoid concussion - there's no permission granted for lockable storage under either.

I asked him is he'd also maintain /paint do essential repairs as he does nothing at home-answer- no im happy just to have somewhere for a kettle and a kayack. No consideration for anyone else or anyone else's enjoyment of it.

I've told him I'm withdrawing from it then- which he's having a huge strop.

I already do every shred of maintencance/work/upkeep on our home he helps with nothing- he has a home office which looks like he's Mr Trebus's protégée ND can just see myself wishing I'd not bothered.

Am I being unreasonable to withdraw (and think £18k for a kayack storage facility because DH is too fucking lazy to take his out of the shed and onto the car) and look elsewhere for myself and he kids?

[edited to correct copy and paste errors at OP's request]

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Allthebestnamesareused · 15/08/2017 11:56

We go to a beach and use our friend's beach hut from time to time. It is about 2 hours from us and about 20 minutes drive from her holiday home.

There is a toilet block nearby.

The chairs and certain stuff is placed jigsaw like at the end of the day to fit them all in but with the beach chairs out we can sit on the bench at the indoors table.

She has a mini gas oven/2 ring cooker using bottled gas.

To buy a beach hut on this beach is as people have said between £50/70K.

I cannot imagine it being used imply to store a kayak (especially if only used 5 times a year!)

YANBU - your husband is.

PassiveAggressiveFloofiness · 15/08/2017 11:57

Your DH is coming across as quite the twat here.

Personally I would telling him he can store his kayak in his bachelor pad which is off to live in as he clearly doesn't want to put his family first. If you want to hang onto him and his kayak though, could you check if it would be insured in the beach hut? If not, this might make him change his mind.

If it doesn't and you still want to keep him and his kayak I would just do the beach hut how it will suit your family, and put storage (brackets or something?) up so he simply has to store it how you want it.

pigeondujour · 15/08/2017 11:57

He sounds like a complete fucking prick. Bin him.

LockedOutOfMN · 15/08/2017 11:58

Can you go and view a beach hut together with a measuring tape and then he'll see exactly how unreasonable he's being?

I wouldn't store a kayak in a beach hut as I'd be concerned about theft. Home insurer might refuse to cover it if stored there or certainly increase the premium. Other typical items in beach huts like chairs, towels and kettles are less attractive to thieves.

PhilODox · 15/08/2017 11:58

Honestly? Use the £18k to separate. He sounds horrendous. Do you actually love one another? How old are DC?

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/08/2017 11:58

My scuba diving club pays £350 a year to store our boat at a coastal boat storage yard and they will store smaller things like a jetski or a kayak for less.

This may seem quite a lot to avoid putting a kayak on a roof rack 10 times, but at the same time is a bargain to avoid your beach hut experience being ruined by his kayak.

Why can't it be hung up? If it can be hung up so you can use the hut, what's his problem? He hardly uses the thing. Can he sell it and hire one when he wants to go kayaking?

Botanicbaby · 15/08/2017 11:59

Definitely a DH problem. Sorry OP but he sounds extremely immature and disrespectful to you and the family.

Why does he take more notice of his mates more than you? Is he very young and eager to impress them?

Buying a beach hut simply for kayak storage at the expense of the rest of family is selfish. In fact ludicrous if it's just for instagram selfies!

Please don't decorate his office again and if you do buy the beach hut come to an agreement first which involves no to the kayak storage, and don't buy it if he can't/won't compromise. He sounds like a prize arse and YANBU!

Original poster
LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 11:59

Mraovertheroad-I tried that once he either makes a big joke of it or deletes my post

Cannot be bothered with all that pussyfooting around

And no he's not overtly like this with everything. But he would definitely try. What can I say about that? EMIL indulged him massively as a child.

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/08/2017 11:59

Your beach hut sounds amazing and you mustn't let it go after waiting all this time, just because of your DH and he's fecking kayak.

He sounds like a tool.

I'd LOVE a beach hut - like you say, your kids are growing up quickly and it's a lovely family thing to do - perhaps without DH though!!

ExplodedCloud · 15/08/2017 11:59

He's paying for it? Or is the family paying for it?
He is bu. He's making the beach hut unusable unless he's there.
Get the beach hut. Invite friends down regularly so they can see his kayak occupying the hut.

Original poster
LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 12:00

Botanic
I don't plan to-that wallpaper cost me ££££

He recently told me he was changing it all.

Hmmm he spend 20 minutes slapping deluxe NHS white on one wall then left it

That was 2 years ago.

I'm not touching it.

OP posts:
PassiveAggressiveFloofiness · 15/08/2017 12:01

Oh and if you have a disability which renders kayak lifting impossible, he's even more of a twat. My DH does all the heavy lifting, including loading the washing machine before work at 4am, as he is kind and not a twat.

If your DH isn't kind, it isn't going to get easier for you. I'm not saying LTB over a kayak but it is representative of who he is and you already sound like you don't like him very much. Maybe this could be the catalyst to change things and make you happier.

Annebronte · 15/08/2017 12:01

Could you install fittings e.g. mini kitchen that make it impossible for the kayak to fit?

RubaDubMum89 · 15/08/2017 12:03

Could his kayak not have an accident? Maybe something heavy could fall on it and break it? Or maybe, I don't know, you suddenly decided to take up smoking and dropped some lighter fluid and a match into it? Grin No kayak, no problem!

theEagleIsLost · 15/08/2017 12:04

Is this a way of getting you to not to spend 18K on a beach hut without him having to say that ?

Otherwise surely boat storage would be a better option than spending that kind of cash then not being able to use hut for anything else.

Not sure they'd be that secure either for anything of value.

ohtheholidays · 15/08/2017 12:04

Your Husband sounds like an abusive,selfish fucking wanker!

I'd be getting the beach hut for you and your DC and sorting out a divorce at the same time,he honestly doesn't sound like he deserves you!

museumum · 15/08/2017 12:06

But the beach hut. Fit it out as you want/need.
If the kayak fits in overnight great (chuck it out during the day) but if it doesn't tough.
As you say this is your dream. Not his.

IHateUncleJamie · 15/08/2017 12:06

Apologies if I've missed this bit, but who is paying for the beach hut? If it's just him then although he's still being incredibly selfish, I suppose he'd say it was his beach hut. If joint, he needs to consider you and the DC and not be so bloody selfish.

Personally I think £18k for storing a kayak and a kettle is ridiculous and a total waste of money. He's being a selfish twat.

CoraPirbright · 15/08/2017 12:08

H's off on one this morning reminding me every 10 minutes how it's been my dream for years and that I'm depriving the DC

The lack of logic here is utterly mind-boggling. No one will be able to use it if his fucking kayak is in there. He would be tremendously unreasonable, even if he obsessively kayaked every spare minute he had ...but its only to show off about 5 times a year!! He is an unspeakable toss pot.

I think you said that they are being built? Can you speak to the builders privately and get some fixed seating put in around a table at one end? The present him with a fait accompli?

MorrisZapp · 15/08/2017 12:09

Don't fall into the trap of blaming his mother. He's a grown man choosing to treat his wife and kids like crap.

This isn't a first world problem at all. It must affect your daily life to be living with such a self centred twat.

Original poster
LesleyKnopeIsdope · 15/08/2017 12:09

Sorry to miss out.
I'm a SAHM so I'm sure some people would consider that it's Him buying it.

That's not how I feel .

OP posts:
NancyJoan · 15/08/2017 12:09

He sounds vile. No advice, but a shoulder pat of sympathy.

Botanicbaby · 15/08/2017 12:10

OP I really feel for you he sounds emotionally abusive sorry if that comes across as dramatic.

It's not really about the kayak or beach hut really.

In a weird way the decorating story reminds me of Nigella with Charles Saatchi where he refused to eat any of the lovely things she cooked and ate weetabix or whatever instead. It was a cruel and deliberate way of hurting her whilst seemingly innocuous behaviour.

Viviennemary · 15/08/2017 12:10

I've never really seen the point of beach huts. But they are popular so obviously some people do. Don't let him store his Kayak in it. He should get a shed or find somebody with room in their garage or outbuilding and he can pay rent on that.

NancyJoan · 15/08/2017 12:10

The source of the money is irrelevant. It's family money, not his own.

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