Do your family take it in turns to pump on the Christmas tree?

[OverTheHammer]

DSs friend has just asked me this. He said at Christmas, whilst putting the tree up the whole family take it in turns to pump on it. He then asked, dead seriously "do your family do the same thing?". DS looked at me as though we'd been missing an essential part of Christmas all these years.

AIBU to think this is beyond weird to say to your mates mum??!

Never heard of this tradition...but could see my two grandsons being interested as they are at that age where they find all "toilet humour" hilarious!

Best Christmas tradition ever. This would absolutely happen in my house

Read this during the night (thanks pregnancy insomnia) & woke my DH from laughing in bed next to him.

The songs are making me laugh actual shoulder shaking laughter on the train!

SaucyJack win the thread.

my mum set the tree up years ago before we were born and my dad said it was crap so pumped on it. He added better decorations so my mum pumped on them and it just went from there really.

Oh my god, this is absolutely BRILLIANT. I'm trying to laugh silently as I'm in a public place and my shoulders are doing that uncontrollable shaking thing.

I know the miserable purse-lipped lot who think it's all sad and disgusting and sickening will be hoiking up their bosom like a Les Dawson character at all this, but I genuinely think this family sounds great. I particularly like the way the farting tradition started before they even had kids (I'm convinced a few Christmas sherries must have been involved somehow) and I can totally imagine them hysterical with laughter.

There's just something about it that makes it seem surreal and bonkers rather than crude, which therefore makes it way funnier. And it's also weirdly innocent, particularly as the kid thought it was perfectly fine to tell other people about it and also uses the word 'pump'. This is just glorious.

"Now, children, one at a time, now!"

What are the odds on his mum being a mumsnetter?

I'm chuffed at the explanation . A proper tradition !

"I know the miserable purse-lipped lot who think it's all sad and disgusting and sickening will be hoiking up their bosom like a Les Dawson character at all this,"

Why did you feel the need to post that?

Silent but violent nigggght, Holy shiiit nigggght.
All is brown, all is vile.

monkeyfacegrace
We say pump in our house. Always know it as a pump from been a kid now I've got two wee ones they say the same.

God it goes from bad to worse, DS has just informed me that young man misheard "flatulance fairy" for "fat fairy" and thinks I meant his mother!!

Crying. Please tell your son never to let this friend go.

I've never seen a thread that was a contender for classics before half way down page 1.

We usually have an artificial tree but one recent year we decided to get a real one.

Well after paying SIXTY BLOODY QUID and wrestling the savage thing home, into the house and into its stand we were exhausted and bleeding from a thousand scratches. Then I made the mistake of putting it where the artificial one always goes - yes, next to the radiator.

By Christmas day it was practically a stick. I was very upset. Even touching it made more needles drop off. If anyone had farted on it, by it, or even in the same room as it, I think it would have been rendered totally bald and I would have had an hysterical breakdown.

Only just seen the update!

That is marvellous!

It makes our family tradition of shouting "and a merry bloody Christmas to you too" rather tame.

Randomly remembered this thread today. Just checking to see how many people are taking part this year so far?

I think it's an old victoria tradition. Queen Victoria started it herself. Something to do with blowing out the ye olde lit candles (pre fairy lights).

Sorry I know it’s a zombie but I needed this this morning 😂 (poorly dog 😞)